My dad feels like he is superior over me...?

Question

When we disagree, he'll say "Because I'm the adult, that's why." For example, he doesn't let my sister & I eat on the couch, but he can. So I asked him why and that's what he said.

I've tried SO many times to make it clear to him that it's unfair to do something and then not allow your children to do it (in certain circumstances.) Parents are supposed to set a good example.

Please help me solve this issue, any help would be great! & thanks!

Answer 1

Maybe because he thinks that the children with mess up the sofa and drop something on it that will not come off.

Eat on the floor no?

Or the table.

Adults tend to be more responsible then children. (In most cases)

Answer 2

  if you've expressed to him that you feel it is not fair and his response is still the same, there really is nothing you can do.  he is the parent and for whatever reason he feels that is the way it should be.  maybe you feel like he is trying to act superior because you're not being understood and you want to be treated like more of an adult, but he probably means well.  that doesn't mean that he is going about enforcing things in the healthiest way though.  in my opinion, saying "because i'm the adult" is never the best way to handle a disagreement, though could seem that way to a parent out of frustration. bottom line is if you're living in a loving healthy environment you should respect your parents. try not to take it personal. it will make you a better person in the long run. now, if he is doing something morally wrong or illegal that you are wanting to do then that's an entirely different situation for both of you, but i'm hoping that's not the case.

Answer 3

He's right. You live under his roof and his rules. Smile and follow the rules and your life will be so much better.

Answer 4

I know how you feel. My step dad eats in the living room, leaves his food plates all over, and doesn't put food away. He does a million other annoying things that I can't do. I hate it. If I left my stuff lying around I would get in trouble. I can't stand that I'm the adult and I said so or the My House My Rule or I pay the bills so i can do what i want.

Well say I am going to do what ever I want when Im older. Just deal with it I try. When you get your own place have your own rules and be fair to your kids

Answer 5

You are absolutely right. You don't sound like you will turn out like this, but basically he is raising a bunch of hypocrites, because HE is a hypocrite. Any mature adult knows that you lead by example, not words. Words are cheap. Children will generally do what they see their parents do. You probably will never be able to change him, but kudos to you for having such a mature approach.

This is exactly what is wrong with this world today, and I am guessing that I am getting all the thumbs down from alllll of the hypocritical parents out there. You all need to stand up and start acting like mature adults..... for your KIDS sake, ya big bunch of babies!

Answer 6

he is your father he pays the bills he gives you a place to live and he cares about you, you should be happy you have a dad that cares about you alot of kids dont have that  

Answer 7

is you paying bills? if not then you have no say in your parents house, they are setting examples of discipline, you don't see it yet but when you grow to have your own family you will thank your parents

Answer 8

Well there's nothing I can do about it...he is your dad after all...

Answer 9

Your dad IS superior over you. Children must obey their parents and he IS the adult...He is older than you...Children must obey adults, especially their parents. Now that doesn't mean if you see a stranger and they come up to you telling you to come with them or something, that's different. I think you understand what I mean. But anyway, he probably just doesn't want you or your sister to make a mess on the couch or something. But he can eat there because he is the owner of it first of all, and you are his child so he can tell you what to do, and also because adults tend to be less messier than children. When you are old enough, and you have children, you get to make the rules. It is simply a rule your dad has and you should follow it.

Answer 10

ha ha ha my dad does the excact same thing! WE cant eat on the couch but he does! I think its because we are kids and he thinks we are messier and will spill it and stain the couch. Atleast for my little brother anyways.... sorry about that! i wouldnt try arguing, youll just get in trouble! just try and forget about it, parents are crrrrrazy :)

Answer 11

my parents do the exact same thing, but i learned to obey and not talk back and stuff. :/ anyway, hes the adult and he can treat u like that until u move out, i guess.  

Answer 12

hes your dad, hes allowed to be an @$$hole. thats what they do sometimes. lifes not fair.

oh and i would definatly [to make him mad] buy yourself a cheap peice of furniture like a blowup couch or bean bag, place it next to the couch, and be like "HAHA I CAN EAT HERE CUZ ITS MINE!!!!" but thats just me =]

Answer 13

Grow up, pay your own way and move out.  It's his couch.  

His job is to make sure you have clothes on your back, food in your tummy, a roof over your head and an education from K-12.  Eating on the couch is not a right.

As far as setting examples, have you ever heard the saying "Do as I say, not as I do?"

Answer 14

He just isn't taking the time to give you a good enough reason but the out come is the same. try this reason "I bought the couch I pay the rent if I s***w it up I will be the one who replaces it with the money I make. if you mess it up I will want to beat you but I wont ... I will want to  but I wont.....   So don't you bug him he has rules he dosent have to let you break but he can choose to since he is the one who provides the standard in which you live. IMO

You can try to make a deal with him show him you are responsible mow the lawn with out being asked do the dishes clean his car keep your room clean. when he notices the change and  mentions it. ask if he thinks you can be trusted and treated like an adult. (this will make him proud and change his attitude toward you

Answer 15

Try talking to him when you two aren't arguing over something. He's not going to want to discuss the matter if he's just told you go to eat in the kitchen, and you get upset over it. He will, everytime, pull the Dad card and you will lose the fight, most likely.

Try pulling him aside when you're both in a good mood, and say something along the lines of, "Dad, I don't want this to turn into an argument, so please hear me out." Explain how you feel. Tell him you're willing to comply by the household rules, if everybody else has to follow them too. Express that you aren't try to be a pain, you just really need some reasoning to be explained to you. All the while, be sure to keep your voice calm and even. If you start to sound too much like you're whining, you'll be right back to square one.

Hopefully you two can have a mature, even conversation and you two can come to some understanding. :)

Answer 16

Sweetheart, your dad is superior to you.  He bought the couch, so if he wants to eat on it he can.  Maybe you and your sister are known for spilling food, or maybe he thinks you will?  Yes, life seems so unfair when you are young, but believe me, please believe me, when you are an adult with kids, you will understand.

Answer 17

That's because he is, he made you after all

if he is a hypocrite, that's something for you two to work out

Answer 18

Matthew 19:19  

Answer 19

LIFE IS UNFAIR SO STFU U STUPID LITTLE ***** I ***** HATE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 20

He is superiour... he gave you life :D And if you live in his house and he doesnt like it if you eat on his couch then I probably wouldnt it it. Is it because you are a messy eater?

Answer 21

I can empathize with you. As a parent, I also believe that a parent should set an example for their children as they learn more from what they see than what they are told. On the other hand, he IS your father and as long as you are living in his home, I guess you have to follow his rules. It could be that he can eat on the couch (and you can't) because he will be the only one to blame when something gets spilled, etc. Or, he may even want to teach you better manners than his own except he is not willing to change his own.. if you know what I mean.

I would suggest that you bring what he is doing (saying) to his attention at a time other than when he says it. Maybe it will make him think about what what he is doing. At the very least, you may get a better explanation than "Because I'm the adult, that's why".

Good Luck.  

Answer 22

No it don't make sense but that's the way it is. He is the adult and has the right to make that decision. Until you have your own place you don't have that right. Whether its wrong or right that's just the way it is. Yes they should be setting an example but something as stupid as eating on the couch should be the least of your worries. Who cars if you can't eat on the couch get over it and go do your chores.  

Answer 23

Well, in general he IS your superior but he's not supposed to do stuff like that because it doesn't set a good example, I guess.

Maybe he just feels this way because both of you are girls and he is a guy. A lot of people grew up thinking that way - that guys are superior to girls. It used to be part of a lifestyle, maybe it was part of his way back when. There is nothing you can do about it now, though, it's been ingrained in his mind for years and years.

Don't worry though, in a few years you'll be able to move out and do whatever you want!