My daughter hanging out with people much older?

Question

my 16 year old is very pleasant to be around compared to my 15 year old. she's very mature and is often mistaken as much older then she is. i love her very much but she's starting to worry me! her and her best friend (who's basically my fourth daughter) have always been the 'baby' of there friends but recently she's been bringing home friends who are 19-22. im a single mother and i often let her make her own decisions (she has no curfew as long as she tells me what time shes going to be home at, she smokes cigs and weed, and i often let her have friends over to drink and they stay in the basement) as long as she does good in school which she does (b average). i didn't mind her making her own decisions and mistakes until she started hanging out with her new friends i rarely see her with her old friends and she's started to tell me about this guy she's talking to who's 19 turning 20 in october. should i be concerned? her friends are very respectful but most of them have been out of high school for years!

Answer 1

I wouldn't be concerned about the people shes hanging out with I'd be concerned about your parenting techniques.  WHY WOULD YOU EVER LET YOUR CHILD SMOKE, DRINK AND USE DRUGS!?!?  I'm sorry but that is so incredibly moronic.  Do you realize you could go to jail because you let minors drink at your home and smoke illegal substances?

EDIT:

You need to stop trying to be her friend and be her mother.

Answer 2

She's not very mature if she's drinking and smoking underage. Btw, weed is illegal. She's 16 years old, she doesn't need to be hanging out with people that old. Even if she is "mature", she obviously has the ability to make bad decisions.

Answer 3

Wow, how cool of mom will you be once your daughter is dead?  You are a pathetic excuss of a mother.  Grow up!  You should be arrested for what you are doing to your kids, it's called abuse!  Parents like you are why our society is so screwed up and have no morals!  You have invited your daughter to be raped, an addict and a loser.  Have fun (if she lives through it) watching her raise your future grandkids the same way!  No thanks to you, she will never amount to anything!

Answer 4

You need to insist on meeting any people she is hanging out with... it is good form for a parent/child relationship to begin with.

Your daughter is way too young to be dating people that are that old. Each year between 16 and, say, 25 is light-years of difference in sophistication. She can easily be manipulated. The BF can be hauled in for statutory rape.  

Are you ready to become a grandmother already? Do you understand that you are legally responsible for everything she does until she is 18? Do you know that you can be charged with neglect for allowing her to be out past curfew if your town has one? A drug test administered by the cops can also land you in hot water!

Sound like as a mother, you are AWOL.

You need to have a frank talk with her.

There are too many plans she needs to be making before she is 18, and drinking and smoking pot will interfere with this... so will getting pregnant.

She needs to consider getting a job after school, perhaps enrolling in some kind of vocational program, and start doing research as to what she wants to do for a career. She can save her money towards deposits on an apartment and utilities so she can "launch" seamlessly.

Answer 5

I feel like if you already let her smoke cigarettes, smoke pot, drink, and come home whenever she wants, hanging out with a 19 year old boy isn't much different. Older boys take advantage of younger girls, so I guess warn her about the games boys play? I really don't see why you're worrying about her "respectful" friends that she seems to be doing bad things with.

And there is not much of a difference between 15 and 16. (but as for the 15 yr old.... she should probably start going to school)

Answer 6

Sounds like you have more problems with her than just hanging out with older kids.  IMHO she has way too much decision making power in her life and she if trying to get your attention.

Answer 7

This just breaks my heart, after having my neice here for a week and listening to what she had to say about her life with her mom BEFORE children's services stepped in and took the kids from my sister I just want to shake the snot out of you.  whichever child you are talking about be it your 15 OR your 16 yr old there is NO WAY a child should be able to make those decisions.  NO WAY should you be allowing your child to smoke dope and drink.  Do ALL the parents in your neighborhood let their children do the same things?  

  My sister is 2 years younger than i am, she hung around with the same types of people your daughter is hanging around with,  Parents who let them drink and dope it up and drugs.  

Well she's now 39, been in and out of jail so many times i cant count them all.  Prostitutes for crack... She's an alcoholic crackw***e.... The children have been taken from her AND at least one of her daughters, my 17 year old neice was raped at about 13 yrs of age.

Great parenting job your doing.

  OHHH and thats sarcasm,  You need to be a PARENT first!!!   I look at what the future holds knowing that todays children will be running the country tomorrow and hang my head in shame.  Society is suffering tremendously.

Answer 8

idk if you like the guy & your daughter seems to be honest i dont see  a reason y...

Ps: I wish you were my mom lol

Answer 9

You should not of been letting her make her own decisions in the first place. You are the mother and you are responsible for whatever she does. As for smoking cigs and weed and drinking. No child should be allowed to do those things.I know you are a single mom but with the way things sounds you done let it get out of control and there is nothing you can do about it. Your daughter is going to be pregnant by the time she is 18. That is just not any way to raise a child.

Answer 10

Yes, you should be concerned.  Older kids will encourage your daughter to do things that she may not be ready for yet.  Encourage lots of hanging out at the house so you can at least know what they are up to.

Answer 11

Are you serious ? I believe the problems with today's youth starts at home ....... She is 15 ..... your the parent ..... figure it out .....

Answer 12

You should be concerned over your mothering skills. You let her make her own decision, smoke, get high, drink, let her under aged friends drink. You should be ashamed to call yourself a mother. I hope the other kid's parents find out and have you thrown in jail.  

Answer 13

You have all reason to be concerned but i have to say this you let your daugther in the basement with her friends to drink? um she is only 15 not 21 come on your the mother and you let her drink i don't get it i would be more concerned about the drugs and the drinking and then be concerned with the age she hang out with!