My dad...horses.....grr...?

Question

we r gonna buy land with an 8 stall barn.

i would have 3 horses. my dad wants to get other ppl to board there and stuff. he wants to fill it all the way up. i say thats not gonna happen cause I would have to muck all the stalls..before school. and after. i have homework. and i would have to wake up at 3:30 just to get the fricken stalls mucked before school. 8..before school and after. and after school i have to ride my 3 horses and do homework and go to church.

i think he is being ridiculous. dont you think thats kind of an overload for a 12 year old? i do!

tell me if im being self centered, but i dont think i am. is it me or him thats being self centered??

on weekends i wouldnt mind it though!

thanks. sorry if i sound rude. but its gonna be hard to do all that, considering the fact that i have to get ready for skool.

Answer 1

yes. eight stalls is a lot. and note: you don't have to ride all three horses every day, you could make a schedule. like horse 31 Monday horse#2 Tuesday and horse #3 wendsday.or somthing like that and if you do have to muck out 8 stalls then you will have more time.

Answer 2

Your dad is demanding WAY TOO MUCH of you, sweetie- that's just the simple truth. You are lucky to have 3 horses of your own at your age- I was 15 before I ever got my first horse, and here you are with 3 of them at 12. Where is your mom, sweetie? What's her take on all this? I know you are being way overscheduled and overworked, but does she realize this too? You aren't being selfish- quite the opposite, in fact. It's YOUR DAD who is being totally unreasonable here, and what he's doing is completely unrealistic. When do you get to be a kid, sweetie, and have a normal life with other children your own age? Even on the weekends, this is too much work for someone your age to be dealing with- you need time for church, to play, and to study, as well as do personal things like get ready for your school week. Someone needs to set your dad straight about a few things- but that someone needs to be A LOT OLDER than you are- no amount of ranting or raving on your part is going to make him listen to you. I think your dad sees getting the barn as a chance to maybe make some money, but what he doesn't realize is that boarding horses for people is a losing proposition at best. Most people who do this are lucky to break even, and most lose money. I know, because I live on a farm, and WE board horses, or rather, my sister does.

One suggestion I have is that you might ask your trainer ( I am assuming you have a trainer you take lessons from and work with) to try to talk some sense into your dad. Somehow, he needs to be made to see the light and give up his notion that you are going to be able to do all the work- you are only a little girl, for Heaven's sake, and what he's trying to make you do is unfair and cruel. When I was twelve, I wasn't even allowed to take full care of our family's DOGS, much less a horse- and he wants you to take care of 8 of them?? Is he planning to pay you for your work?? You ARE within your rights to ask to be paid- and I don't just mean an allowance, either. If your dad wants you to work like an adult, then he needs to TREAT YOU like an adult, and pay you at least the minimum wage that adults get. Otherwise, your only way out of this is going to be to report your dad to CPS for mistreating you.

I am sorry your dad is acting like a complete fool, sweetie- and I hope that somehow, someone can talk some sense into him before it's too late. He's going to do much more than just wear you out if he continues this way- he will also drive you away from horses for good, and then WHERE WILL HE BE???

Good luck.

Answer 3

It'd be cool to have boarders but if he dumped it ALL on you that'd be wrong. You've got school and everything else.

Why can't he pitch in so you wouldn't do EVERYTHING?

You should be able to have a stall for each of your horses.

Afterall, it's your house.

Answer 4

that sounds like WAY too much

Answer 5

Sorry, but a litle clarification plase.  You say that you are buying land with an 8 stall barn.  Does that mean you will be building a house or is there a living facility already there?  If no house yet, then being that you are 12, someone is going to have to drive you to even get there to do these chores.

I think you need to be more PROACTIVE with your dad rather than REACTIVE, and do the mature sit down and discuss your concerns and vice versa.  

Re-read some of the great advice given here...and make your points and concerns which are valid known...but don't have a hissy fit!!  Your very lucky in a lot of ways to have three horses ans a parent willing to buy property to accomodate your love for horses.  

Good Luck!!  Remember..you get more with honey than vinegar!!

Answer 6

OOH, that's rough! That is crazy for 12 yr old to do, why doesn't he help out if he wants to do all the boarding? And no, you aren't being self centered, your thinking of all the work that's going to have to be done, unlike your dad, lol.

Answer 7

I once boarded at a facility where the owner's children were required to do the chores you describe before going to school.  The bus picked them up around 6:30 am if I recall correctly.  They stalled more than 8 horses, but there were 3 kids, so it is similar.

The mom was repeatedly called because the children were dirty, hair not groomed, they smelled, and they were falling asleep in class.  When they got home from school, the chores came first.  They didn't begin to do homework until well after the often late and piecemeal dinners.  The mom and dad were seldom available for help with the homework.

Have your dad read this and think about his plan.....some parents think it builds character in their children.  What it got for these children was hatred of horses and barn work, humiliation and feeling like social outcasts, and they left home at early ages, not under good circumstances, and got as far away as they could.

Answer 8

Honestly, I doubt he'd really expect you to muck 8 stalls before school starts.  That is a lot of stalls in a short amount of time, assuming you don't get up at 4AM.  Are you sure that's his intention?  Maybe he's planning on some of your boarders mucking their own stalls.  

If he really does expect you to muck them all and you have no way around it, then I imagine you would have to clean them after school.  Otherwise you'd be up so early in the morning that you'd have to go to bed before any homework could get done!

Answer 9

no no, i dont think youjr dad understands how liveries work.

you can have 3 types - full, part or DIY (do it yourself)

i think the best for you would be a part.

when you advertise for it, say the stables will get mucked out on the weekends and the rest of the week the people who own the horses will come and do it themselves.

I dont think it is a good idea to fill them all up either. i think at a time, you should only have 7 horses in boarding because if a stable goes faulty and needs repair, the horse that is living in it wont have anywhere to go so always make sure there is at least 1 spare stable.

it is alot for you to do yourself so say to him to put on a part livery. its jsut too much otherwise, you would get to charge morre too.

Answer 10

Well, in most boarding situations, the owners of the horses are responsible for mucking out their own stalls, getting their horses out for exercise, etc.  That is unless you are offering a full service boarding facility, which I do not think that is his intention.  Being as he is probably buying the barn for you, it is an easy way for him to help with the expenses of your horses.  The only real added time factor would be feeding the extra horses and making sure they have water.  I would sit down with him and discuss what type of boarders you would want to have in the barn.  Instead of jumping on the "I have no time and why are you trying to make my life harder" bandwagon, you need to have an adult discussion with your father about what his expectations are and then you both can decide what is fair and doable for both of you.  It is extremely expensive to have a barn and boarders would help lighten the load for your dad.  Good luck and hope everything works out.

Answer 11

why not home school?

and if your doing all the work make sure you dad pays you or he can help with the work too!

don't you have a pasture? won't have to muck everyday with a pasture and then on weekend you could do the pasture

and no it's not an overload mucking takes about 5-10 minutes  so it takes you about an hour to muck then and hour to get ready.. most schools start at 8, so you only have to wake up at 6 and i do that every morning anyway

or you could muck at night after riding at like 8 and be done by 9 do homework till 10 and 12 year old homework is not that much, wait till you get into highshcool and college!

i think it will be hard and alot of work, but accomplishing hardships and working hard is what gets you places in life

***edit and i'm not saying you don't respect your dad but even if you have a horrible father your job is to obey him and respect him after all you get EVERYTHING free from him  house, food, ect...  so listen to your daddy!

Answer 12

It would be a better idea to have all of the horses turned out as much as possible. Less money spent on hay (although they still need hay), and less mucking to do. Your dad could also cut a deal with boarders... they get a discount if they help with barn chores, or they don't do full board, as in they muck and feed and turn out their own horses.

also... I don't know if anyone's pointed this out to you yet, but you have to be 13 to use Yahoo!Answers...

Answer 13

That is kinda harsh!!

Answer 14

You could have people board at your place and offer rough board, or limited board. That way they pay for the space, and maybe feeding and putting out, but it is the owner's responsibility to muck the stalls. There are a ton of variations that you can offer your dad, but that is not fair to you at all. Try suggesting rough board at first, or only a couple horses that have full board so you'll be responsible for less.

Answer 15

well at least you realize how hard it actually is to own horses! You're one responsible 12 year old! You should have your dad hire local kids that want to work around horses, and offer riding in return or something. a lot of them would jump right on that.

Answer 16

It doesn't sound like you guys have enough horse experience to even own a boarding stable. Most people don't want to board their horse at a place where the main person taking care of their horse is inexperienced or a child.

Answer 17

Need to talk to him and tell him you cannot possibly do any more than 3 horses and if he want more then he will have to do them or hire a stable-hand to help, make sure your tell him your school work is important to you.

Answer 18

If you are wealthy enough to afford property with a horse barn on it, and three horses, why can't you just hire some mexican do to it for you?

Answer 19

If your barn is nice enough you could charge the people a few hundred a month. With 5 stalls, and if you have outside pastures, you could get enough money each month to pay for some one to come out and clean the stalls. Around 100 if its a nice place, and located right. Just look at barns in the area and see what there charging, just keep in mind on some of those barns will have trainers on site, a huge plus. And make sure your dad knows that you will be responsible for the horses, having to call the vets out when needed. So you should make the boarders sing contracts saying they wont sue if the horse is heart on your property or something happens.

Answer 20

Maybe you could work out something with your boarders assuming that you can get some boarders ,  times are tough and it seems luxuries are the first thing to go,  for a reduced rate they will muck out their own stalls. But you will still have to feed on a schedule

Answer 21

Hello,

Well, the boarding stables I have been too only muck once a day....

I THINK you could help out, it will keep you busy and out of trouble!  BUT, not if it interferes with your education!

MY personal preference is too keep horses turned out 24/7.  It makes for a well minded horse, we don't keep anything in our barn except for hay!

Answer 22

that is kinda mean. maybe he could muck the stalls and do stuff in the mornings. and maybe you could require people to muck in the afternoons. Then you would just have to do your horses and you would have more time to enjoy other things. :) just a sugestion

Answer 23

But......is having the barn full the solution to financing having this place?  It's tough economic times, and if that's what it takes to be able to afford to have your horses, then you may very well have to become a team player and work for it too.  Of the 8 horses, how many would your dad ride?  Any of them?  You say YOU would have 3 horses, that YOU ride.  If this is being done so that you can have your dream and enjoy your horses, then I think perhaps you need to be willing to pitch in and help rather than just expect to sit back and "only do yours" while expecting your parents to pay for the whole shootin' match.  8 stalls is a lot, I'll give you that, but if that's what it takes for you to have your horses, I guess you need to sit back and ask yourself which you'd rather have....more time and no horses, or have to work in order to have a nice place for your horses.  When I was that age I had to help take care of a herd of ponies, had to help put up hay, feed, the whole enchilada.  And saying no wasn't even considered, it just wasn't an option.  If I wanted something to ride, I had to pitch in, because we sure didn't have the critters for my parents.....they never rode.

Answer 24

well really if they are kept clean everyday you should get by with doing it once. i clean mine once a day and they stay clean and dry. tell your day to be carefull boarding horses alot of diseases can spread if the proper action isnt taken. ps u will probably have to get up a half hour early still to feed and water but other than that its all okay

Answer 25

At 12 years old you cannot legally start a horse boarding business, so if this business is registered in your father's name, have him much the stalls! If he wants to go down this business route, it should be his responsibility! I know there's not much you can do at that age, when your parents have the ability to pull the, 'do it because I told you to' card, but have you tried sitting down, and honestly telling him your concern about having that many animals to be responsible for 24/7? That's a huge deal, and I can't believe he'd expect you to take it on.