My daughter has cancer, how should I deal with it?

Question

My daughter who is 16 has cancer and has gotten to the point where she is too weak to walk or take care of herself at all, she is very helpless and has lost a lot of weight too. She gets depressed and tells me how much her body hurts but I'm not sure how to best make her feel as good as possible. It hurts me a lot to see her like this and I'm afraid to lose her. Any suggestions on what I should do? What good activities should I try with her that might make her feel a little better?

Answer 1

The first thing I would do is get in contact with a cancer charity/support group. If you're in the UK Macmillan is a fantastic group that offers loads of advice, support (emotional as well as financial) and therapy. Stateside there are quite a few groups as well..namely the American Cancer Society.



Next speak to your daughter's doctors. Surely there is something they can do to make her more comfortable.

As far as activities maybe you could do something inspiring as well as fun. If you have lots of family photos that haven't been framed or put into an album maybe the two of you could make a collage out of them. Laugh over all of the good times to remind your daughter that there are plenty more good times to be had. Let her know that she can beat this and that you will be right by her side the whole time. Get some travel brochures and make some definite travel plans for when she gets better. It may sound silly but looking through them and talking about vacations will make both of you feel optimistic and give you something to look forward to.

I hope this has helped a bit. You, your daughter and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Answer 2

Oh my God, is she in treatment?  What am I saying surely she is.  This is so terrible for your daughter and for you.  

Firstly, address the pain issues with her doctor.  Surely they can get her on some sort of pain management.  Second, start taking her for walks, get her outside in the fresh air.  Nothing too exerting but enough to get her some sunshine.

Maybe get her involved in a blog about her condition.  Maybe some other people might be able to encourage her.  It helps when they are in the same boat.  

Try http://www.thecancerblog.com

From what I saw they offer all types of advice and support for people with cancer.

I'm sorry I can't be of more help to you.  I can't imagine the pain you are going through and the helplessness you must feel.  You'll both be in my prayers.  God bless you.

Answer 3

I am very sorry to hear this and my heart goes out for you and your daughter. I think you should spend as much time with her as you can and do activities with her that she can physically do. Watch movies, read, draw, etc...

Answer 4

I know play her in a sport then let her win and show her she is still strong and healthy!

Answer 5

Does she like to paint...I hear it can be very therapeutic. Another thing that makes me happy is animals....is it possible for you to buy her a new puppy. (Mabye a lazy old basset hound who would just cuddle her all the time, or a cuddly cat.) Does she like poetry or writing music. Maybe you could take her out to get a make-over (If she likes that kind of thing), or for a massage, or to a spa. What is too bad is a lot of the things I am suggesting cost money. Just try and make her laugh....laughing always makes me feel better. You sound like a wonderful mom, and I wish you and your daughter all the luck in the world!

Answer 6

I think you should contact your local cancer society for ideas, or support groups for other parents who are going through what you are. Im sorry to hear this its a terrible thing for any parent to have to go through seeing their child in pain.