My daughter's request for earrings-Do you think what she said to me was extremely cheeky or was it a fair shot

Question

My 5yo wants her ears pierced. I won't let her for a few reasons:

1. I want to be sure she'll remember it was her choice.

2. she loves to rough & tumble & I don't think she'd keep them clean.

3. I want to be sure she won't change her mind when its too late

4. I don't want her to anything that hurts.

After a long phase of "go on, go on, go on, go on...", I tried a different tack. I told her I got mine pierced when I was 6 (it was a "rite of passage" where I grew up, girls usually got them done the day before their first Holy Communion), "...and they got infected so I had to take them out and let them heal up. Why do you think I never got them pierced again? Because it hurts! Suppose I took you, a young child, to get yours done, when I'm too scared to get them myself, that just wouldn't be right. No way. You'll have to wait til you're older.

She looked at me and said "so the real reason I have to put up with ugly clipons & magnets that keep falling off is because you're a wuss!

Answer 1

lol, she's right. lol Just let her get them pierced. Earrings aren't that hard to take care of and they heal quickly. Remember, she can always take them out if she changes her mind or doesn't like them.

Answer 2

I think it is up to you as the parent. If you just do not want it done just tell her " I am the mom and I say no". She will pout and throw fits obvisously LOL. Tell her you are afraid of the infections and them getting tore out. However I was 5 when I got my ears pierced and I remember it. I also remember it hurt A LOT ( i was 5 at the time it was the worst pain I encountered). If you chose to allow her to do it let her know that it will sting and there is always a risk of infection and that she will have to have them turned and cleaned on a regular basis whether she likes it or not. Also tell her once they start there is no going back. Who knows maybe she will change her mind after awhile and decide to wait.

Answer 3

I have a 2.5 year old and she does not want hers done at all my husband i guess at work all the guys think it was funny to have a mid life something and all went and peirced there ears and one guy acted like it killed him playing and i ask if she wanted hers peirced she looked straight at me and said no mom i was like ok that was a year ago almost well my cousin had her little girls done that just turned 2 and she loves them and don't even mess with them but you could take a needle sterilize it and say this is what they use want to fill what it will fill like and if she says yes don't push but let her know that is is going to hurt and burn a little just show her what it looks like

Answer 4

well i don`t  thank you should make her wait till 6 i got mine when i was 3or4

Answer 5

Funny and cute, but very cheeky. who's the parent?

Take her to a piercing place and let her see a few people get it done.

Answer 6

Well its the truth right?  You too scared to get your ears pierced because you had a bad experience so you dont want her to get her ears pierced.  She is 5 so you cant expect her to keep them clean all on her own.  Shes going to need a little guidence in that department but your her mother and thats what your there for.  I would take her and let her get them done.  She obviously is going to remember that it was her decision after a conversation like that.  Dont let her wear any dangily earrings if she tumbles and rough houses.  Just tell her that you will let her get them done but you will only buy studs for the risk of her getting them ripped out.  If she regrets her decision then all she has to do is take them out and the holes will grow up soon after.

Answer 7

No offense, I'm sure your daughter is usually a sweet little girl, but that's a pretty fresh mouth for a 5 year old.  There would be no kind of reward for talking to mom with that kind of disrespect.  It would be like rewarding bad behavior.

Answer 8

haha, if she asks for a tongue piercing, you should definitely say yes! But joke aside, earings can indeed be dangerous for a child who plays in the sandbox or at the playground, so maybe she should wait a bit. Be just honest to her, say you don't want her to get hurt or to get an infection.

Answer 9

She outsmarted you there! :)

Answer 10

1. It's obvious that she is making the choice by her comments.

2. If she doesn't keep them clean, it will be a life lesson.

3. I don't think she is going to regret it ever. I've never really met a person who regrets having their ears pierced, besides if she doesn't like it she can just take them out.

4. Wow, things are going to hurt her in life. If she wants to get it done, let her.

She made a good comeback to you, thats deserving enough to have it done.

Answer 11

Pierced ears are the very start of your daughter's long, arduous quest to alter her body in order to adorn it, sculpt it, heighten it, and squeeze it into shape.

It's insidious.  She's already responding to the advertising that is telling her she's not good enough unless she spends money to alter herself.  

Your daughter has offered you the perfect opportunity to start educating her about her body (age appropriately) and advertising.

Take a stand, and let her know that she's too young for earrings.

And do all the parents of your daughter's classmates a favor.  Don't be the one who starts the "Can I?'s" in her class.

I know that you got your ears pierced at age 6.  A great many cultures around the world pierce girls' ears early.  It was merely a fact of life in your family when you were little, not an effort to dress you up and make you more attractive at age 6.

With awareness, you can now see that piercing ears before adolescence is simply unnecessary and it is the start of the slippery slope towards disatisfaction with and obsession over physical appearance.

I've told my daughter to wait until she is 12.  She knows my reasons.  She nags me occasionally, but she's learning a valuable lesson every time I reinforce my objections to early piercing.

Good luck.

Answer 12

i dont see the reason for children to have their ears pierced at such a young age . it does nothing for them at 5 years old.

i got mine done at 12 and thats because my parents gave me the choice if i actually wanted them done, i can experience whats needed to care for them properly.

for your little girl tell her a age when u think its ok for her to get em done ( i would say 10 minimum).  she'll  be occupied with something else soon so dont get wound up over it.

Answer 13

Touche' dear child. lol She got you on that one. It was cheeky, but you gotta give it to her for making a decent point.

Consider the worst consequences of letting her get her ears pierced:

1. She won't take care of them and they'll become infected.

2. They'll heal up and need repiercing.

You went through both of these things, so you know that they aren't life & death situations.

I doubt she'll ever "regret" having her ears pierced as long as they don't heal up... I don't know any women with pierced ears that regret them. When they don't want to wear earrings, they simply don't wear them.

The biggest part of this is probably that you know it'll hurt her to get it done and that's why you don't want her to do it. That's completely understandable. But you know it won't hurt her any less at 6, 10, or 12. (Although her reaction may vary greatly.)

If she were my daughter, I'd sit her down and tell her, "You know that it really hurts to get your ears pierced. I've told you that before. But if you really want them done, we'll go get them pierced. Once. If you don't take care of them and they get infected or heal over, I won't pay to have them pierced again. So while you'll look cool with your new earrings, you need to keep in mind that having pierced ears is a responsibility and you'll have to keep them clean."

If she agrees, then just suck it up and do it. There'll be a lot of experiences in her life that will make you worried sick about her -- getting her ears pierced is unfortunately one of the easier experiences. Just my opinion. Good luck!

Answer 14

Hahaha! Wow....that's a little sassy, but I wouldn't be mad at her. She obviously wants them really bad...just let her do it. You'll have to help her keep them clean and make sure she takes care of them properly. Make sure that she understands it hurts, which it sounds like you've done. It's really not that bad....I remember getting my ears pierced....I was about 4 or 5 and it wasn't that bad. And if she decides she doesn't want it anymore...simply take them out...

Answer 15

Yeah that was a little sassy but what can you say she is 5.  I must say I don't see the big deal with the earring thing, my 2 girls both had their ears pierced when they were a week old, my oldest a 4 days old ( my mother did them, she is has the gun and everything) but I found with getting it done young I took care of them and they wear them if they want to and dont' if they dont' want to, my oldest loves them and my 7 year old doesn't care one way or the other, but I know that when she gets ready she will have the holes there to use them.  Have fun it only gets worse! ha/ha

Answer 16

ok well i personally got my ears pierced for the first time when i was 5 and i wasn't very good at cleaning them but my mom kinda helped me along. And i still have them. I think you should let her get them and you should help her along and remember to clean them. it doesn't take alot of cleaning

Answer 17

She's straight up cheeky!

Forget it! My girls wear STICKERS for earrings and never in public! They are presently 6 & 10.

My gorgeous 10 year old has decided on her own to never pierce her ears because she has a freckle that she likes right in the spot one would normally pierce.  I have shown her "ear wraps" as an alternative for when she is older.

My 6 yr old doesn't often ask to wear jewelry.

No means no. That's what no means!

My kids have to wait until they are legal adults before they permanently mark their bodies. By that time, I hope they will be able to make educated, rational decisions about it.

Answer 18

I respect your values, etc.  We all have our "thing".  But think of it.....you have listed 4 reasons for not wanting your daughter to put a darn earring in her ear!  It's not a tattoo or a mohawk.  It hurts for 2 seconds and then it's over!  Don't put your fears on your daughter (which you're already doing by telling her it will hurt and your scared).  All women wear earrings, it's the tamest thing in the world.  I rarely hear of them getting infected.  It's like a rite of passage.

And her answer to you was cute.....sometimes kids see things just the way they are.  Plain and simple.  Don't turn HER into a wuss.  There's no room for that in today's world.  If she can't handle a tiny amount of pain at 5, what is in store for her later?

Answer 19

she sounds so cute, but she shouldn't sass you like that.

Answer 20

you have a funny daughter

Answer 21

I guess I would of just answered "Yep - that about sums it up

Answer 22

Definitely cheeky. Where did she learn language like that anyway? I would say fine, let her get them pierced, but tell her she has to take care of them herself and be responsible for them. I'd hate to take the "I told you so" route with a kid, but she seems to need a good putting in her place, so see how she takes care of them.

Answer 23

lol...well, from the reply she gave you in reference to why she has to wait sounds kinda like she may be ready (if that makes any sense) but i didnt get mine done until i was 7...if you still cant fend her off, why dont you try explaining the process of how ears get pierced...maybe if she knew the details she'll decide to wait...or if you relent and let her get them done now set ground rules and tell her that they are her responsibility and if she dosent take care of them you'll take the earrings out, and make her wait until shes older...(at the age of 5 she may need your help cleaning them, but as long as she is making the effort to do it, or remind you "its time to clean my ears, will you help me?"...)

Answer 24

She's a little cheeky - but a bit insightful.  I won't make her bother w/ those ugly clipons anymore, she can go w/o earrings.

My then-6 year old wanted her ears pierced, but she didn't want to learn to swim.  (Bad timing to fuss over the earrings just after fussing about swimming).   So we set a goal - when she could pass level 4 swimming, she could get her ears pierced.  We thought it would buy us YEARS - it got us one season.  But she's taken fairly good care of her ears and has never gotten an infection.

Put a long term goal out there, w/ pierced ears as the reward.   That will make her remember how hard she worked to earn them and make her more aware of how much she wanted them.  BTW, they have a gun at Claires that does it quickly and painlessly.

Answer 25

LMAO!!! Um... that was a good one. She has a point MOM!! Let her get it done. It's so not a big deal when you look at what really IS a big deal. But how about you make her earn it. Make a chart with chores, good deeds for neighbors, things like that, where she has to earn a certain number of points before she can get it done. It will be more rewarding if she has to earn it! That'll also "pay" for the cheekiness of the comment.   ;-)

Answer 26

lmao. you have one funny kid. tell her d**n right that is why lol

Answer 27

Way too cheeky. (But very funny!!) I wouldn't give in to her if you already said no.  I definately wouldn't give in to her right now purely because you've already told her 'no'. We all want our own way when we are kids but if u give in to her now then how are u ever going to teach her proper respect!! And if you dont follow through when you've said no she will just learn to grind u down on everything she wants!! If it were me I would use it as a bargaining tool. i.e. if u behave yourself and show me how respectful u are then u can have them for your next birthday.. Then you'll see how bad she wants it done!!

Answer 28

Well she's right isn't she?

She loves to rough and tumble so I think she is a bit tougher than you.  I don't see the big deal, but you are the parent and if you don't want her to do it then don't let her do it.

As for cheeky, yes, that was cheeky, but a good observation.  Don't fault her for pointing out the truth.

Answer 29

That's dead easy - she doesn't like clipons and magnets? Take them away. She still can't have her ears pierced, so she'll have to do without earrings altogether until she learns some manners.

There's no such thing as "a fair shot" from a five year old to an adult. She was rude and bratty. You need to lose the respect you're showing her attitude, or she'll carry on being rude and bratty.

Answer 30

Her comment was a little fresh, but I suspect she was correct.  Why are you keeping her from getting her ears pierced just because YOU thought it was painful?  My six-year-old had her ears pierced for her fifth birthday, and she was fine with it.   She never got any type of infection, and she just loves all the cute little earrings she can wear now.

As far as remembering it was her choice, have you ever in your life met anyone who regretted having their ears pierced?  Perhaps their tongue or their nose, but definitely not the ears!

Answer 31

it was extremely cheeky but you really set ur self up for that one LOL