My dad refuses to wear a waistcoat and cravat to my upcoming wedding. Any suggestions?

Question

My dad has paid for deposits etc, has bought my dress and is paying for the food.

I feel I shouldn't question his judgement as he's forked out enough money aleady...I'm thinking crying is the only way....plus bribery

Answer 1

What does he want to wear instead?  If it's that important for him to give you away and for him to be there.......you may have to give in and let him wear what he wants to.

It's a shame he can't give up his comfort for an important day in his daughter's life.  

Good luck in any event.

Answer 2

No offense but, where are you renting the formal wear? I can't imagine a professional not having multiple alternatives and suggestions. Crying and bribery are childish and manipulative. Asking someone who is uncomfortable in formal attire to suffer through 9 hours in it is just plain unreasonable. I hate wearing a tie, but I DJ weddings every weekend. Unless the bride insists on the wing collar and bow tie, I usually wear a mandarin collar with an opal stud. It looks very elegant and avoids feeling like I'm choking to death for 5 or 6 hours.

Alternatively, stop thinking about keeping the stuff on for 9 hours and tell Dad he only has to wear a 'monkey suit' for a few minutes during the procession and pictures. I can't begin to imagine ANYONE being willing to endure formal clothes for 9 hours, let alone a ceremony and photo session that could possibly last that long. LOL, will your reception last three days?

Answer 3

Hey! Congrats on the engagement :D

I think that you should just talk to him & let him how much you would like him to wear it...REALLY, whether he has to wear it for 9 hours or not, it's YOUR wedding (something girls dream about for WHAT? their ENTIRE lives!!!) so he should really try and do what you want for YOUR wedding. : / if that fails then tell him that you're willing to compromise, and mayeb you could figure out a way for him just to wear it during the actual wedding & not the reception or the other way around....but I think on his part it would be the right thing to do to make his little girls wedding amazing by just doing what you ask :)

Answer 4

cry.  

Answer 5

Repeat this to him:

"Dad, I'll be given away by a handsome man who is wearing what the rest of the wedding party is wearing. If you would like to be that handsome man, please go get fitted. If not, I'll hire someone to give me away who WILL dress appropriately, and you can wear bowling pants, for all I care."

-Stuart

Answer 6

1.  Promise him he'd need wear it for as short a time as possible, and he's free to change out of it  as soon as the formalities are over.

2. If that doesn't work, free him of the obligation.

It's really not that big a deal. I'd be loathe to "force" something upon anyone for the sake of formality and tradition.

If he'd "condescend" to wear suit and tie and look otherwise presentable, that should suffice.

Answer 7

At least you have a father who loves you to give you away. Not everyone has that. I just had the men at my wedding wear their own dark suits because my husband was uncomfortable in the morning suit with ascot which would have been more strictly proper for our daytime wedding.

Why don't you care about his comfort? Is it really that big of a deal? What would be the tragedy if you compromised and had him get a tasteful dark suit and tie to match the wedding party women? Since the father of the groom won't be wearing one, he really does not have to match the groom, best man and son.

Honestly, ask yourself why you feel the need to control what your father, who is a guest and not strictly in the wedding party, wears. Do insist he dress in clothes proper for the formality of your wedding and maybe suggest a tie in a certain color, but to insist he wear the getup you've chosen for the groom is too much to ask.

Be happy your father is alive, loves you and is in your life and stop being a controlling bridezilla.

ETA: I have never had father issues in my life. I had my wonderful father give me away at my wedding in a lovely dark suit as I said.

I just think before you cry or bribe or otherwise become manipulative, you should consider what your relationship with your dad means to you and if you're willing to strain it or disappoint him with your controlling attitude.

Just let him wear what he wants within reason. He's not in the wedding party so he does not have to be matchy matchy with the groom.

Answer 8

I grew up an orphan, without parents.

So I beg you. Do nothing to hurt your relationship,

between Father and Daughter, Please. <}:-})  

Answer 9

Only 9 hours? That's like saying "you should pin your hair up, it's only 9 hours", and my hair being down is one of the few things I plan on being stubborn about at my wedding. (Pain makes me cranky)

Why does he need to wear a waistcoat? Any formal wear should be appropriate. Do you really want him to be uncomfortable just so you can have a certain look at your day?

Answer 10

if i were you i would let it go--i bet no one even notices!