My dad visits and sits in silence for hours wanting conversation to be made, any advice?

Question

I love my dad, he is a good man. But he will visit our home and sit in silence with my partner happily for hours. This does not bother me when my dad and I are alone as I know it is not uncomfortable. When my partner is there or anybody else, he will sit in silence and expect conversation to come from us. he will sulk if we dont and it makes me feel anxious as I feel exhausted putting on s show and thinking of conversations for us all to talk about. My dad is 69 and likes my partner but he has always expected entertaining as my mum did it all their marriage. any advice?

Answer 1

that sounds tough. you should try keeping him busy with activities. :S Hope that helps probably doesn't, but good luck

Answer 2

Thank goodness for tv.  Put it on!!!!

Answer 3

Go on tirades about 69 year old people who sulk because someone won't start a conversation with them. Ask him what does he think of that?  

Answer 4

What's the problem?  Your dad sounds a lot like me.  He isn't going to change, so why not start the conversations?  He has social anxiety.  Be a good daughter and keep the entertainment going as long as he is alive.

Answer 5

There is no rule saying you have to invite him. You need to space out visits so they dont put this drain on you so often

Answer 6

you should start like monopoly or charades or something and that will get everyone in the mood; or talk to him when you two are alone about it

Answer 7

sounds like your mum is no longer around. if so i am sorry about that. it sounds as if he is just bored and needs attention. is he in good health? maybe he can work or find a volunteer job somewhere in his interest. discussing the news and current events can help or he can help you out around the house. sometimes people don't know how to get a convo started. i hope this helps.

Answer 8

You don't have to entertain a family member who comes to visit for hours.  Sulking doesn't mean that you have to do anything different.

You may even be mistaken.  How do you tell the difference between being quiet and sulking?  Maybe you are too worried.

Just be natural and stop trying to entertain.  He may be quite comfortable just being there with you.

Answer 9

Usually a good meal and maybe a glass of wine with it(if he drinks) will loosen the tongue and make for good conversation.  Dessert and coffee/tea definitely would help conversation.  Then like others said, maybe playing a game would help.

Answer 10

Sounds like there needs to be some shared interests developed.  If he is there a lot, maybe he needs to find some other people to hang with sometimes, too.  Of course you all want to share time together but for him to depend on you for all his entertainment is not appropriate.  It will wear all of you out.  Don't be fooled, old dogs can learn new tricks if they want to.