My daughter gets up from bed and comes downstairs to cuddle on the couch?

Question

Even after I take her back to bed she gets up all the time. What should I do about this? Is it ok to let her do it sometimes or should I never allow it?

She's 4 by the way.

Answer 1

Well make sure her rooms is all nice and safe. Almost like a safe zone, as someone said she may be scared of something.

Also when she comes down stairs you take her straight back to bed saying its night time baby. Put her back into bed and go back down. If she comes down again you do the same thing its night time baby and put her back into bed. If she continues after the second time you just take her straight back to bed. Do not strike up a conversation and be persistent with it. I did that with My son and by the 3rd night he never came out his room and was tucked up fast asleep by 8pm. I got that from supernanys book here's a link for you. Great book.

Answer 2

This really isn't ok at her age, although it is a very common problem so don't worry! It's attention seeking behaviour and also stems from the fact that children don't like to miss whatevers going on downstairs. However she needs to learn to go to sleep in her own bed and stay there both because its a lesson every child must learn and also for her health. If she isn't getting enough sleep this is a huge problem in a very young child and as a teacher its really frustrating to see children who you know are actually really sweet and clever being grumpy and lethargic because they just aren't sleeping enough.

I suggest you start with a new bedtime regime asap. Explain to her the need to stay in her own bed and don't accept excuses (children are good at turning on the 'I'm scared' if they think it's going to get them their own way) Have some quiet time with perhaps a bath and/or story before bedtime then put her into bed and leave the room. If she gets up immediately take her back upstairs give her a hug and put her back into bed, again saying briefly that it's bedtime and she must go to sleep in her bed. Next time she gets up you simply put her back in bed with no hug or words. Repeat this final step everytime she gets up. Don't give any time to requests for a drink of water/a hug/one more story/just five minutes or floods of tears, you need to be really firm with this one. It doesn't mean you love her less and you will be there in the morning for her so she is well aware you are not going anywhere.

The first night this may require perserverence on your part and can be exhausting as it takes a while for the child to learn that they aren't going to get away with it anymore. If you stick to your guns on the first night then every night after that it will get a little bit easier until eventually you find she is sleeping quite happily in her own bed.

Answer 3

just sleep down their with her if she will get up when you put her in her bed

down ther=living room

Answer 4

my son does exactly the same so im glad im not the only one going through this. i have started putting a dvd on for him to watch in bed, this is seeming to work at the minute.

Answer 5

maybe in her room she MIGHT be afraid of something...if i were u ill try letting her sleep in your room...or if she feels more comfortable in the living room i don't see why that's a bad thing to do...

Answer 6

Well, I have a baby gate at the kids door so they cant get out. They have come to the gate and want to come down, but I always comfort them and put them back to bed. Maybe getting a new doll and telling her she can sleep with this new doll as long as she stays in her bed. It is worth a try.

Answer 7

My son is only 2 and he does that sometimes.  He is a very social person and loves to be around anyone.  If he had his way he would stay up until we went to bed every night.  Right now he can't open the door so I don't have that much of a problem with it, when he can open doors I plan on putting a child lock on it so he can't get out.  When he does want out, I let him play by himself for a little bit and then after a while put him back to bed.  Every once in a while I do let him come back and sit with us on the couch (I think it's fine to do that every once in a while, it's fun to cuddle with him then).

If you do want it to stop, be consistant, put a lock on the door and then ignoring the crying for a few nights until they get over it.  

I would have to say though, staying up too late isn't good for when they are in school, my niece never had a bed time, her first year in school was very hard trying to get her to get up early to go and actually be happy about it.

If you do want to let her stay up...I would say the weekends would be a good time.  

Good luck.

Answer 8

It's not alright. I'm assuming she starts at school in sept so you really need to work at sorting this out now. If you have seen supernanny you will have seen the 3 step technique. Use this by putting her to bed as normal explaining that she needs to go to sleep. Then when she gets up take her back to bed saying good night and a kiss then leave her. Repeat with just putting her back to bed with no talking and carry on repeating until she gives up and you win and get an evening to yourself. It just takes perseverence.

Answer 9

ask her why. does she not like the door shut  or does she need a teddy to cuddle. can she hear noises. give her big cuddles before bed and try reading her a story til she drops off.

Answer 10

its becoming a habit to her,if you make it boring for her she wont want to come down,switch off the t.v read a paper and ignore her unless she is crying or not well.she will get back in a routine again.