My dad says boys and girls are different? Are they when it comes to this?

Question

Okay so my dad will literally let my brother do anything. I am older than him, we are in the same grade we are 11 months apart. So he gets to stay the night with his girlfriend and gets total freedom. But as soon as I ask to like stay overnight with my boyfriend he says No! Or like my brother can walk alone at all hours of the night but I can't. And my dad gets mad to see me make out and stuff, but doesn't my brother. He always replys girls are different than boys. Like my dad got really mad because me and my brothers friends were playing truth or dare and I got asked to give a guy a bj. Well he found out and freaked on me, but my dad has walked in on my brother and his girlfriend?

So my question is why does he say that, and are boys and girls really different to the point of this?

Answer 1

Your dad is giving double standards and it's not right.  Some parents see guys as being strong and independant and girls are weak and emotional.  Your brother could just as easily be hit by a car in the dark, get his gf pg or get an STD just as easily as you could.  It's a shame your dad is doing this and causing conflict between you and your brother but I'm not sure what you can do except talk with him.

Answer 2

Your father is way too permissive with your brother. He still believes in the old "boys will be boys" thing. Exactly what does he plan to do when your brother has to tell him that he got his girlfriend pregnant and has to go get a job now because he has to pay support? I'm sorry, but your father is an idiot.

Answer 3

Its a double standard is what it is.  Guys are supposed to be out having s*x, while girls are supposed to be at home in proper dresses with their legs crossed doing the house work.  Your father is either older of brought up be very very old fashioned people.

On the bright side (if you can call it that) he probably doesnt think much of your brothers girl friend.

Answer 4

dads are like sometimes over protective of their daughters, i'm 22 and my dad still thinks he needs to protect me.

Answer 5

Girls get hurt a lot more by relationships and s*x then men do. Women put everything in their heart guys most of the time just want s*x. He just doesn't want you to get hurt. It's simple

Answer 6

Dads are always sensitive when it comes to their "little girl" dating....but they egg on the guys.... The only difference is he feels he has to be more protective of you. I dont think girls and boys are different in this way except for the fact that girls are more emotional. But you should tell your dad about your brother's girlfriend because shes a girl and if she can stay out @ night with your brother than you should too....

(If you can secretely ask your mom to go out because she'll probably let you if you prove that you're responsible and mature)

Answer 7

it's a double standard, back to the old guys who have s*x are studs and girls who do are s***s.  WRONG WRONG WRONG.

Answer 8

Yes, they are. How many guys do you hear about getting abducted and raped? Not as many as girls. Your father is just trying to protect you. And the fact that you compare yourself to your brother shows that you aren't more mature. But the fact that your dad lets your brother do those things in the first place is showing him how to be disrespectful of women.

Answer 9

i heard this all the time from my dad.....i'm 31 and my dad wouldn't let me and my fiance sleep in the same bed at his house yet my 24 year old brother is always allowed to bring girls over.

it's not equal and it will never be. parents feel that men are more able to take care of themselves and that girls need to be nurtured and protected more.

you're dealing with a social phenomenon that goes back to the beginning of man.

Answer 10

If you actually gave that guy a BJ, then your dad is right to be worried, cause you have no common sense!!

Answer 11

How old are you and why are you and your brother having s*x? And where are this girls parents that are allowing your brother to spend the night? Girls are different, maybe your father doesn't want you to end up a w***e, boys don't get a reputation as a w***e or s**t, it's the girls.  No man wants to marry a girl that has slept with the whole town. s*x is something special between a man and woman that are committed to each other for life, not just something you give out to anyone.  Have you thought about the consequences...disease, an unwanted pregnancy? Why would you put some boys filthy p***s in your mouth?

Answer 12

Well it seems like he's trying to protect you, he probably doesnt want you to get pregnant and i know he should worry about his son too but if you got pregnant the chances of that guy sticking around is slim and if your brother got a girl pregnant, then your dad probably make sticka around. Idk there could be many reason why he does that. It was the same for me, i could have my gf stay over but my sister couldn't have any guys stay over.

Answer 13

I think it's great that he tries to protect you this much.  Honestly, he is doing you a favor in a way to keep you from doing things that would be disrespectful to yourself and your body.  

The fact that he allows your brother to do whatever he wants shows that he doesn't think your brother can be hurt by having casual encounters - which is so untrue.  Your dad is disrespecting your brother by not enforcing some rules and requiring him to respect himself and respect women and relationships.

Answer 14

I'm a dad, and girls are different.  However, he isn't doing your brother any good.  He should be training your brother to be gentleman instead of a dog.  

But, some differences are fair.  Your example of walking alone after dark is one.  In a perfect world, you could do so.  However, this is not a perfect world.  Men will target you because you're a girl.  You can be raped, beaten, or robbed for no other reason.  

Another example is the one about the BJ.  I would beat the boy to death.  I would only beat you to a pulp.  

Next time, ask your father why he has such low standard for your brothers behavior instead of why he has such high standards for your behavior.