My daughter is exhibiting "obsession" issues...what do I do?

Question

Long story short......my 11 year old daughter insisted that her and this 12 year boy was dating. Keep in mind they never talked on the phone saw each other (other than at church) or went anywhere with each other. About three weeks ago the boy told my daughter that he just wanted to be friends and for the next couples of days she kept asking my son to find out why he broke up with her. Anyway...I have talked to her and my husband has talked to her but she still continues to have sort of an obsession for this little boy. I just found out today that she got my son to text the little boy's sister and ask him does he like her. She is shown so much love at home so I don't really understand why she's acting so needy...any suggestions?

Answer 1

never discourage the relationship.  invite the boy to spend time with the family, meet his parents, and support your daughter's choices.  encourage an open & honest relationship w/her & visit Planned Parenthood for some educational materials.

Answer 2

I agree with A M.  This problem in-and-of itselft may not be that big of a deal, but it seems like it may stem from some underlying issues your daughter has (perhaps the need to feel wanted/loved?).  Either way seeing a counselor would be beneficial.

Answer 3

Get her a counselor and nip this in the bud- fast.

Answer 4

uhhhh I don't know why someone suggested taking an 11 year old to Planned Parenthood. she is a child!!! just talk it out with your daughter and take her seriously. reinforce the idea that when boys really like someone, they call the girl and ask about them. she is obviously too young for a boyfriend. if you see this problem getting way out of hand, counseling might be beneficial.  

Answer 5

I also did this when I was 10 or 11 I was in 4th grade and was crazy about a little boy named Jeremy...but it wasnt because i didnt get enough attention at home i was just very insecure with myself and having him think i was pretty made me feel good about myself...maybe she has self esteem issues that you are un aware of and she needs to feel accepted by this boy and by him "breaking up" with her it has made her feel very insecure thus leading to the needy behavior..I think you should just remind her of all the things that is beautiful about her and remind her that she should never have to rely on anyone elses approval of her she should ony focus on loving herself

Answer 6

maybe it has to do with what her friends and girls on tv are doing. she wants to be like that. explain to her that she is too young and all that dating and relationship has too much drama for someone her age.

ask her to focus on more important things. get her into some hobbies. an after school class or a art project at home to her mind off.

keep her mind off of him.

good luck!  

Answer 7

okay, i think every girls very very first "boyfriend" or whatever is difficult when they "break up". when I was about 10 i was crushed when my "boyfriend" broke up with me and i was asking everyone why he broke up with me and that i couldn't live without him.

honestly, she's a p*****n and from now on, it's gonna get tuffer.

i would honestly give her the "there's plenty more fish in the sea" talk. my mom basically told me "sweetie, boys are gonna come and go and believe, you'll probably have a lot of boyfriends and they will break your heart, but you'll probably break some hearts too. there are plenty more fish in the sea"

Good luck!