My colleague has a really bad attitude... Advice!

Question

A person i work with has a really bad attitude and really unapproachable, not many people really like her, but get on with her for the sake of the office. Not even the Managers will say anything to her. She is always saying bad things about people behind their backs? Talking to her or a Manager is out of the question, so how do i handle her behaviour? I do try to stay upbeat - but she drives me crazy!

Answer 1

As you've probably learned, nothing good can come from agreeing with her negative diatribes, nor can anything good come from challenging her or disagreeing with her. So, try this: every time she tries to include you in one of her cyncical diatribes, ask silly questions. Misunderstand everything she says. Say "that reminds me of a joke" and tell her a joke that has nothing to do with what she said. Pretty soon, she'll just start avoiding you. Have fun with this: turn her from a source of annoyance into your own private little headgame, a source of amusement, and disarm her in the process.

Answer 2

This is why there are HR departments.  The attitude doesn't matter if she preforms her job well.  However, if she starts rumors or states facts to others which aren't true, then the company has the responsibility to speak with her.  If enough of your colleagues in the office get together and all voice your objections about her attitude and rumor mills, then HR has no recourse except to address the situation.  Just make sure of your facts before hand.  If anything is not true, then she will have recourse.

Good Luck !    

Answer 3

WHY is complaining out of the question? Just put it in writing...you are protected by law.

Answer 4

say " oi you B**** stop acting like a little kid"  

Answer 5

I work with several people who sound like this. In your case there's nothing you can really do unless you are above her in the hierarchy apart from ignore her. If you got promoted then of course, you could ask her to smarten up her act. It is an attention and power game she's playing. If enough people ignore her then unless she's a cyborg she would probably be nicer to everyone or even leave. Actually, maybe she is a cyborg. Have you asked her?

Answer 6

Simple answer is that you don't handle her behaviour. Anything that is said will probably not make a difference. My guess is that she's made herself immune to words, and altough probably very lonely, she has surrounded herself in this air of  'I don't care who I hurt', and truely believes that to be noticed is to 'be-little', she sounds very insecure and is purely attention seeking.

The only thing you can do is not to be a part, or play any part of her game, if she approaches you.

What comes around, goes around, and unfortunately this is true, and she may not be able to liaise with people or make friends. Talking about people behind their backs, is never a good idea, because it always re-bounds back.

Just be yourself, as you say up-beat, be happy and enjoy your life.

This girl will eventually sort her own life out, and maybe her behaviour and attitude towards people, colleagues, friends, and possibly even her own family, may one day change for the good.

Caramac x