My daughter is extremely shy around people, how can I help her learn to talk for herself more?

Question

I have identical twins who are seven years old and one of my twins is extremely shy and reserved and will not speak at all without her sister or myself by her side. She wont even speak at school at all unless her sister is next to her. My other daughter is much more outgoing and is kind of the leader of the two and will often talk for her if she doesn't want to talk. How can I get my shy daughter to learn how to talk for herself and not always be so dependent on her twin or me?

Answer 1

Tell her theres nothing to be shy about.. and just think when anithing happens it wud pass through so there wont b anithing to b shy of... and talk to other people is a gift dat us people have ... we should make our gift usefull and talk more

Answer 2

I was so shy when i was young that i couldn't even bring myself to ask my mom for something, for ex. if we were on a road trip and i had to go to the bathroom i would just hold it rather than speak up. i was that shy. i have a younger sister who also would do all the speaking for me.nobody ever pushed or tried to make me come out of that shyness.I grew up and guess what, of all things i became a police officer, than went on to become an ordained minister, where i have spoken to groups of up to 300 +.my point is as she matures she will come out of it don't try to bring her out of it as it will only make her more shy and will withdraw.

Answer 3

I think the best thing you can do is be supportive and let her have a little time to warm up to people before she speaks to them.  I highly recommend a book called, "The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child."  It's very insightful, and probably at your local library.

Answer 4

Check out www.selectivemutism.org.  My daughter wouldn't speak at all at school (had no twin to help out) even if she was bleeding or hungry or being bullied or needed to use the bathroom or something.  She had a form of social anxiety disorder called selective mutism.  Whether your daughter is actually selectively mute or not, she might benefit from some of the same techniques used to help selectively mute kids.  Some kids do end up needing medication and a few simply never talk in some situations, but others benefit from behavioral therapy and manage to talk when all pressure to talk is removed (to remove the anxiety part of the equation) and then incentives are offered for very small progress (whispering a single word, etc.).  After a couple years of very intensive work with her and one really wonderful teacher who helped a lot, my daughter can now be found raising her hand to answer a question and walking down the hallway chatting with her friends.   She gave an oral report at school in front of a big crowd this year and it actually made me tear up.  Good luck to you.

Answer 5

Try to be patient there's lots of adults who are even  shy I think the best thing to do is just encourage her. By her having a twin that's not shy that will help her as well for example my son that's 12 is shy and my 9 year old  son is far from shy and when they play with other kids my 9 year old initiates the talk not long after my oldest son is talking a lot more.