My daughter has just turned 3 and finds it hard to wait for things - we are trying to teach her patience but?

Question

the problem is she has just started nursery in the mornings. I was surprised by how often she is expected to sit on a mat with the other children just sitting and waiting. For example at register time (up to 10 minutes) after play time (up to 20 minutes whilst snack is prepared and when children are taken in small groups to wash their hands) after snack again (10minutes when the others are finishing), before next activities and at the end too.

Waiting like this she stuggles with and so is I feel being told off for roll around or not looking at a book. I don't know what to do as I feel at just turned 3 they are expecting too much as she is not the only one who has trouble with this - I feel at these times one of the teachers should sit with them and read a story or sing songs or somehow engage them but maybe that is not the norm - any advise or similar experiences be appreciated thanks.

Answer 1

the teachers need to realize a child has the attention span of 1 minute per year of age. They can't wait any longer than that before they get bored.

Answer 2

I agree with you that 20 minutes is a bit too long for 3 year olds to sit still.  Having taught 3 year olds in a day school, we handled it a bit differently.  First off children were allowed to play quietly in the stations while registration occured.  I had a bell that I would ring when it was time to begin.  When the bell rang the children would put away all toys and sit "in the circle."  We had sinks in our classroom for handwashing.  The children lined up at the sink and when they were finished they sat in their seat at the tables.  One of us stood next to the sink to assist the children in washing hands and one of us placed their food in front of them as they were seated.  Children do need to learn patience and I was fully ready to offer advice on that subject when I read the topic of your question.  However, upon reading your details I became concerned about a daycare that requires that much sitting still time.  Even when reading a story, if we had to speak to a child more then once during the story, one of us would take the child away from the group and talk to them so as not to distrupt the rest of the class.  Seems like you might wish to talk to the director of your day care and find out just what requirements the instructors must meet.  Also, just out of curiosity I'd want to take a look at the lesson plans for the class.  And yes...3 year old daycare groups do require that the head instructor has a lesson plan/schedule for the classes.

Answer 3

Like the concept of conservation patience depends on psychlogical development i.e she hasn't got to this stage yet to understand the concept.

Answer 4

You need to check with your childcare provider regarding child to adult ratios. It seems to me that there is a lack of supervision. There should be an adult with the handwashers, and at least one more with the children who are in the waiting group. At the very least, this is the time to put in a short sing-a-long video, so the attention of the children is focused. When I worked with a church run child daycare, this is the time of day that we tried to have a volunteer grandparent in the room...there are just some times during the day that another pair of adult hands is a real plus.

Answer 5

And what is the reason you have your child in nursery school? What was that? To learn? hmmmmmm...

If you wish for your child to be taught differently, keep the child at home! That way when the child does go to school, she will not pay attention, will not have manners, and will not learn. Gee, that sounds like the ingredients of future ADH drugs...

Answer 6

god, u typed so much, i honestly didnt have the patience to read the entire question!!  the kid is probably right!!  give her a break !!!

Answer 7

wait until she order

Answer 8

When there are large groups of kids and one teacher, there is a lot of time where the kids have to wait for the teacher to get everything ready for everyone. Your daughter will get used to it as time in school and daycare progress. They usually keep children of the same age group together and no 3 year old is good at waiting. Its not surprising that the other kids have problems with this too. Give her a small coloring book and a 5-10 pack of crayons to keep with her to keep her busy when the teachers are too. Good luck...BE PATIENT

Answer 9

patience is the best thing to each kids becuase then when they grow up they wont be all hot-temper

Answer 10

You would make a better teacher.  Children at that age are still babies and not yet organized.  That's quite a long time for a child at that age to sit still.  Self discipline comes gradually and teachers should know

this.  Reading to them and making it interesting and fun is what the teacher should be doing.  

It's not your child that is at fault.  It's the so called teacher and her method that is not working.

Think about taking your child out of this nursery school for about 6 months.  Maybe she will do better at that time and comply with the teacher's rules.

If not, don't worry about it.  Enroll her later in Kindergarten school and I'll bet she will do beautifully.

Answer 11

bring her for christmas shoping where the stores are packeddd that'll teach her patience; wating on line for hours haha.

Answer 12

Try having her at home sitting at the kitchen table eating a snack and set the kitchen timer for when she can be done.

Try having her do activities one at a time for certain time limits with a timer..

-coloring (20 mins.)

-television(10 mins.)

-dolls (10 mins.)

etc... this will help her improve patience by something she actually wants to do.

If she moves when she is not supposed to take her back to her seat or area...

Repetition is the answer!

Answer 13

every little kid is like that, even me and my younger sister.

Answer 14

Give up the card games and teach her sudoku

Answer 15

patience is a virtue!

Answer 16

She should be allowed to do something stimulating while all this waiting is happening, it sounds as if the nursery and her aren't a good match for each other.  Have you tired looking at other ones in the area? If switching schools isn't possible have her start practicing her patience at home.  If she will be excited about going somewhere tell her about it 5 minutes or so in advance after she is dressed with shoes on, gone to the bathroom, etc. Set a timer and tell her that when the timer goes off you can leave but mommy/daddy has some things to do first.  Ask her to make up a story or sing herself a song.  As she gets better at waiting to do things by occupying herself with singing or talking you can increase the time by a few minutes.  Hopefully she will get better at being patient.  

Does she get impatient when waiting her turn for toys when she is playing with other kids, waiting for dinner, or waiting in line? You can try the timer or clock count down method (show her what numbers/where the hands will be when something will happen) that way she can see how much time she has left since a child that young doesn't have a concept of abstract time.

I would also look into how other schools in your area are run, while everywhere there is going to be some downtime, as a teacher that works with young children that seems like a lot of waiting at a lot of different times of day.  If nothing else, could you ask the teachers about letting them look at books while they are waiting, early literacy is always important and any good preschool teacher will know that and might accept your suggestion.

Answer 17

Think they are going a bit over the top on discipline, why would you make a 3 year old sit around doing nothing, even if there is no structure activity they could amuse them selves quite happily.  2 or 3 minutes is a long time for a child of that age to sit quietly, I'd be going nuts after about 5!

Answer 18

all children are different and there are often large age differences even at nursery school. i feel they are expecting too much from her. after all time outs should only be a minute per year at over three so how can they expect a three year old to sit for 20!. They should be giving her a book or some activity to amuse her self with. I would get the back up from my health visitior and then tell them!

Answer 19

I would look into another program, if it were me. Anyone who is good with young children know that they aren't able to sit with nothing to do for long periods of time.

Answer 20

teach her what waiting is

besides its normal at this age

Answer 21

patience is good, but so is a HEALTHY environment!

I mean, I know it is hard to work with children, and there is going to be some down time and transitional periods, but teachers should never chastise a child for getting bored, when they aren't giving their active little adventurous minds something to do.

I would look into a montessori school, or something that doesn't chastise children, but rather asks them why such behaviors aren't tolerable.

And as far as what you can do- she is only 3, and I am glad you realize that! If she acts up at home, you can just deny the fun she was waiting for... or delay it further- this teaching her than tantrums/ect won't do any good (saving you peace of mind in the future).

Answer 22

as a preschool teacher, I know that it is hard for children to sit still.... I wonder why they are making them wait so long? I teach 2 year olds, and the most I make them sit still during the day is 10-15 minutes, twice a day, for circle time. But they are doing activities, not just sitting. Maybe you should try a different preschool.... but I would first talk with the teachers/supervisor to see if there is a solution to your problem..

Answer 23

She will learn patience through 'doing'...she'll learn that good things happen when she waits and what she misses out on if she doesnt. You could always take her to parent and toddler groups and then she has you there for support and its less 'controlled' in terms of how long a child has to sit!

I agree 20 mins is long to sit and wat for snack...surely the children could help? We have snack bar so children choose when they are ready and how long they sit for before going back to play. They tend to sit for between5 and 15 mins now depending on how fast they eat and how long they like to talk :)

Answer 24

me 2