My daughter and her best friend not talking?

Question

My daughter is 10 and has been best friends with a girl since they were toddlers, grew up together and were always at each others house this is the first year in school they have been in different classes and it is really hard. My daughter is a soft hearted kid and acts her age, she is more concerned with dolls than with acting like a teen and this friend has grown past her, she is more like 14 than 10. I am having a hard time explaining all of it to my daughter. She misses her friend but the girl is now so out of control I cn't handle her being around. Her mom lets her dress like a teen and run around all over town without adults which I would never let my kid do. How can I let my daughter know that people change and sometimes friends change. She has other friends and stays busy with them but she misses this one. Last night we were at a concert at the school and she said hi to her friend and the kid just walked on and ignored her so she left in tears. Help

Answer 1

You need to explain it to her just like you did in your description above. Also, you need to be blunt and forward and let her know that since her friend has decided to treat her that way, she has already made her decision and they are no longer friends. It is very rare to keep the same friends from birth through your high school and adult life.

Answer 2

I think you're a very in tune mom and unfortunately situations like this happen quite a lot.  My 9 year old son has gone through something similar over the past year, where a former "friend" decided to not be his friend anymore because my son wasn't cool enough.

You just have to reinforce to your daughter that people change and that she has other friends.  It's hard for kids to understand these situations, but unfortunately it's part of life.  You're doing all the right things.

Answer 3

I would explain what you said, plus the fact that,her being allowed so much freedom is unwise,that you are afraid that the child is going to get around a lot of bad influence or even dangerous situations.In her having so much freedom, she probably thinks she "knows" more than your daughter, that`s probably why she`s ignoring her. I`d tell my daughter that I care too much for her safety & that in the future this child will probaly end up in a lot of trouble.-This hits close to home for me, I have a daughter, almost 10 she has a friend ,whose parents seem not to have any morals. I`ve explained that she probaly will change,but it will be because,her enviroment ,etc is so different than ours.We basically LOVE our child, which means we care what happens to them.Good Luck,it`s really hard to see our child hurt.

Answer 4

Semoangel,

What a great mom!

This sometimes happens. We have four kids, and this happened to our #3, our youngest daughter.

Just like you suggested, let her know sometimes friends change. Be there for her, just as you are.

Sounds like someone else is raising another Britney Spears type.

"Ranger"

Answer 5

I'm sure your daughter is hurt and taking it quite personally.  Let her know that as people grow, their lives take different directions.  Some people come into our lives for just a season and then they go for many many reasons.  Tell your daughter not to sweat it, it may be just a phase the other girl is going thru and down the road they may reconnect.  Point out the other people who value her friendship right now and encourage her to focus on those, not the one who rejects her.

Answer 6

Your daugheter is just way immature and needs to get over it and find a new BFF

Answer 7

This is one of those life experiences that nobody likes to experience.  You can let her know that she did her best to try to be friends to this girl but evidently this girl thinks she is to good to be friends with your daughter, and that's not what a true friend should do.  That if this girl had the least bit of sense she would apolagize to your daughter and tell your that she can find better and nicer people to hang out with.  CHEERS to you for not letting her go out..thats a mom i like