My dad had an affair

Question

I found out via revealing pics of a co-worker of his on his computer (he wasn't very discrete about it). I told my older sister and brother (i'm 21, they're 27 and 29). I confronted my father and he pretty much had a melt down; nothing to deny. I told my father to tell my siblings himself, which he is doing tomorrow. I haven't told my mother- she's obsessed with what other people think of her, and i can't be the one to tell her. it's easy to think you could tell this to your mother if you were put in this situation, but it's much different when it actually happens.

I am regretting telling my siblings because I feel like I could have had my father fix this situation without ruining any relationships. Any help or advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Answer 1

you are adding grease to a fire.  Stay out of their business.  I know it is hard but, it is going to hurt who in the long run.  I am sure your mom is aware of the affairs.  It probably is not the first one.  

Answer 2

Maybe your siblings can help you break the news.Your mom does deserve to know. Give your dad the option of owning up and telling her himself and maybe she can forgive him or they can work on the problems between them. If he doesn't your mom might feel hurt but also really cared for if all three of you get the courage to tell her and its easier on you because now its not all on you.  

Answer 3

I undrestand that you feel bad about this, if he has done it once what is to say that the wont do it again?  I am by no means trying to say that your father is a bad person so please do not take this the wrong way.  If you were married and your husband was having an affair and your child knew and they did not tell you... well how would you feel?  It is only right that your mom is told and i think that your dad should be a man and tell her himself..  This should not be put all on your shoulders but your mom does deserve to now what is going on.  I know that this is hard for you but you have to think of your mom too.