My crazy sister and her dysfunctional relationships

Question

My sister only goes for RICH, s****., over-weight men who are control freaks and jerks.

She is DRIVING ME CRAZY. She'll let them talk to her like she's pure scum!

She'll allow them to criticize her family and call her a fat b*****, say f**** you stupid a$$, and practically curse at her like there's no tomorrow. She'll cry ALL night long, but she ALWAYS forgives them and goes RIGHT BACK to the jerks.

Every time I try to console her and make her feel better, she yells at ME and tells me that I'm a worthless piece of sh*t and that I have no idea what I'm talking about.

I love my sister to DEATH, but she hates my guts (for some unknown reason).

Our mother has told her numerous times that she needs to stop dating rich snobs that treat her like garbage, but my sister will not listen to ANYONE.

She FINALLY broke up with a jerk recently, but she STILL tries to get him to take her back. IT'S SO PATHETIC and it makes me angry that she's so naive and easy to take advantage of.

Her past ex-boyfriend keeps driving by our house every evening. It's SERIOUSLY beginning to scare me.

How can I encourage my sister to listen to her family and find a NICE guy instead of a spoiled little rich guy that controls and harms her emotionally?

She's EXTREMELY stubborn and has low self-esteem (She's battling obesity).

P.S. In case you are wondering, my sister is almost 21 and I am 17.

Answer 1

As Dr. Laura would say - you can't change someone.  You can encourage, but it's solely up to the person themselves to change.

It know it's really hard to see someone self-destruct that way, but until she decides for herself that she's had enough, nothing is going to do it.

*hugs*

Answer 2

you need to have a family discussion. And then put her on the t-v show Queen Bees. That might teach her. Sounds like she'd be a good fit.

Then video tape her one day, or a whole month even, during the breakup. Make a video of it and have the family comment on it. Then sit her down, and force her to watch it. When she comes out the room, she may be crying, but at least it will let her see what shes like on the outside.

And it sounds like it won't help, but get your family to tell her one good thing about her every day. It will boost her self-esteem fast. And I know it sounds stupider, but if you see a guy putting her down, use one of these:

'Shut up. You don't even realize you have an amazing person standing right in front of you and you're being so mean. When shes gone, you'll never find another like her.'

'God you're such a f*g. Oh what are you gonna do? Hit me with your purse?'

'Don't use my sister. If you need a cheap thrill, go use your money and buy a hooker. But not my sister. Because she has more dignity than that. She has more self-respect'.

If you use the last one when shes listening, maybe she'll actually try harder. I understand what you're going through. Its tough. But sometimes, when we fight an up-hill battle, we still win.

~Luff

MJ

Answer 3

wow i am not realy for shoure what to say she needs help i say set her up on a blind date

Answer 4

First off your sister have self problems that nobody can fix but her and until she starts loving herself she will always attract guys like the ones she have had in the pass and I know it hurts you because I got a sister similar to your situation and she was older then me and she use to hurt me as well and I also learned from my sisters experience that she listened to me once I stop talking so much and just kinda let her live her life because my sister thought I was jealous and thought I was trying to run her life.Even though I was being a sister and looking out for her but she will learn and some back and say sis i remember when you said this and said that I hope she change that because its not health