My cousin is coming to visit and wants to bring her BF...

Question

my cousin and i have always been very close. like sisters. about 2 years ago i moved an hour away and so we don't get to see each other as often as i would like especially during the school year (she's in college). this summer has been a lot of fun because we have got to hang out quite a bit.

we planned on her coming to stay with me and my bf for a few days in august. i can't take off work so some of the time she will just hang out at our house until we get home. i completely trust her so that's not a problem. the problem is her boyfriend. they have been together a few years so its "serious" and she just told me he was coming. he's also very rude and disrespectful. he barely even talks to us. my bf hates him even more than i do.

my bf and i decided we don't want him to come stay at our house. so how do i tell her? i'm afraid she will me furious and not come at all. or maybe stop talking to me? i feel so conflicted. should i email her or call her? i just don't want this to come between us. she's the closest family member i have. any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

be tackful but say you want to respect everyones feelings but things need to get better before you have sleepovers tell her you love her but there are personality clashes and it would not be a wise choice for either of your relationships

Answer 2

ur cousin is just stupid n doesnt have respect

u asked her 2 come n only her!

n her she goesn bringin her bf!!

wtf man she is nuts

just call her and tell her i cant have ur bf over

u come by urself

and then if she said yes she is a gd cousin if she ssaid no then she is fukd in the head

Answer 3

tell her as nicely as you can how you feel, then the choise is hers, confront the bf or take his side totaly against you

you cant make this choise for her, you just have to tell her how you feel and hope it works out

Answer 4

First off, it was disrespectful of her to not ask first "if" she could bring her b/f with her to your home.  

It's your home, and you make the rules.  If you don't want the guy around; then you're going to have to say something.  If you don't, and they both show up at your door. . .then the fur will fly when tempers start. . . and you'll have a bigger mess on your hands than you do now.

It's best to talk to her vs e-mailing; and I would explain it pretty much as you'll told us. . . be honest!  Don't try to cover it up or make a bunch of excuses.

One thing you may suggest is that her and her squeeze stay at a motel/hotel instead of at your house to avoid conflicts.  And there is no reason you cannot say that it would be different if he was not so rude, etc.

She obviously has to know his personality and that he doesn't get along well with others . . . and if she chooses to be with someone like that, so be it; it's her choice.  However, it's also YOUR choice to NOT be around someone like that. . . nor have that person staying under your roof.

Answer 5

Just be honest with her and tell her why.Or allow him tio stay there too,

If she gets mad then that is understandable he is her b/f you aren't.He has s*x with her you don't.She also has  put up with his behavior the last 2 yrs and if he is as bad as you say, then she has issues hon.

Now you all get married and quit living in sin.........k?

Answer 6

She knows he is a jerk, so she won't hold it against you. Find out if her plans have changed since he is coming and they are getting a room. Just be honest with her and polite. Don't email her....that's rude!

You could also suggest to her that she talk to him about his behavior and give him one last chance.