My daughter has been talking to a 31 year old man?

Question

I logged into my 15 y/o daughter's face book site (don't judge me...) and found out that she has been exchanging messages with a man who openly admits to being 31 years old, to which she responded it was "cool" that he uses face book. She has also posted suggestive pictures that are commented on by boys/men. What should I do?

Answer 1

first talk to her about only talking to people she knows on facebook/myspace and how girls get hurt when they talk to older strangers. and if you still see that she is still talking to him, either tell her to stop or take away her facebook, or you could call the police and ask for them to track them man down, he shouldn't be talking to young girls.

Answer 2

Just chill. Im twelve and no kid wants their mom looking at what they do online.

It doesnt matter. But if you are that paranoid, just keep checking in on what he is saying. If it gets serious, talk to her. She will get pissed, fyi.

Answer 3

If that man is talking in any way sexually to her, he needs to be reported as she is a minor.

I don't really know what you can do about the pictures, they are already out there.  Perhaps you could join facebook as well, and then "add" her.  If she knows her mum is going to see her page, she might take them off so she doesn't get in trouble.  That would be a good way to do it without having to admit to logging in without her knowing.

Good luck !

Answer 4

i suggest you talk to her

if she gives you any c**p about not trusting her   or  her private business

Say  well looks like you may not be trust worthy  or least of al the 31 year old man may need a watchful eye

as far as private business  

You may not like this    however its all my business

then tell her you love her

and yes  you do want to respetc her privacy  ect

and grow with that some how  

Go get em  MOM

Answer 5

Tell your daughter so stop talking to him.. I mean it could be innocent communication but if your concerned then stop it...

Answer 6

i have a 16 year old and 13 year old daughter and i monitor their facebook and myspace regularly and ive told them if i catch them doing any of that junk they will not be on the internet any more.  there are to many sexual predators out there after young girls you can never be to safe or protective of your child.  you are the parent and you have to protect your daughter no matter if she gets mad at you or not.  its better having her mad at you than maybe sneaking out meeting that 31 year old and getting raped and killed.  just think about how much that happens in todays world and be protective sounds like a good thing to me and even if she gets mad at least she is safe.  and about the pics take them down.  she shouldnt be putting anything up that makes you uncomfortable.  if you dont think they are proper then they need to be taken down.  my daughter had a friend that had put up really provocative pics on myspace and several older men tried to set up meetings with her which would im sure would have ended in tragedy.  so make her take them down.  we are parents and have a responsibility to make sure our children grow up safe and like i said it may make her mad but atleast she will be safe and alive.  good luck to you!!!

Answer 7

call Chris Hanson to catch a predator DATELINE

Answer 8

Remove her from face book, block the site add computer password, and take control of your daughters actions on the comp.

Answer 9

talk to her and tell her its fine as long as nothing happens between the two...that would be downright wrong to allow your daughter to see taht man

Answer 10

Its probably not a good idea to tell your daughter you know of this because then she will know you opened her account and she will never trust you again. Just open an account for yourself and message the same guy your daughter was messaging with. Tell him she is underage and that if you find out he is still chatting with her you will talk to the police or something like that.

If you ask your daughter to stop she will not do that because that will only make it more exciting for her.

Good luck!

Answer 11

Dont trip about her buisness just make sure she not planning to meet anybody

Answer 12

First, I would explain to your daughter what you did.  Explain why you did it and that you as her parent has that right.  I would confront her about the man. Make sure that she is not planning on meeting this guy and possibly explain about internet pediphiles and how dangerous just talking to him online can be.  And technically, how it's is illegal.  I would make her take him off of her Facebook profile and never speak to him again.  And keep tabs on her.  Go in every once and a while and make sure she isn't having any contact with him.  But make sure she knows that you will be doing it.  Hopefully, she will figure it out on her own and stop talking to the guy.  Maybe you as her mother, can confront the guy....on either your own Facebook account or your daughter's.  Make sure he knows that you know he has been conversating with your daughter.  Maybe that will scare him away. ;) Good luck!

Answer 13

Before we can answer that, I think you should also post some of the pictures she posted, so we can get a better idea of how to help you.

Answer 14

well if she doesn't personally know the guys or something i would do something about it especially the 31 year old man i am fourteen so i know how some girls can be oblivious

Answer 15

Its good that you checked because you dont know what she could be getting up to on there!

Confront her about this; Tell her what you have been doing and why you are concerned, also warn her about the dangers of the internet and peadophiles and how if she doesnt know this man what bad stuff he could do to her. Make sure you ask her, Who is he? which should generate some answers, and Where does she know him from? If she doesnt want to know then dont let her go on the pc, Give her some tough love. A good idea is that  maybe you could log on to her facebook account posing as her and and try to find out what this man wants and who is he.

Refering to her suggestive pictures, how suggestive are they, a lot of girls are posing like models on myspace and other sites like facebook so this should be no worry. But what about the comments, what are they like. If the same man is commenting on these pictures, what is he saying.

If any of the comments are suspicious from the man and if you are concerned about him or get any evidence that he is peado then you should call the police.

Hope I'm of help.

Answer 16

You need to suspend her Internet usage indefinitely.

My parents were VERY STRICT as I was growing up, and yes it sucked from my POV, but I'm 25 now, and it shielded me from alot of sickos and perverts.

Also she'll find a way to get online no matter what you do, but you could just put her on punishment for a while, take the keyboard with you when you go to work. (what my parents did)

Answer 17

If you are wanting her to stop talking to this man, and take the pictures down you need to have her show you her facebook. Just one day out of the blue tell her that you would like to look at her facebook, she'll get mad and flustered, but tell her that if she has nothing to hide that it shouldn't be a problem. Then tlak to her about what she had on there and let her know its inappropriate. If you want to go in a different way, you could create your own facebook account and check up on her that way.

Answer 18

Take her computer away..

I would give her the spanking of her life for that nonsense..

Be tuff!   It's a cruel world out there, you should of taught her better.

Answer 19

Talk to her. Don't shout or argue. Just ask her calmly what's going on.

Answer 20

Talk to her, and explain calmly why you don;t want her posting suggestive pictures.

Does the man know your daughter's only 15? She may have told him she's older...

Also, expect her to be angry for logging onto her facebook sight. That is an invasion in privacy.

Answer 21

Talk to her!!! She might be pissed, but you need to tell her that pervs can and will hurt her!

Answer 22

You should send a message to the man and alert him that he has been communicating with a 15 year old girl, but unless he has done something wrong (sending inappropriate messages/pictures) then there is nothing more you can do as far as he goes.  Do tell him that you wish him to cease all contact with your daughter, though.

As for your daughter, I think that you should delete the inappropriate pictures, and instead of deleting the Facebook site, change the message to say that your daughter is no longer allowed access to the internet because of her age and actions (posting the pictures, communicating with older men, etc.).  

I would back that up by NOT allowing her access to the computer/internet without your direct supervision.

Children-which she is, whether she admits it or not-have no idea the danger they can get themselves into.  A seemingly innocent chat with people that they think are their age can lead to a stalker at their door.  They mention their team mascot, or any other trivial detail, and then another and a stalker can find their location with just a few of them and know "Hey, she hangs out at the mall on Friday nights in X city".

I hope this helps, and wish you the best!

Answer 23

First of all, kudos to you! You are a good mom to check what your child does online. They are just that, a child. More parents should be like you and make sure they are safe.

Have you had the talk with her about creeps on the internet and s*x and all that? A lot of girls like to have the affection of an older man. It makes the feel special, like maybe they are more mature.

Answer 24

Hi,shes at an awkward age however you will have to either ignore what she is doing or ban her from the computer.There

is no easy way & she will throw in your face the fact you spied on her.

Good luck

Answer 25

Tell her you are disgusted.  Thank you and good day.

Answer 26

I don't think you should be judged at all for looking.  My sister looks at the myspaces of all her kids and has them on private for everyone including anyone that has a "teen" profile.  The only people they have on there are kids from their school, and she checks their friends lists as least twice a week.

It's time for her to realize that not everyone on the internet is going to be nice. They just aren't there to send messages back and forth. There are people out there that could put her in danger, hurt her and think nothing of it.  Restrict her internet use, and have her block this person from her facebook.  A 31 year old man should have no interest in talking with a 15 year old girl.

Answer 27

That computer would be taken away in about 1 second if she were my child. I would also send MR Lover Boy a nice little message from mom............and the police if he knows she is 15.

Answer 28

well as a mother, and her being 15 and him with that age, of course you are a bit freaked out.

talk to her about it, be honest and open.

if they are just talking, i wouldnt worry about it, but if there are any plans then i would definately get involved.

i dont know why any 31 year old man would want to talk to a girl that age though, its just weird for me...

good luck,

im so dreading when my girls get to that age....

Answer 29

1st of all does your daughters page SAY she is 15 some girls can look older than they are, on the other hand some older women may look younger than they are.  there is nothing wrong with  HARMLESS conversation btwn the 2. as long as the conversation can be monitored. also check myspace & black planet. but as far as trust, what prompted u to check in the 1st place. if nothing, than there may be a trust issue. id say watch closely from a distance. the conversation MAY be harmless. but i still applaud you for being a snoop, you MAY have saved her life.

Answer 30

Take her away from the computer and shut down her facebook site. Or you could report it to face book and I am sure they would look into it especially with a 15 year old talking to a 31 year old man. I would ask her about it and if she tried to lie her way outta it I would tell her you already know the truth. This guy might be a perv

Answer 31

First of all don't feel guilty about checking out her Facebook site. You have every right as her mother and you did the right thing. Second, take charge and SHUT IT DOWN! Or you'll be on the news crying about how your daughter is missing. Third, learn how to put parental blocks on her computer. And fourth, sit her down and tell her in no uncertain terms what she's doing is wrong and you're not going to tolerate it. I don't get the impression there's a father in the home, but this could be why she's seeking the attention of an older man. Spend more time with her and explain she doesn't need a man's approval. If she has a grand father or uncle, ask them to talk to her too.