My dad is an alcoholic what should i do?

Question

my dad is an alcoholic but when i was born untill i was about 5 my dad was allways good to me he allways took me to the shop and other places wether he was drunk or not he used to hit my mum but hes never hit me or my little brother in my life he was very fond of us so maany people say my mom married another hunsdban and he was crabbit with us and not very nice we had a sister with him we love her as much as i love my brother but the question is do you think i should write to my father ive not seen him since i was 5 and iam sixteen my mum even told me my dad loves me and my brother and has picture of us in his house do you think i should get in touch with my father even tho hes an alcoholic?

Answer 1

Being an alcoholic doesn't make him poison. There are two difficult but joined sides to him, he's an alcoholic but he's also your father. It IS possible to love him but not his addiction to drinking and violent side that comes out with it. Your friends probably do things that you don't exactly like, support, or want to do yourself. There are still several other things about your friends that you DO like so you probably just hang out with them at those times and let them do those things that bother you with other people who like it too.

If you feel ready to communicate with him and build some sort of relationship with him but still protect yourself from any harmful situations that could be possible, talk to him. You don't have to suddenly start spending the weekend at his home and then summers at the lake house with him; start slow: talk to him on the phone (or write a letter), meet him for a meal, go to a sports game. Build up until you feel comfortable. If you even feel wierd calling him "dad" just avoid it, instead of saying "Hi Dad!" say "Hi!"

Don't let anyone guilt you into getting in-touch with your father, you have a perfect reason to say "I don't want to speak to my dad." No one has the right to say "You're terrible, you don't talk to your own father?!" Those people are not in your situation, they don't know your full story, and they don't have your life. Maybe make it clear to your father if you do decide to speak to him that you only intend to meet and be with him if he can promise to be sober with you. That's not you saying "STOP DRINKING!" He's an alcoholic and that would be like telling a crack addict or smoker to stop; it takes time and it will most likely take several trials and errors to get it right. (If he even wants to try to stop.) All you are asking is that he doesn't drink around you. It might help if you were to meet him earlier in the day or afternoon because most alcoholics start their heavy drinking later in the afternoon.

Maybe tell him, he is your father, you do care about him; but you are also old enough to know that you must take care of yourself first and you are trying to do just that. Let him know you love him but don't support his drinking. It might do a lot, it might do a little, and the worst scenario is that it might do absolutely nothing. He might just ignore you asking him to be sober when talking to him and go right on ahead drinking and if that's the case you have to figure out if you can handle that if so, how.

Good luck.

(Sorry that was so long.)

Answer 2

anyone who is an alcoholic has an illness, but will help we all get better. It's hard on the family cause they get to see what over drinking dose to them. The person doing the drinking has no idea what there doing at times. I have stop drinking but I lost a lot in my life, this has made me go to meeting for alcoholic that showed me what I was doing to myself and my love ones. Your older now and I would try to take to him about it. I will make you a better person for trying to help him now. It's not an over night change so keep this in mined when you meet up with him. I was bad so if I can change He will to he is going to need all your love and understanding. See if you can get him to a meeting and stay there will him. This is the hardest time, it hard for us to see we need help. Best of luck God will help one step at a time.

Answer 3

of course u should contact him he's ur father alcoholic or not...im sure it would mean a lot for him

Answer 4

Yes, at least a phone call to him.

Answer 5

alcoholic or not hes still ur father he still loves u right? yes he does

you should call talk to him get intouch talk bout school hes your dad i mean he missed 11 years of ur life of course u should call him i think hemissses u alot and who knows 11 years maybe he changed call him

good luck :]

Answer 6

I think that if your heart tells you too look for your dad do it. Remember we are no one to judge are own parents. No matter what he is your dad okay. Probably you could help him.

Do what ever it makes you happy don't stay with what if just do it.

Good luck!!!!

Answer 7

Al non...family support group for family members who have an alcoholic in their family..they really do help and support you

Answer 8

i would steal all his alcohol