My cousin and his wife adopted,?

Question

-twice- bc she said she didn't "feel like carrying a baby- ewwww!"

do you find it as repulsive as i do?

Answer 1

Like so many things in adoption this, too, is revolting.

Answer 2

Well children do a lot of gross things so if they think childbirth is gross then I feel bad for them. I remember once when I was breastfeeding not in front of anyone my step mom said how it grossed her out she thought it was so digusting. I really don't understand these people at all. Just wait untill her child poops on the carpet and shes gotta pick it up. That'll be funny...

Answer 3

I don't see anything wrong with it.  Some people have an aversion to pregnancy and childbirth, but that has no bearing on how great they will be as parents.  There is something to be said for 2 people willing to adopt rather than bringing more children into the world.

Answer 4

Some women don't want to get pregnant and give birth, and when I think about what I am going to have to go through when it finally happens for me I don't really blame them.  I am so frightened by the thought of giving birth it has almost scared me off a couple of times.  Although I am having my own children I would like to adopt also, I think it is a noble thing to give a good home to children that need it.

If adopting children is good enough for people that can't have their own children I don't see why it can't be good enough for people that can.

Answer 5

I'm not sure that repulsive is the word I would use.  I think that she may have a fantasy idea about adoption.  Some people have called adoption "the easy way".  It isn't.  Adoption is complicated.  The people involved are complicated.  And, they are real.  Adoptees are complicated.  B-parents are complicated.  A-parents are complicated.  There's no simple one-answer-for-everyone where adoption is concerned.  We should not assume that there are just tons of babies out there just lined up waiting for "our perfect little home".  

Bottom line is I think that ANYONE who is considering adopting for ANY reason, needs to do a LOT of research and homework first.  The worst adoptive parents, in my opinion, are the ones who think it is their mission in life to save all the babies from "bad" mothers.  

I hate it when people say to me, "Your children are so lucky that they were adopted by such wonderful, loving parents."  Why do I hate it?  Because, my children are not lucky.  Yes, they are blessed that they aren't living in a group home, or as permanent foster children.  Yes, we do love them with all our hearts.  But if they were truly lucky or blessed, they would not have had to deal with trauma to begin with, and they would not have had to be adopted.  That's my two cents, for what it's worth.

I've given the last part of my post a re-think.  The worst adoptive parents are really the ones who think adoption is the easy way to have a child.  No messy pregnancy.  No messy delivery.  No ugly stretch marks.  Just hop in the car and go to the baby store and pick the one you like.  Simple and easy, right?  Those parents are going to be more than a little surprised to find out that adoption is not that simple.  I don't just mean the legal process.  I mean living with adoption.  Whether you are the a-parents, the b-parents, or the adoptee, living with adoption is complicated.

Answer 6

Nice to know that she already considered children an inconvenience, what with the hassle of pregnancy and all.  I suppose the adopted one is less inconvenient.

You know, that's just sick.  Adoption is supposed to be about providing stable homes for children.  To use is as a means of keeping that girlish figure or not dealing with pregnancy shows me that this is a pretty selfish person.  It's all about what's most convenient for HER.  That's not the kind of person I'd want adopting.

Answer 7

Yes, I do find adoptive parents like this repulsive.  "Too posh to push" and too lazy to keep up an open adoption.  What can I say?

Answer 8

No some people  are scared by the idea. I think adopting is so cool and fun. I'm carrying a baby right now and is is so beautiful i love it. to each is own.

Answer 9

Depends on the people. I hope your cousin isn't like that! But, like someone said before, to each his own.

Answer 10

I  think adopting because you cant be botherd to be pregnant, is pretty bad. But then again, who are you or we to question her parenting skills. Not wanting to carry a child because of pregnancy, doesnt make her a bad mother or a bad person. Is she a good mother in your eyes? Does she provide for the kids shes got? If its yes, then whats the big problem? It was obviously in the past.

Answer 11

Yeppers.  Totally self-serving and self-entitled IMHO

The 'too posh to push' brigade are many

She will never know what she's missed out on, the sacred bond between mother and child can never be replicated

Answer 12

no, it's not repulsive at all

Answer 13

I never have understood that particular reason....  And personally (my personal opinion) when someone just doesn't want to be pregnant or give birth I would rather seem those people adopt an older--waiting-- or special needs child.... I sort of feel this is about "wanting your cake and eating it too...."

Answer 14

I don't know if I agree with her reasoning. But I think adoption is great and there are so many children that deserve loving homes.

Answer 15

I suppose as someone who can't have children it annoys me, but I guess each have their own journey and I try not to judge motivations, just waht they do with them.  (open adoption, fairness, reputable agency etc.)  Those are the areas I become more judgemental.

Answer 16

it really depends on the person, if they do not want it to hurt or somthin they may not, plus a lot of people need homes

Answer 17

maybe (just throwing out ideas) they couldn't concieve and they don't want to tell everyone that? I don't know, I guess some people can be funny about pregnancy.