My daughter's school friends were mean to her and said she couldn't play with them. What should I do?

Question

Three of her classmates were playing and my daughter wanted to play too.

They said no, she couldnt. Just like that. No reason.

She came bawling to me because she was so hurt. They're 5-year-olds.

I told her not to worry.. that I'd play with her, or find her some other fun thing to do, but she kept crying saying she wanted to play with them.

What's the right thing to do in this situation?

Answer 1

There is nothing to do. It is part of growing up. Just make sure that u talk to her and tell her that everything will be fine, she will find new friends....They will forget the next day

Answer 2

Soothe her, play with her yourself, or maybe look into having another one of her friends come over for a little after school play time. I highly suggest though, leaving it alone. Kids are kids. Like the other poster said, they'll be over it and all will be forgotten within a few days. I've found that when we adults get involved we just complicate things...hug her, love her and let it be.

Answer 3

It is very normal for kids to switch on/ off about who they want to play with. She will get over it very quickly, and will probably be best friends with these kids again tomorrow. If not, they might just not get along. Some kids don't, and that's the way it goes.

In the meantime, you could help give her some strategies for playing with others. Tell her that it's ok to play with someone different or that it is ok to play alone. Most 5 year olds will play happily alone unless we adults put pressure on them to have friends and to be constantly playing with others. Tell her that she could ask a different friend to play, or to go and find a teacher for help if she has no-one to play with. Usually teachers will help a young child to find someone to play with.

Remember that it is not the end of the world every time she has difficulty with her friends. Teach her to deal with it herself and don't get too upset when something like this happens, as this will upset her and make her feel like it is not ok to play alone or to play with other friends.

Answer 4

Nothing. Stay out of it. You've already talked to her about it. Let these girls work it out in their own way in their own time. Are you going to get into every little tiff your daughter gets into in her life?

Answer 5

Kids do that.  It usually happens when more than two kids get together.  I wouldn't do anything.  I'd just tell her that sometimes kid do that kind of thing because they aren't grown up and don't always know how to be good friends to their friends.

It will blow over, and if it turns out they're always doing that kind of thing I'd find other ways for her to find kids to play with.

Answer 6

Its a hard question to answer  as Kids have their own way of choosing their friends.I  would go to the school and have a quiet word with the teacer and  ask her could she get all the kids together and have a talk to them as well.

Answer 7

I taught kindergarten last year and this was often an issue with one student telling me one week and a different one the next. Often when another student sees the child crying they will come over and be sympathetic and take the child off to play. Then the next day there will be a completely different group of friends playing. They don't really have mutual close, lasting friendships until later. Don't worry about it too much, but keep a close eye on it and talk with the teacher if it continues.

Answer 8

Wow.  Yes kids can be mean and they tend to form cliques.  You could suggest she try and play with another group of girls.  What I think is most important here is that you reassure her that she is wonderful and that there is nothing wrong with her.  And when she gets home, you can play with her.  My mom did that with me when I was a little girl and it made all the difference in my life, and I have the best memories of us singing and dancing together, having tea parties (she even served real drinks and cookies too, those fake tea parties with the other kids couldn't compete with that) and playing dolls.  And remember kids are fickle, they may tell her they don't want to play with her today, and then beg her to play with them tomorrow.  I know it hurts, but they have to experience these things.

Answer 9

That's so horrible. My daughther is 3 now and that happens to her I do the same as you, but when we get home I will bring it up again when she is already calmed down and ask her how she felt and it wasn't a nice feeling,( because she does the same thing) and she has stopped saying it to other kids. I also tell her when the situation has already passed, that when someone tells you that they are not your friend or don't want to play with you to say thats not nice to say and that it's okay because she has other friends to play with, that also helps as well!!

Answer 10

kids will be kids they will fix it the minute u step in and try to help they will all be buddy buddy and you will be the bad guy...

Answer 11

This is just a part of it.  Trust me, it will pass before you know it.  One minute they will be mad at one another, and the next, hugging.

Answer 12

Guide her and train her to have a higher emotional intelligence (EQ).