My dad takes my social security check every month?

Question

Okay, well lemme start off by saying that since my mom is disabled, she gets a $465 a month social security check. I've been living with my dad for the past year, so now he gets it. It's supposed to be spent on me, which I guess it partially is. But I know there's no way that I rack up $465 a month in bills, being that I pay for pretty much everything of my own, besides food & rent; actually, I usually pay for my own food, too. And now that I'm 18, it comes in my name, and he can't cash it- only I can.

Now I could REALLY use that money to start saving for an apartment of my own, car repairs, etc etc. I've talked to him about keeping it, and paying him rent, buying all my own necessities and all, but he just refuses, and threatens to keep the checks so that nobody can cash them if I don't give him the money.

He's so d**n controlling, it's really pissing me off. I'd move out, but I NEED that money to start saving up so I actually can move out. I realize that I live in his house with his rules, but GOD d**n. that doesn't give him any right to take my money.

Any suggestions about what to do about this? :[

Answer 1

Where could  you rent for $465 a month? I dont get my social security check. Trust me, no matter how much you are paying, he is paying more. Legally, he has to give you the checks though.

Answer 2

Well, morally, he should not be taking your checks.  However, you need to understand just how expensive things are.  If it was me, I'd try to talk to him about a budget.  Get him to explain to you exactly how much he has to pay out in bills etc (and I'm very sure that it'll be a lot more than you realise), then pay him a fair share towards those bills.  I'm a single mother of two teenagers and if you want something to compare it to (I'm in Australia though) - my WEEKLY outgoings amount to $800 on food, accommodation and bills - and that's before I even start on entertainment and paying car insurance etc etc etc.  He may be having trouble meeting his obligations financially, and maybe that's why he's being so difficult, but morally what he's doing is wrong.

Answer 3

Yeah, you're right, he can't take the money.  If the checks come in your name then you ultimately have control.  Threatening you for your money stinks.  Would he be willing to sit down with you and work out a monthly budget so that he can show you where the $465 goes in terms of rent and utilities?  Maybe if he could show you how he's spending it then things wouldn't feel so suckish.

I take that back.  Anyone who is threatening you and threatening to steal your money if you don't give it to him isn't a very good guy.  You need to start looking around for a different living arrangement.  Do you have other relatives or friends where you could stay for a few months?

Or how about getting a PO box and having the check sent there so that it never gets into your father's hands.  You could even tell him that now that you're 18 the checks have stopped coming.  Of course that is a lie and lying is never a good choice....

Answer 4

If you want to keep the check, you should move out and be responsible for yourself. As long as he's paying the bills, he has a reason to take the money. And there are a lot more expenses than food and rent. What about electricity; natural gas; cable tv; telephone; cleaning materials; hand and dish soaps; etc, etc, etc.

You might want to sit down and talk to your Dad about this. Maybe you can cut a deal whereby you keep a percentage of the check (say, maybe 25%) and give the rest to him. Like I said, the only other alternative is to move out, and you can't do that on $465 a month.