My daughter is being bullied... advice please!?

Question

My 5 year old daughter is being bullied - name calling, kicking, lies being told, and it ended up with my daughter getting punched in the face so hard her nose bled. This is by 2 girls in her reception class - all aged 5!!

The school seem to be helpful enough - they are investigating at the moment so we'll wait and see what they come up with - but I need some advice on how to reassure my daughter as she's so scared of school and these girls and our reassurances that it's being sorted and she's safe seem not to work.

Thanks. x

Answer 1

I have to say if you want to stop this need proof this isn't provoked by your daughter. If it isn't then need to  teach your daughter to stand up for her self. a five year old shouldn't be that violent.  Must be being bullied at home. Need be may need to take the girls parents to civil court and sue them if it continues.  and threaten to sue the school for not protecting your daughters safety.  See what they say about this , if no punishment is taken for this and no teacher is willing to pay attention to this, then sue them. the girls parents and the school.

Answer 2

Make sure you carry this through, bullying can be seriously life changing, speak to the other girls parents, and also inform the head teacher who can tell all the other teachers to monitor it.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

My daughter was going through that its really hard, she is 8 now, they were calling her fat when she isn't fat,  She would eat anything and was scared to go school she kept telling me that she was ill to get out of going school.  What i did was have loads of meetings with the head of the school, everytime i was picking her up from school i would ask the her teacher was there any problems. Then she knows that you are doing your best.  Give her loads of love and cuddles.  Also what i did was buy a diary and put down any problems that have happened through the day in the diary and take it to the head with you.  Try not to ask her straight out whats happened to day at school.  Be as calm as you can and ask her did she have a nice day and take it from there.

Answer 4

This is disgracfull at that age and by girls you need to see if the school will put 100% in to this problem if in doubt tell them that you will not take your daughter to school until you are happy that its sorted.Good luck

Answer 5

this is really tough i had the same thing with my son he has autism and adhd and the other kids were so horrible to him make sure the school does there job and deals with it and doesn't just brush it under the carpet if you think the parents are approachable maybe talk to them about whats happening i hope you get it sorted soon because its heartbreaking seeing a child unhappy

Answer 6

hi i recently had a similar thing but it was  a teacher bullying my 8year old. the head said he would sort it and didnt.i had to go to the school and confront the teacher in front of my daughter and told her if she continued i would be seeking legal advice.i also removed my daughter from school until the head got of his butt and did something..the teacher no longer works there.

my advice go back to the school and tell them you want it sorting now or you will be contacting ofsted.

Answer 7

Ask her teacher to talk to her and assure her that they will keep her safe.  Right now, the teacher is an authority figure at the place she is worried about the most and she needs to hear it from them.

Answer 8

I don't know the answer to your real question (how to deal with your daughter to minimise the impact of this), but I do know from sad experience that nothing will really happen at the school unless you make them so miserable that acting on the issue will be easier than facing you daily.  DO NOT let up.

Answer 9

my advise would be to ask the school for a meeting with these girls parents.by the parents  reaction you will be able to determine if they are bothered by it or not.i know i would as a parent be devastated if my daughter was  bullying,and would take any advise given.and would work with you to try and sort this out.the prior name calling is proof that this has to be stopped now.

Answer 10

you need back up.ask the other parents if there children are also getting bullied.see the teachers as much as possible,good luck this must be a real nightmare x x x

Answer 11

go talk to the 2 girls parents when they get taken to school.

Answer 12

Your school should make the bullies apologise to your daughter, also make a promise that it will not happen again. Also your school should have a teacher, who can act as a councellor to your daughter. She may talk more to a stranger, thean to her own family.

Reassure your daughter, that you know it's a horrible experience, but thousands of people go through it. At the end of all of this, your daughter will have a better life and be able to put her past behind her.

I was bullied all way through high school and it was a good friend of mine, that i spoke to openly about and he helped me through it. I found I couldn't speak to my own family as I thought that they would think I was weak.

Good luck with whatever you do. Bullying is something that we all should be able to put a stop to, but it still goes on. Now people just thing that it's a part of growing up. The experience could stay with you for the rest of your life. I had my friend there to help me, now I deal with it in a positive way.

My son is 11 and he is being bullied so I have learned to pass my advice on to him.

Answer 13

Contact the police and file a report.....then write your MP....and contact your local newspaper. you should not stand for this....if it continues pull her out and look for a better school that cares, if they were doing their job right and watching the kids, this would not happen in the first place.!

Answer 14

This happened to my beautiful little girl last year, she was in Kindergarten and had a bully...another 5 year old in her class.  She was made fun of for wearing glasses etc.  I had enough and told the teacher.  The teacher did nothing.  I had lunch with my daughter as often as possible.  The little girl started in on my daughter in front of me!!!  I knelt down and looked at her straight in the eye and told her that she was no better than my daughter and that she'd better leave her alone.  I gave her one h**l of a nasty look and that was the last time she bullied my daughter.  

The next step is to insist on a parents meeting with the head of the school.  Call the police if that doesn't resolve it.  Usually at this age a little bit of humility goes a LONG way.

Answer 15

Fantazam is correct, someone has'nt been doing their job! Thats appauling, your poor daughter must be so scared, well she needs to see justice done, to see that what they did is so wrong, and they really need to bring in the other girls parents on this issue.

Answer 16

Put her in a martial arts class that teaches self-defense. That will help her gain some confidence - she will learn how to deflect kicking and punching, anyway.

The school needs to provide discipline/correction to the kids who are antagonizing your daughter, but it's not going to stop until your daughter stops being the victim. I know she's only 5 and she's not to blame in any of this, but she really has to stand up for herself.

Think in terms of helping her develop "exit strategies." Rehearse empowering statements and postures with her. Teach her that she can take control of the situation away from these girls.

She needs to learn how to make an angry face (not a scared face) and say, "You are NOT allowed to treat me this way!" She needs to practice glaring at these girls, eye to eye and then calmly and proudly striding away. She needs to know that when she sees those girls coming up to her, she should calmly and deliberately walk up to the playground supervisor and politely ask, "What time is it please?" or start a conversation, such as, "You're wearing blue and that's my favorite color," or whatever. This isn't tattling but it is giving her protection and building her confidence at the same time.   She needs exit strategies for the classroom and the restroom as well, whether it's just saying, "Oh, I forgot something," and running to her backpack to diffuse the situation or firmly suggesting that if the girls have anything to say to her, they can say it in front of the teacher -- that sort of thing.

Answer 17

i'd keep on at the headteacher and get them to sort it out i've been through it with my son only last week if you cant get any answers and it still keeps happening write to the board of governors for action to be taken you must also try and encorauge her to tell her class teacher everytime there's an incident i really feel for your daughter i hope you get the matter resolved.

Answer 18

I think an apology from the "attackers" would help your daughter a lot... also, talking to the teacher so that your little one knows she's keeping and eye on her and she's available & willing to help her at anytime she needs... just a thought!