My dad treats me like a chilld

Question

I know i am only 16 (nearly 17) but i feel my dad will always treat me like im 6. I have a boyfriend and i love him. He always says bad things about him and saying i hope you dont love him, your only 16. Always saying bad things about us. I had a little love bite and i told him i was sorry but he screamed at me saying i was scruffy and that my boyfriend shudnt have done it and we wont last cos were only young and dont know what love or a relationship is. I have tried telling him that i dont want to be treated like that. I am old enough to know what love is and i can feel how i wantt to feel. I just wish he could be proud and happy for me. What can i do

Answer 1

You're only 16, you ARE a child

You do not love your boyfriend, you just fancy him.

I'm sorry to tell you this but its the truth your dad is only looking after you.  

Answer 2

Ah, teenage hormones.  I remember those.  These things can be difficult, but your father is probably trying to look out for your best interest.  Teenage years can be some of the funnest.  Plenty to discover, especially in the area of love.  

On the other hand, the teen years account for less than 10 percent of the average person's lifetime nowadays.  Though it is important to have fun (you'll regret it otherwise), it is also important to keep your eyes on future goals.  Perhaps you haven't set any goals for the future, and that's okay too, but make sure you are preparing for an array of options you may want to entertain later (including in the areas of love).  

The only thing to do here is to talk it over with your father in the tone of you trying to understand what he is seeing.  He (like me) has already lived through it from the eyes of a teenage guy and knows what generally (and it's very uniform) goes through guys' minds.  Find out why he doesn't like this particular guy and see if you can understand from his viewpoint.  If his view is in fact irrational, he may see that as he is explaining it.  If it's not, you may see that if you seriously try to understand him.  

If you seriously consider what he says (whether you agree or not in the end), he may see that you are not acting childish and treat you accordingly.  That, is the defining moment of a person growing up, when they stop acting childish.  Of course, it may take more than one act of acting mature for him to acknowledge your behavior; mixing immature behavior will only nullify the effect.  

Answer 3

Hate to say it, but he is right.  You are young and you are too young to be in love with one boy.  Go out, have fun, live the life of a young person instead of trying to be so adult.  Be a kid while you can.  And yes love bites are disgusting.  They make people look like s***s.  Its like putting a sign around your neck "hey I made out with my boyfriend". who cares. Keep it private, where it should be.  But anyway, go have a young life. Live it to the fullest while you can. I can't understand why teens want to become adults so fast. It really isn't all that fun, believe me. And we dont think hickeys come from having s*x.  We arent as dumb as you think we are. We were teens once too and most of us have had hickeys also.  We know what is out in the world and we know what is in store for you.  so listen to your dad.

Answer 4

Your dad is just looking out for you.  He doesn't want you to wind up pregnant, he doesn't want to see this relationship go sour and watch his daughter get hurt.  He worries about what people will think of you when you are walking around with a hickey.  

He is not treating you like a child, he is treating you like his daughter.  Try to see it from his point of view and remember that he was young once, too.  He went through this stuff, too.  It is hard to accept that maybe your parents could be right in these situations but you have to remember that they are seeing a lot of the stuff you are doing and it is basically like they are looking back at themselves as teenagers.  He is just telling you what he wishes someone would have told him at your age, even if he is not doing it in the nicest way.

Answer 5

He sees that his little girl is all grown up. I'm sixteen so I know how you feel. I think you messed up when he saw the "love bites". it is hard for a parent, esp. a dad to see those things on his daughter. You should reassure him things that you want to wait until you are married or something so that he could see that you are responsible and safe.

Answer 6

dads don't take things like that well

i'm almost in the same situation, sucks right?

Answer 7

he is your father he will always look out for you just keep things

more to your self not everything ok plus your a girl its harder to let go but he will little by little the older you get. just put up with it and you will make it not everything your father is saying is wrong. but be care-full if you need help go to him he might get mad but he will always help you.  

Answer 8

Ur not alone dude!!! Just tell him exactly that. N dat ur growin up and eventually u wont need him as much...

Answer 9

yeah he might be angry about the hickey. your dad took it way more rational than my dad would! and im 18! just tell your bf not to give you those anymore because older people and parents think you only get hickeys from having s*x! ( assuming that you werent having s*x when he gave you that ) just try talking to him and tellin him your responsible..or just dont talk that much about your boyfriend and how much you "love" him. in his eyes his little girl is growing up to fast. all dads feel this way. just be careful and good luck xo

Answer 10

I'm not a dad or a man, but I know that dad's have the hardest time letting their kids grow up. He loves you, you're his little girl. He doesn't want to give that up. Not only that, but he probably feels incredibly old, and men nor women like to feel old. But bottom line, respect your dad and what he's trying to do for you, he just doesn't want to let go.

Not only that, but he's trying to protect you, it's a hard world out there, and so many things can happen.

Answer 11

lol ill try 2 prove him wrong or talk 2 him about it mayb u can change his mind

he prob hatin newayz

Answer 12

Hey you!  I'm sorry you feel your dad is treating you like a child, im 41 and do the same with my daughter, I know she isnt a baby as your dad probably does in your case, but as your parent we tend to always think of you as something we must protect whether you are 18 or indeed 41, a parent will always be a parent.  Someday you will unknowingly torture your own child in this way (wink wink).  I do believe your feelings for your boyfriend are very real and he should acknowledge that too. Often relationships dont last at your age, I personally dont mind lovebites, maybe wear a polo neck or scarf if they bother ur dad.  Be smart use condoms and other protection if you plan to go further and enjoy your relationship, however misplaced your dads words and actions are ..he means well!  You are not scruffy, if you think having another talk with your dad will help go ahead and tell him hes making you unhappy saying these things.  Enjoy being in love! dont feel bad, good luck.

Answer 13

You have told your dad that you are mature enough, but you need to find some way of proving to him that you are mature enough to be in love.

I don't want to insult your dad, but it sounds like he doesn't have any respect for you at all.

Has your dad met your boyfriend?  Mabey that would help.

Good luck.

Answer 14

You may be 16 nearly 17 but I m sorry to tell you you may know what you feel but you know nothing about life. My dad raised my sister and I alone only him nobody else. He was rough on us like your dad sounds, I don't think it is right for him to be completely negative to you but it is right for him to protect you and keep you safe. You ever think he knows something about your boyfreind that you dont? Or the fact that your dad was that age once too and he knows what he is thinking. Give him a little more credit than what you are and think on both sides, not a selfish little 16 nearly 17 yr old that thinks she know it all. Maybe if you start acting your age he may start treating you your age...

Answer 15

I though i know what love was too when i was your age, now im 19 and im old enough to know that i don't know.

High school is a great time for friends, even relationships but you need to experience the real world before you can even begin to define what love means to you.

That said (i know your probably stubborn, i was to so i wont push the love debate) your dad is just lookign out for you. Put yourself in his shoes, his little girl is growing up and he is loosing control and influence. Just make it clear that you want to be treated older but be nice about it.

In reality you have little control of the situation, you could always just be sneeky about everything or just try to be nice and reason with him.

Answer 16

Thats just fathers for you. My dad was the same way! Dont worry. He will realize soon that you are growing up =)

Answer 17

If I were you I'd play by your father's rules until you move out.  You are too young to be dating and you should be focusing on school.

Just be thankful your father hasn't grounded you until you are 18 because you would be if you were my daughter.

Answer 18

listen to your dad he knows what is best for you

Answer 19

Stivck it 2 the man!!!11 u go girl i had step dad who serous didnt understand and i am now president of my art cokmpanhy so ther

Answer 20

Honey, you're his baby girl. He doesn't want to see hickies cos he'll think that his baby is having s*x and stuff. Have a chat with him, just explain that you're smart and you're not going to do anything dumb. Let him treat you like his little girl for a day one last time... I bet he'll appreciate it.

Answer 21

He just doesn't want you getting pregnant!  lol

Answer 22

Sit down and talk calmly with him, explain your corner, and prove that you can act like an adult

Answer 23

I don't know what you mean by a little love bite but if your talking about s*x then you need to stay away from that. Just hang out with your boyfriend and don't give your father anything to be mad about. When you get done with school and move out, then that's the time to start a serious relationship with a boy.  

Answer 24

You'll understand how right he is when you get pregnant at 16 and have a no support from the father. Don't  let it get that far, that's all he's trying to say,

Answer 25

Listen to him.

They say love is blind, and really that is so true. Not in the sense that it doesn't matter when you love someone, more like the sense that it makes you blind to the problems.

Odds are he can tell (even more so because men can size up men), that he is not good news. I personally have always been a good boy, good student, all throughout my life, and every father liked me and thought i was good for their daughter. He wants you happy and if the boy was good then i'm sure he wouldn't mind. I would ask your friends what they really think about him. And the hardest thing to do is to listen to everyone.

Whenever i dated a girl, i always told them to ask our mutual friends, her friends, and my friends what kind of guy i am, and to listen to them. If they said i was a jerk / player or anything like that, then she shouldn't date me. And most of them asked around and found out i wasn't bad. But ask your friends and actually take their advise, as they look after your best interests when you are too dumb to do it yourself.

Answer 26

Sorry Kiddo but no Dad is going to be happy for their 16 year old. It just doesn't work that way. The best thing to do is to be smart and discreet. I am not saying to sneek around, but just don't get showable hickeys and have s*x let alone unprotected s*x.It  is not always this way but I do agree that teens are not fully aware what love or relationships are, what you may be feeling is lust and infatuation.

Don't seek your Dads approval because it just isn't going to happen, be smart and show your Dad thru responsiblity and maturity that you are old enough to handle this and he is going to have to respect your decisions.  

Answer 27

If your boyfriend is a "grown up" and does love you then he should say hello and try to get to know your Dad and tell him to his face that he loves you.

Remember you are his little girl and nothing will change that and you should be happy that he is a bit over protective and in a few years maybe you will thank him for it.

Have you tried talking to him rather than shouting at him or just saying you love this boy and proberly walking off in a tantrum.

If you and your boyfriend are truelly in love then you will get past it and your dad will come round, if he doesnt then maybe this guy isnt the the love you thought as most dads to tend to come around there daughters relationships unless there is something really annoying about this boy.

Answer 28

You are his child and that's why he's treating you like one. He's just looking out for you.

Honestly, you are really young and chances are lasting really long with that boyfriend of yours are slim. Just realize that teenagers are hard for adults to deal with especially if you care about them a lot.

Answer 29

ignore him. dont run away. just go and listen to him. i know it feels like you love him, im sure ya do, but you need a break and listen to ur dad. he only means whats best for you

Answer 30

my younger brother acts like my dad. It's humiliating. Just tell him you aren't a little girl anymore and soon you'll be moving out etc. etc. then ask him if you can be treat like an adult.

Answer 31

who cares what he thinks