My dad intimidates me and im afraid to talk to him..?

Question

okay i'm 13 and i live with my mom, but i see my dad on every other weekend and he lives in the same city as me. my dad is really over protective and i cant do anything.

one day i went to my friends house and she made me a myspace. i didnt do anything bad on it or anything, but my dad made a myspace and his name is 'DAD' and he has a picture of me and him as his picture. he has all these rules and he has to read my messages and see my friends. he wont let me wear eyeshadow, i had a really lite skin color with sparkles on one day (i didnt even put it on, my step mom did) and he saw it and got really mad. and he always drives by house randomly and spyies on me and my friends. he wont let me wear a bikkini bathing suite. he also wont let me even talk to boys, even if they are just friends. im so intimidated that im afraid to ask him for some room. but my mom lets me do all these things and likes it when i wear makeup. what do i do? i have never asked him cause im always scared.

Answer 1

Okay Kayla, here's what you dp, you are obviously a mature young adult, and your father needs to know that. Remember You have control over your life, and your father obviously doesn't trust you enough to let you decide what is good for you. And remember there is nothing to be intimidated about. He obviously loves you and cares about what is Important "For You", but not so much about what is important "To You". Maybe you should have your Mom talk to him for you, she obviously understands how it is or was to be a female and want to have fun doing girl-type things. Let her speak to your father and save you the awkward trip. And if this fails let your father know that he needs to let you grow up and not to basically stalk you because being careful is good, but putting kids in a box only hides them from the world, and stops them from getting a hold on their lives. Let him no that he must let you grow up under YOUR pretenses and allow YOU to make minor decisions.

Hope this Helps! =]

Answer 2

Oh~~ i can tell that your dad loves you very very much~! you're his little girl and he just didn't know how to let you grow up~ when he sees u all pretty up, he fears that u'll be dating and he doesn't know what kind of guys they are, so he's just scared~

you should always talk to your dad if you have uncertainties~ i'm sure if u let him know more about how u feel and what ur thoughts are , he'll be able to understand u more and then learn to give u more freedom bc he trusts u~

u can sit down and tell him first that u love him and knows that he loves you, but sometimes in the way of expression his love, u feel scared and intimidated to even speak to him. but you feel like you and he should share a good relationship bc it' s important to u~ then u go on and tell him how u feel and what u want from him as a dad, what u can do to make him more comfortabe.

but please, don't say stuff like, "well mom lets me!" bc that would either make him feel inadequate as a parent or angry bc he might think it's right and ur mom wrong. it's bad either way. just focus on him and you.

he's ur dad and he loves you and he longs for a relationship with you. but u have to let him know that u'r growing up and needs some space... tell him that when u feel troubled, u hope that u can always go to him for advice~

and be responsible -- prove to him and u can be trusted :)

Answer 3

you've got to start somewhere----it may as well be now.  you want things to lighten up...you have to talk to him----may be he dont realize how its effecting u.    sounds like he sees u as "daddys little girl", and hey---there's nothing wrong there....if u dont start talking to him....that situation will never get any better.

once he has earned your trust that u would talk to him( in other words---share things that you do, talk to him about stuff ya know)----the more he might feel close and open to about stuff in your life, the more he might feel more trusting towards u,too.

Answer 4

GOOD FOR DAD!!!

your mom could take some lessons from him!!!

Answer 5

You don't live with him.  You can do whatever as long as it's with your moms rules.  Just tell your dad that your mom has the right to raise you however she wants to raise you and tell your dad to get out of your property so you and your mom can enjoy their own privacy.

Answer 6

you might need to compose a set of rules for each house when you're there. like...when you r at ur dad's, dont wear the makeup or withdraw urself from his attention...you only see him once in awhile . he's a dad!!! no matter what... he wants to try to keep you his little girl for as long as possible. and years from now when you look back you are going to realize how much your dad does care about you.  you wont realize it now.  you r at a selfish age right now.. but thats normal..