My daughter's kindergarten teacher told me that she recommends that I have her repeat Kindergarten next year

Question

I am worried that my child will either get bored if she does, or feel bad about herself. The teacher says that as far as the actual work goes, my child is doing fine, but says that she is very worried about her ability to follow directions well and that my child seems to be kind of immature. The thing is, I know that sometimes she doesn't follow directions because she just doesn't choose to, others it is that she doesn't understand. My child is also really intuitive- I feel like she would understand that her classmates were going on to first grade and that she wasn't, and that she would feel badly about herself. But, I also don't want her to go to first grade and be unable to cope, because I know that would hurt her also...

Answer 1

HUMMMM

Well, My son repeated the kindergarten as they suggested, and repeated second grade as they "suggested".

He finished college last year and now is a police officer.

I had to get him tutored all the way through school, he just hated school work so bad bless his heart.

When he hit college it finally all sunk in.   Finally.

He loves his job of 5 years now.  But always hated school

Answer 2

THE TEACHER SEES HER MORE ON AN EDUCATIONAL SIDE...YOU DO NOT SEE THAT PART...SURE SHE IS PROBABLY WONDERFUL AND ITELLIGENT BUT SOMETIMES THE TEACHER WILL SEE THINGS THAT YOU NEVER NOTICE OR HAVE NEVER WITNESSED WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. IF THE TEACHER FEELS IT IS BEST THEN MAYBE THAT SHOULD BE DONE... IT IS SAD BUT DO NOT FEEL BAD FOR HER.... ONCE SHE GETS INTO SCHOOL AFTER SUMMERTIME SHE WILL FORGET ALL ABOUT BEING HELD BACK AND SHE WILL NOT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHY THE OTHER KIDS ARE IN ANOTHER CLASS... DO NOT WORRY SHE WILL BE FINE.

Answer 3

All you can do is work on her behavior.  I disagree with the other posts who say, "don't listen to the teacher."

While academically your daughter is smart, she has problems following directions.

In 1st grade, kids begin working independently.  The teacher will normally give kids an individual task while they are working one on one with students or groups.

If your daughter doesn't listen, it eventually will affect her academics.   If she's not listening, she'll start missing important key elements and assignments.

The teacher has right to be concerned.  This behavior can cause her to fall behind academically.

I would suggest working with the teacher on improving her behavior.  You need to emphasize the importance of listening in school.

Perhaps have the teacher report back your child's daily behavior.  If she has a day where she does not listen,  when you get home, take a toy away or something.

She'll start to see a correlation between her behavior at school and the privileges she gets at home.   She'll start to take accountability for her actions and behaviors at school.

Answer 4

I think the teacher is doing her best to not let your child be put in a position of failing and getting behind.  Socialization is only one aspect of school.  The most important thing for her to learn is good study habits, how to follow instructions regardless of her personal feelings, and to develop the mentallity of an achiever, not someone who slides by or is excused because she doesn't want to do something.  This little girl is going to have to take care of herself one day and you will not always be there to watch out for her.   Habits formed in her young years will help her to make good decisions for herself later on and hopefully become a happy well adjusted successful individual.  Maybe you could work at home with her to help her understand why she needs to pay attention and get her work done at a certain time - like the chores she should be expected to complete at home (picking up after herself/cleaning a room within a certain amount of time).  She has to begin to learn to take responsibility for her actions.

Answer 5

My husband was held back in 3rd grade because of the same reasoning. He had fine grades and could do the work but when he was done with the work he wanted to be a clown. Which I agree was disturbing the other kids but come on now most boys are like that. It absolutely made him mad and from that point on he could have cared a less about school. As far as your daughter not following directions well how is she doing her school work well then? You need to be able to follow directions and the teachers directions to do school work. Most children who are in kindergarten do not have a whole lot of maturity to begin with, once she is in school longer she will learn that. I feel if it is not due to grades then I would not hold her back. But only you know your child! Good luck!!!

Answer 6

I worked at a preschool last year when my daughter then 3 was enrolled there.  The director (a gigantic pain in the @$$) suggested that EMily be put in the 2 year old room.  I was furious.  Emily did not do well with this woman(also her teacher)  Dee was a dominator and Em really rebelled against that.  At sunday school em was always with the older kids b/c she was so mature.  Anywho.  Em is going to kindergarten next year and is already reading so I am worried she will be bored also.  I think if you have faith in your teacher that you should really consider what she is saying.  I totally understand how you feel though.  Maybe if you are 100% sure you don't want her held back then talk to her teacher and maybe develop a plan of action for her summer.  Focus on getting her to follow directions and whatever else she needs to work on.  Maybe get her invovled in some parks and rec stuff to give her some formal instruction experience.  Maybe you should also talk to the teacher for the 1st grade and see what she has to say.

Answer 7

let her go into first grade. its not the teacher's decision, it's yours. send her to another schol if she does badly in first grade. very simple.

Answer 8

dont hold her back. shell get picked on in later years and shell just become more immature because shell be mad. If shes fine with education, then thats fine. there are plenty of immature kids in my grade!

Answer 9

I went thru the same thing with my son (who now is 12 yrs old) and I decided not to hold him back and I never regretted it.

Answer 10

it wont hurt her fight for what you thiink is right your her mom they are not my sons teacher wants to do the same thing already and he has been in this new school for 2 weeks

Answer 11

I would not allow them to hold her back (it is your choice, not theres). If you find she is struggling in first grade there are things you can do to help her like tutoring.

I was the child the teachers wanted to hold back in school and my parents didn't allow it. I am very thankful to them for that. I managed to get through school, was NOT always easy but it built character and that is the reason I am where I am today.

Answer 12

If it is not for educational reasons, do not hold her back.

I have to say, each child reacts differently to each teacher. Perhaps your daughter does not like her teacher's teaching style and next year she will get someone who she wants to listen to. Ask your principle for placement with a teacher who seams to be the opposite of her kinder teacher. You could ask to sit in on each first grade teacher and figure out if you think your daughter would do well with that teacher.

Answer 13

Do not keep your kid in kindergarten for another year.  She may be an "indigo" child and is just plain bored with the child-like goings-on of kindergarten.  Put her in the next grade.

Answer 14

You should consider following the teacher's advice.  She has 20-something students each year and is speaking from experience, without the emotional attachments.  There is far more to determining a child's readiness for first grade than just intelligence and you are right that a lack of maturity or coping skills could hurt her greatly in school and have a lasting effect.  If it proves to be enough to interfere with her ability to learn, she could get off to a bad start and be just a little too far behind to catch up for years to come.  I was smart for my age but was held back for a second year of Kindergarten, at my teacher's recommendation, for the same reasons, and I am fairly convinced it benefited me greatly in the long run based on what I did over the next 12 years (and college).  I have no recollection of being bored the second time around or being told that I was bored or that my second year of kindergarten had any adverse effects on me whatsoever.  Moreover, it gave me another year to prepare myself emotionally for a full day of school.

I am not aware of any stigma associated with a 2nd year of kindergarten.  Your child will not be an outcast for starting first grade in her late-6's or early-7's, you will not be regarded as a bad parent and I am sure she will forgive you some years from now for putting her on course to graduate a year later than she would have otherwise.  

This is your child's life and future.  There is far less chance you will be asking yourself "what if?" years from now if you hold her back at her teacher's recommendation as opposed to sending her to school and taking your (and her) chances.  Why hurry her if educational professionals feel she is not ready for school?  You're not a teacher, are you?

Hope I've helped.

Answer 15

That doesn't seem like a valid reason to hold her back. Her work is fine. and it is only February. Lot's can happen between now and then. I would hold her back because of that. It's just something that needs to be worked on with her.That can be done at school and at home.

Answer 16

Sounds like she might have a disability in some way,this should have been caught before she went into kindergarden make them assess your daughter and help her, being held back is not an option once she starts school " no child left behind" Keeping kids back is a really old way of pushing a problem, disability down into another problem,  selfetesm and labeling  problems.

Call a meeting  teacher, principle,school psychologist don't let them hold her back if she has problems it could be a disability or ADHD and then she will qualify for help in school.

Your daughter has rights and one teacher does not always know whats best for her.

If she is in a catholic or private school forget them helping her .

Remember that your daughter's teacher has 25 other children in her class and does not want to deal with any problems.