My dad hates me! What do i do?

Question

I'm not the best daughter anyone can have. I cause a load of problems and now i think my dads had enough. He wants to send me to a childs home. I'm 15, 16 next year in march. If you look at my past questions, they all relate to this guy. Well, so does the situation with my dad. When my mum died last year i've been losing myself in all different directions, and i don't know if i can be the girl i once was. I want to make things right with my dad, but its beyond just a white lie now. Dad makes it in to such a big deal that i don't do much housework; that i can't cook; that me and my brother argue a lot. At the end of the day i'm a teenager with no mum, and its hard growing up without someone to talk to about all your girl problems and everything else. To be honest, i don't want to make up with my dad, but i suppose i have to. The last thing i want is to go to a childs home. x

Answer 1

I'm so sorry about your mum, I totally sympathise with how hard it must be and you sound so strong. I can't imagine that your dad hates you. It's understandable that when your mum died, you changed. You don't have to be the girl you once was, and your dad probably isn't the man he once was either. Maybe your dad hurts too, perhaps as much as you do? You say it's hard being a teenager without a mum, it must be hard looking after children without their mother to help. You may have more in common than you think, which could be why you're not getting along.

Your other questions talk about boys and you have experienced a big loss to which you seem wise, so I think you seem quite mature for your age. You're old enough to start doing housework now, you're not a kid who's incapable so you should pull your weight. It's also natural to argue with siblings, but you're also grown up enough to realise that all your actions probably do put a strain on your dad.

You need a real heart to heart with your dad. You need to listen to and understand his point of view, as well as explaining your own. Tell him how you feel, and understand how he does.

Do you have an auntie or a close friend who you can talk to about your girl problems? It's true that only another girl can understand what girls go through growing up.

Good luck x

Answer 2

You are going through a very difficult time with the lose of your mum , and it would seem that your dad is not fully aware of how you are feeling . It really is time to talk to him...but you must also remember that your dad is probably finding it hard also. I'm sure your dad doesn't want to send you away , he is just frustrated with your behaviour and maybe he feels he has failed in some way. You must talk to him and work on your relationship with him. I think deep down you do want to sort things out with your dad and it would be a good thing to do...he is your dad after all, he is not perfect , he will and does get things wrong but I'm sure if you were in danger or hurt in anyway he would be the first to be there with you.

Answer 3

Im so sorry about your mum.

The best thing u can do in a situation like this is sit down and tell your dad EXACTLY how u feel.

tell him how hard u find it not having ur mum around and that u recognise that you are causing alot of problems.

your dad will be grieving alot also, which will make him crack with you even more.

Why not go and help him do the pots and have a chat with him. even family counselling may be a good idea. u need to build a bond with ur dad AND your brother because u really need eachother at a time like this, and now your dad has to look after u alone, u are going to have to cut him some slack. give him a hand.

you are the new lady of the house now. u need to make life a bit easier for ur dad and tell him that things are going to change.

i wish u all the best of luck... he wont send u to a childrens home im sure its just a threat

xx

Answer 4

just try to do little things bit by bit in the home, even if you have to ask him if anything needs doing. show him that you dont want to go, dont just tell him.

Answer 5

You need to sit down with your dad and tell him how you are feeling. Let him no that you miss your mom so much, and that you don't want to go to a home. You and your dad need each other. Maybe your can start going out together as a family to get back the closeness.