My dad is a hypocrite and I don't want to live with him anymore, I need advice ASAP?

Question

My parents have been divorced since I was 10, and I spend the summers and a week each month with my dad and I DO love him but I don't want to stay with him anymore. I'm 17, in the top 10 of my class, a cheerleader, and I want to be taken seriously which he REFUSES to do. He's ridiculously strict. My curfew is earlier than everybody else's. I'm grounded for 3 WKS for something nobody else would be, & my mom isn't getting involved because this happened with him. And he's a hypocrite! He's 46 yrs old and he's dating a MED STUDENT. She looks like she should be my sister! And he put me on freaking lock down to keep me from seeing a guy who was 21, and that's only 4 yrs apart. He's at least like 20 yrs older than her! What is the matter with him? My step dad is the exact same age as my mom. She'd never date somebody who looked like he should be my brother. It's embarrassing! He was out until like 3am last night. Who does that?And I have to be in at 10 on a Wed even in the summer!

Answer 1

I understand ur anger. My mom was a hypocrite, i left tha year i turned 18! Since it's only tha summer weeks though, u should just let it roll off of ur back. Yes i believe u do have a right to give input on no longer going to his house, and ur old enough to tell tha judge why. As far as his love life, though it is a bad example for u, and very hypocritical, i think that's honestly his choice as an adult. It sux, i know, but those are ur choices. If u do leave ( tha right way, not running away) yea, get back with ur man, but in his house, no, don't do it, it would be disrespectful, even under tha circumstances. Two wrongs don't make a right, it only makes an even!

Also, don't tell him he's a hypocrite, but maybe sit and talk one on one about how u feel, in depth...

Answer 2

Your dad doesn't want you to see that guy because he knows what young guys want:s*x. And he's afraid you'll get yourself involved in a way he's not willing to even think about. He loves you. That's why he's being strict. It's hard when you're young, because you want to be independent. So if you really hate it, move out. But he's 46 and has been married. He's allowed to do what he wants. You live with him, and he pays for you, so you have to listen to what he says. If you're ready to pay for your own life, then you can make your own decisions. Try to see it from your dad's perspective. He loves you. That's all that's going on here. Try to talk to him like an adult and see if he can budge with the curfew. But I doubt he'll budge with the guy. And you know what, as much as you care about this guy, there's going to be many more in your life. This won't be the only one. So don't ruin the relationship with your dad over him. It's not worth it.

Answer 3

he is not a hypocrite...

actually, he is looking out for you....

Do you know that your boyfriend could be arrested for dating you? -i mean, if he was caught having close relations with you...you are technically jail bait since you are not 18....

Your dad is older, and there is no LAW about an older guy dating a much younger girl-- unless she is UNDER 18!

I know, its so rough being a teenager, but hun....you only have a year left, and the world is yours for the taking.

Answer 4

That does sound a bit harsh. Have you tried talking to him? Sometimes parents don't realize how unfair and hypocritical they are unless you point it out. If you have talked to him, tell your mom you know she doesn't want to get involved but she has to do something. Your parents should be working together to parent you since they made you together.

Answer 5

ahhhh the wonderful world of a teenage girl. . .I know EXACTLY what your going through. the only difference is my parents are still together and growing up my dad never let me do ANYTHING and my mom always did as he said. . .the bad thing is that there isnt much you can do about it. the good thing is your almost 18!!!!

I'm 19 and since I turned 18 I just laughed at anything they tried to tell me. My suggestion is to stick it out until youre old enough to do what you want. As far as ur bf. I would sneak him in the house when your dad is at work. You should explain the situationt to your bf and hopefully he'll understand and you guys can work your way around it.

as far as him being a hypocrite it's just because your his daughter and he doesnt want you grow up. . .all dads do it (at least most) on the bright side next year at this time you will be able to look back on this and laugh.  feel better

Answer 6

my parents divorced around the same time only it was the other way around for me. I spend Sunday with my dad and lived with my mom who's strict and my dad didn't care what i did.

Legally, since you're 17 you only have one year left till the parent custody thing is over with.

Tell your dad how you feel then; when you're 18.

Or find some way, with your mom, to try to get your time with your dad down some maybe just a week every month.

That's about all I can think of.

He knows you're growing up and it doesn't help that he's going through his own midlife crisis. I'm sure you growing up scares him so he's trying to keep you younger in his mind by not letting you do anything.

Answer 7

After you calm down and return back to your mom, maybe you can talk to her and your step father about cutting back on the visits. I think your dad cares about you a lot or he would just let you run wild. I think your dad has had a mid life crisis with the young lady. Have you tried talking to him about your feelings. If he won't listen, maybe you could write him a letter and leave it where he will find it after you go home. Be sure to ask him to call you so that you can talk as adults about these issues because they really bother you.

Answer 8

Umm, well as for the fact that he's dating a Med student, she's overage and so is he and a Med student can be almost 30 or older.  You're underage and that guy is 21, which means he's overage.  There is a difference, whether you can see it or not.

And you may think that 'no one else would be' grounded for what you did, but you would probably be wrong unless all your friends have parents without spines.

I'm sorry, but the fact that you're 17, in the top 10 of your class and a cheerleader aren't credentials saying that you are an ADULT and old enough to make your own decisions.

Get over it honey, you're still a kid.  And you will be for a long time yet to come if you don't wake up and realize that you don't rule the roost.  

Curfews are meant for kids to be protected from getting into trouble.  Him not wanting you to date a guy that can buy alcohol and is 4 years over age is not being a hypocrite, it's called parenting.  You getting grounded is something that comes from- you guessed it- doing something that you weren't supposed to do.

I'm sorry but you are being immature.  Get over it, deal or whatever you have to do, but don't bash your dad because he's acting like a parent.