My dad is mad that i'm pregnant?

Question

I just found out that i am pregnant a few days ago and my HUSBAND and I are so excited..We have been married for a year and we have been trying to concieve for 2 months. We live in a beautiful 2 bedroom 2 bath apartment and we have two cars and few bills on our hands. I told my dad that I was pregnant and HE was mad, because we supposedly aren't on "our feet" and we have bills to get caught up on..It hurt my feelings so bad that just for once he would be happy for me...It seems like I can never do anything right for this man and now he's not even happy he will be a grandfather. How would you feel? And would you continue to talk to him? What would you do..I need some opinions and thoughts because I'm really hurt that he feels this way. By the way I am a nurse and my husband manages a buisness..so we make plenty of money to care for a baby. My husband is 28 and i'm 21..I'd appreciate anyones input greatly

Answer 1

Honey, I applaud you and I am proud of you, and I don't even know you.  Some people just don't realize how the things that come out of their mouths affect those around them.

I just read an article in Reader's Digest by Steve Martin.  He never felt his dad was proud of him because all his dad did was criticize.  As his dad was on his deathbed, they discussed it and it was all because Steve was getting to do what dad had wanted to do, so he knocked him down about it.  AND, said he loved him for the first time.

Your dad may just be jealous.

Sorry.

Answer 2

Stop trying to make or expect your dad happy. This is your life, and if you and your husband are happy about where you are in life and your pregnancy, then that is all that really matters.

I understand you wish he would be happy and supportive. But you've pointed out that you wish "for once" he would be happy...honestly, with a past history like that why would you expect things to be any different here?

I wouldn't totally break off contact with him, but I would give up on the expectation that he could be happy about anything that makes you happy.

Answer 3

My family was upset with 2 of my pregnancies (been married 21 years now) and it upset me and hurt my feelings.

I kept in contact woth my Mom and others regardless because after the initial shock they were okay with it and they always loved my kids once they were here

If your Dad doesn't change his thinking I would not blame you for not speaking to him. If you think he will accept it and be happy in time then just give it a little cooling period

Answer 4

As I'm sure you're going to discover, parents just can't switch off no matter how old their kid gets. Why not try talking again to your dad telling him that you feel you're in a good position to start a family but you really need his emotional support especially now. Tell him that his happiness will make your happiness complete and hopefully he'll come around. Good luck!

Answer 5

Congratulations! You don't have to be concerned about what he thinks ! You should be happy right now. You are married and have a solid relationship, you are fine. Good Luck.

Answer 6

Who cares? My parents were pissed when my husband and I got pregnant too. But two days later my mother was already picking out onsies, Give it time, he'll come around.

Answer 7

If you and your husband can support yourselves, and don't rely on your father for money, it's really none of his business if you are having a baby.

If you see that you can't ever make him happy, then why are you still worrying about him being mad?

Those type of people, even if they happen to be your own parents, will never be happy with what you do.

The stress your father is causing you isn't good for you, especially now that you are pregnant.

Stop worry about what your father thinks.

Answer 8

When I told my dad that I was pregnant with my first child he yelled at me. He asked me if "when god passed out brains did you think he said trains and let it pass on by?" I was devastated. I cried so hard. I was 22 years old and had finished college. I am the youngest of 6 kids and I was unmarried. All of my siblings had kids and not one of them were married when they got pregnant or got their gf pregnant. I was so hurt by this especially cause my dad was dying. He eventually grew to accept my pregnancy but unfortunately he passed away a month and a half before my son was born. Your dad will come to terms with your pregnancy and fall in love with your baby. Please don't stop talking to him cause you don't know how long he will be around. I miss my dad so much and I think all the time about how he never got to meet my children. I have 3 beautiful kids now and mine are the only grandchildren that he didn't get to meet. Life is too short to hold a grudge.

(I ended up naming my son after him, His name was Raymond Joseph, my son is Joseph Raymond. Plus my girls have Ray in their middle names too.)

Answer 9

Since he seems to have a history of not being happy for you, this should not come as a great surprise.  Understandably, you are hurt, but you and your husband are independent adults.  You may wish to avoid him since he makes you feel bad,  but don't cut off communication.  He may eventually come around.

Answer 10

well ... i don't know more about you .. but i think that you are the youngest maybe among your family if you have any other sisters and brothers ... and he feel that a baby is going to take you away from him .. some how .. now you will be more far .. etc .. well they try to put it in another way but don't worry i am sure he will support you and he will be the first one to be waitting in the delievery room when the time comes ... it is just a father thing :D .. and you say your financial situiation is good .. so don't worry ... and ya keep talking to him .. don't show him that this thing will come bbetween u two .. or it might end in a very unwanted ending ...  

Answer 11

Parents can be silly sometimes. I am 29 pregnant with my second child, married and generally doing great but my family was not happy, God knows why lol.

He will come around to it. I meen he is going to be a Grandpa!! Thats a good thing. Just give him some time little momma = )

Answer 12

Girl, so is my dad.

The only difference between us is that you have a home and bills and you are on your feet.

I am 17, living with my mom and trying my best to stick with college.

My dad has two other children with his new wife (4 and 9 months) and he takes no interest in being a grandfather.

He said "I have young children of my own, I'll probably never see your child anyways." =[

It mad me so sad.

You are well of and your dad should be proud of you and your husband.

Congrats!!!

Answer 13

At the end of the day, you are your husband are the parents to this baby, not your dad. It must really hurt for your dad to feel that way; could you try sitting him down and talking to him about it? If not, just focus on your baby and get anyone else in your family and friends who is happy for you involved.  

Answer 14

Something else is going on with your Dad.   Tell him that you are hurt by his reaction and ask him what is wrong.  Open up the lines of communication and maybe he'll reveal what the real problem is.  Good luck