My daughter has missed recess every day this month, am I wrong for being mad at the teacher?

Question

My daughter was supposed to turn in homework calendar everynight, saying that she read for 20 minutes each night. She forgot or lost that thing at teh beginning of the month, and she has read every night, however since she hasn't turned that thing in, she has lost her recess every day.

Now she got in trouble here when I found out tonight, she told me...

However, I had a talk with the teacher about 2 months ago, I called her because my 2nd grader, was having a hard time remembering her homework sometimes, and is there a system to better help her, she has an extremely hard time concentrating.

I feel like after 2 days, I'll even give it a week, that she should have called home, so I am going up to that school tomorrow, I am walking so I wil not be so HOT when I get there.

Am I in the wrong for being so upset at her as well?

Answer 1

Oh yeah! I would be!! no matter why!! she is just a child!!! i would go and talk to the teacher and see if you can both come to an understanding... But dont argue, because this might just bring up more tension between your little one and that !@#@# teacher!

Answer 2

well are you going to argue with the teacher? i wouldn't advise you to argue. maybe a simple phone call will do. you should have given the teacher a note saying what the circumstances were. how would the teacher know if your daughter actually lost it or is making an excuse? so just clear things up with the teacher instead of arguing. it will put your daughter in a odd spot.

Answer 3

You have stated that your daughter has a hard time concentrating and remembering her homework. I am going to play the role of the devils advocate here, though I can understand where you are coming from.

If you knew that this was an issue beforehand, why not play an active role besides talking to the teacher. This is a classroom full of 2nd graders and I am sure that it can be hectic for the teacher.  My child has a learning disability and I make sure I play an active role in her education because if we as parents don't, then they slip through the cracks. I am not saying that your daughter has a LD but you have noticed this and in the best interest of your child you have to have a better relationship with the teacher for her sake. I know that can be hard. But also, children have to learn to be responsible and that there are consequences to everything. Her responsibility was to tell you or the teacher about losing the calender in the beginning.  Then it would have never gotten to this point. Who is to say that she told the teacher that she lost it. Think about that before you go in upset and hot with the teacher and have all the facts first. Kids do lie sometimes to. No matter how good we believe our children are. You never know. Good luck though.

Answer 4

The teacher should have sent a note home or something.  Obviously if she lost the form it wasn't going to magically appear each day that she didn't have it.  

I would make a point of talking to the teacher.  2nd graders at the end of the year are being held accountable for this sort of thing (we have the EXACT same requirement - I wonder if we're at the same school!) but it should have been obvious after a few days that the problem wasn't going to go away.  Why couldn't she have given her a new form?

Answer 5

u should just be mad mostly at the teacher b/c if u hav already known that ur duaghter did the h/w then the teacher should hav made sure that she wasnt on punishment on wat u had cleared up on.

Answer 6

Had a little trouble keeping up with what you were saying, but it sounds like you're upset because the teacher didn't come to you sooner about the problem with your child's homework. If that's the case, I think you're absolutely right!! She should have come to you so much sooner. A second grader needs to be followed and checked up on. How can a parent work out a problem if they are unaware there even is a problem? You should definitely talk to this teacher and if that doesn't accomplish anything, go to the principal or even the BOE. These are crucial years in your child's life. Kudos, for being involved.

Answer 7

No. Your not wrong for being mad at the teacher. In my sons second year he had a teacher that would have been much better suited to an older class. She gave inappropriate age punishments. Not many of the parents liked her. At one parent / teacher interview one of her students asked "Why don't you like me" and the teacher told her! Didn't even bother to deny it. My advice is to tread carefully, this teacher can and might make your daughters school life miserable.

Answer 8

They are trying to teach her to take care of things her self. If she new that was do then she should of made sure it was there. My grand kids lose recess all the time, But their memory has gotten a hole lot better sense the first of the school year. Let the teacher do their job and you will find out that you got a pretty smart kid there. So take that walk in the morning and cool off and when you get to school ask the teacher if there is anything you can do to help her out to have your child do what is expected of her.

Answer 9

It seems a bit strange.  The teacher should have given your daughter a new form to fill out when your daughter lost it.  It seems unfair on your daughter when she has done the homework.

As for remembering homework, perhaps the teacher should help her write it down in a diary so she can remember to do it.  Does your daughter have an attention problem?  There are solutions to this and specific ways of learning.  The teacher should know about this.

Answer 10

its obvious that the teacher doesn't like your child. No teacher would inflict ostracization on any child they liked. I'd be talking to the principal about getting your girl into a different class and making sure that she isn't punished further. This kind of thing happened to my son years ago, and he was barely passing. when he was put into another class, it was discovered that he wasn't 'slow' at all, but actually  one of the smartest kids in the school but the teacher had been turning his desk away from the class, because he 'answered back'

Answer 11

If you have a child that doesn't lie and and has a very good sense of time regarding how many weeks ago something happened.  Yes, I would be very upset. Your first question to the teacher should be said in a calm way, asking exactly how many days of recess did your daughter miss this month.  Incase your daughter was wrong, not saying she lied, but you don't want to start yelling at the teacher if it's all a misunderstanding.  They love to gossip about that in the teacher's lounge.  You don't want to be on that list, they exaggerate things.  

If you're sure your daughter actually has missed recess for about 13 days, then you are right to be mad about not getting a note after the 1st day.  That is such an unreasonable punishment, I'd tell the teacher how wrong it was, but in a firm/calm way (it can be done without screaming). Then go talk to the principle about it, because that teacher isn't reasonable.  

Sheesh...kid's need to socialize at recess. She didn't fall behind in important homework that she needed to finish,  The way she was isolated and alone seems almost abusive and it could give her anxiety issues or kids could start making fun of her.  Maybe you could threaten to homeschool, (because they'll lose about $3000 from the state they don't want to lose you). Basically tell the teacher you will give your child a punishment at home, if she writes a note about the very minor incident. You can mention your plans on giving your child chores that will teach her responsibility, like setting the table or folding clothes. Then the next day write her a follow up note about it, just so it's in writing.  You might have to go to the school board about this or future incidents, start taking notes with dates and everything.

Also, the school might be trying to get an Exemplary Reading Award some states are giving now.  My kid's old public school got one of those, which was a lot of baloney.  The school didn't deserve it because they gave out pizza parties, pajama parties... ect every week ONLY for the kids that filled out their forms.  A lot of parents admitted among themselves they were kind of forced to (fudge) lie about the reading minutes, so their kid didn't miss the Friday event with their friends. Schools can be quite manipulative when it comes to getting funding money and awards... so, you can't blame the parents for trying to make sure their kids don't cry at school.

I'd be pretty upset, too.  Hopefully you'll get an apology, then make sure you smile and say have a nice day (even though you'll still be mad).  You have to keep calm, because you don't want the teacher picking on your child again. It's a complicated game you have to learn how to play, you might have to wait patiently until the end of the year to contact the school board.

Answer 12

Unfortunately, your teacher probably DOES do all that she can to help your child at school. Your teacher cannot help your child with her homework - that's your job.

It's up to you to teach your child responsibility to do her homework, and for you to help her do it. There is no 'system' for your teacher to make your child do their homework. The 'system'' is you - the parent! If you're not willing to put in the hard yards to help your child with her homework, how can you even begin to expect that your teacher will want to put in the extra work to help her?

Answer 13

Definitely not!  I would have a hard time concentrating, too, if I didn't get some sort of break in the middle of my day.  I mean come on!  For our brains to function properly and work at their potential we should use them for 15 minutes and take a small break of at least a couple minutes so for her to go all day without some sort of "break" for her body and mind to clear itself it's no wonder she can't concentrate!!!  About the homework calendar, I would write everything down that she has done every night because you as the parent has been a witness to her work.  If that's unacceptable I would take it to the principal.  Kids need recess!

Answer 14

You are not wrong to be angry, but please don't act it when you speak to the teacher. There may be a personality conflict between your child and this teacher.

Be as unassuming as possible-ask her advice, document everything-keep a calender and write everything down-phone calls, notes, all information-tape record conversations if possible but don't let them know. Offer nice teacher gifts on holidays and just because days and finally- send your daughter in with a "special" note folder expressly for notes for and from the teacher. Teachers can be your ally or enemy. How they make your child feel about herself and learning now will determine whether or not her future profession involves paper hats and a polyester uniform with giant yellow letter M on the front pocket.

Answer 15

you are wrong to be upset with the teacher.  Your daughter lacks responsibility and there are consequenses for your daughter's actions.  And recess is a reward, not a neccesity.  Recess isn't going to help her get good grades or succeed in school.  Now you say your daughter has a hard time concentrating.  Did you ever think about testing for ADD/ADHD or other related conditions?  You need to talk to her doctor about what's going on and check to make sure.  If the results are negative, you need to step up to the plate and create an organized system for your daughter to get her work done.  Get a dry erase board and have your daughter bring home all of her papers and assignments each day...EVERY DAY and go through them.  Write what needs to be done on the white board and mark due dates on a calendar.  I did this in middle school when i was stressed.  Being able to visualize due dates and assignments can help decrease stress.  You need to follow up with the teacher regularly, say once a week, to monitor your daughters progress.  You need to take an active role in your daughter's education and teach her responsibility.  As a teacher, I've seen parents that dump their kids off at school and wash their hands of them and think of school as free day care and they take no interest in what happens.  I can tell you care about what happens to your daughter, which is good, but focus your frustration in helping your daughter.  She clearly has an issue.  The teacher is trying to hold your daughter accountable for her actions.

Answer 16

Heck no! That is your child and if you think this is wrong then you are 100 percent right! She is your responsiblity and you know what is best for your child!