My daughter cannot read by herself in the first grade. ?

Question

She just started the first grade and some of the other kids already know how to read. She can read by herself if I am sitting with her. I am scared that she is behind, her teacher also writes notes to me saying she is concerned about her attention span. These kids are SIX! I am a very strict and old school parent who believes in respect for teachers so I ground her if she gets disciplined at school, but everyday she comes home saying she tried to behave and still got a "C" for behavior. Are any other parents experiencing this? Could she be ADHD?

Answer 1

She just started school?  Like last week?  Of course nobody 'expects her' to be able to read!

All kids are different.  Some normally bright kids are reading in kindergarten or before.  Others don't really learn to read until 1st or 2nd grade.  She's fine.

As for behavior issues, you need to talk to her teacher about what specifically she is doing.  And maybe look at your own disciplinary practices to see if they are making matters worse. (If she's constantly restricted at home, maybe school is the only chance she has to run around?)  

Answer 2

It sounds like she is under too much pressure. Reading is fun! Perhaps the subject matter needs to be more interesting? She may be too terrified of being evaluated to be able to think straight at school. Or is there a time factor which is causing her to seize up? Ask the teacher to describe what is going on, so that you can all understand the problem before it gets worse.

She should not be punished for behaviour at school. Are you sure she understands what is expected? A list might help. Keep it simple.  If the teacher won't stop giving grades every day, just make sure you forget about it at home. Rather ask what your daughter enjoyed about her day. Otherwise you end up on the downward spiral of punishment-resistance-more punishment. Praise works wonders and makes everyone happier!

Answer 3

Well getting graded daily for behavior is a lot of pressure for anyone don't you think? And my husband has always said unless it is something huge (which it does not sound like the case with your daughter) they have already been punished at school, so let the punishment lie there, in other words don't punish them twice. For one she is 6 and it sounds like great pressure is being put on her. Have you tried being positive and encouraging rather than threatening. Don't get me wrong I am pretty strict behavior wise with my kids HOWEVER a "have a good day, I KNOW you will do fine" can go a long way with a child. You need to keep her encouraged about school not discouraged. Give her a chance school has just started again. Stop with the daily grade and let it be what it is. Not every child will be an "A" all the time, give her some time to adjust and try some positive reinforcement. It sounds to me like she feels she is labeled before she even gets there, and it sounds that way to me as well.

Answer 4

What do you mean she can read by herself if you are sitting with her? If you're helping her, she's not reading by herself. If you're not helping her, what difference does it make where you are sitting?

First thing you need to do is go talk to the teacher in person - communication through notes is just too slow. I mean, it might be anything from ADHD down to she needs to be moved so she isn't sitting by her friend who she gets distracted by.

As far as the only reading sitting by you goes, I think you should try to wean her off it. Sit down beside her as usual, start her off, then say "carry on, I'm listening, I just need to lay the table" or something, and quietly do something next to her so you can look over and help if she gets stuck. If you're still pointing to the words for her, then try to find something you "need to do" with your hands while sitting by her and get her to try doing the pointing for herself.

What bad behaviour is getting her this "C" mark? Is it always the same? I think she needs something more specific to focus on. It might be making a big point of sitting still during story time, or of not shouting out...in any case I think you should discuss this with the teacher so you can give your daughter much smaller steps to work on and so you all know what the goal is this week. Then you can try maybe a reward scheme - "I didn't shout out in class today" - and if she manages it every day for a week she gets a sticker.

Answer 5

My child was just like yours.  She had two teachers at the age of six, and to hear them talk, you'd think they were describing two different kids.  The problem turned out to be the teacher, not the chid.

Please don't set your child (or yourself up) for a lifetime of agony by comparing her to other kids.  Children learn at individual rates.  By third grade, no one can tell the difference between early readers and later readers.

A six year old does not have a long attention span.  If your child is bored by the teacher, no amount of effort is going to make her pay attention.  

Before worrying about her having ADHD, I would be talking to the teacher about how EXACTLY your daughter misbehaves.  You might find that this teacher has unrealistic expectations of six year olds in general or your child in particular.  This teacher might also be abusive.

Above all, be an advocate and a source of safety for your child.  Make home a haven, not a place where she fears further punishment after an already stressful school day.  If you continue in this vein, your daughter will stop telling you what happened at school.

Answer 6

im not sure how long your daughter has been back at school, but its on the begining of the year, she needs time to adjust. kingergarden is nothing like grade one and is a huge change for kids.

As for the reading, my daughter entered grade one, and her teacher thought that she would be held back forsure. By the end of the year she caught up to her classmates and dosnt need the extra reading help class for grade 2. I to was very worried about her reading capabilities but it was amazing to watch her succeed by the day.

Im curious as to why your child will read at home but not at school? She could be shy. My daughter had the issue with math, she could do it no problem at home with me, but at school she would fail at it. Time is all that she needed to start doing as good at school as she was at home. her confidence was shot to h**l because she struggled at school and needed people to tell her how good she was doing when she was doing good. she was very hard on herself for a 6 year old.

Also, depending on your daughters birthday, she may be behind because of a late birthday. Teacher have to put that into concideration. My daughter was behind partly because she didnt turn 6 untill october in grade 1.

Answer 7

My daughter is six and in the first grade too and although she can read, she has to sound the words out a lot, so it takes her longer, than most.  

As for the attention span, could be but to be honest I wouldn't want to put a label on her quite yet.  Give it awhile.  What did her Kindergarten teacher say about her attention span.  

Answer 8

I believe in ADHD, but I also believe that it is highly overdiagnosed.  It is not normal for a six year old child to sit still and be quiet all day long-in fact, it is very difficult for an ADULT to do.  It is also unhealthy.  She will adjust, though it will take some time-and perhaps more time than some other students.  Each child is a unique individual.

Continue to practice reading with her at home, and never compare her to the other students.  Again, she is a unique individual and she will learn at her own pace.  Some children learn to read at 4, some at 8 (give or take).  There is nothing WRONG or EXCEPTIONAL about any of these children-they are all within a normal range.  

If I were you, I would have a conference with the teacher to ask exactly what is going on and see if the two of you-along with your daughter-can make a plan that will work for her.  Make sure that you and especially your daughter are in on this planning.

I hope this helps, and wish you the best.