My daughter is feeling left out.?

Question

Neighborhood friends are grouping to make my daughter look bad because of a swimming pool. She is left out and listening to everyone yell and scream having a great time. In the mean time the parents are my friends saying my daughter is the problem. I know it is a lie. Give me advise as a teen. She is 10. I dont want to make her look like a fool.

Answer 1

Well, why are the other kids in the nieghboorhood discluding her?  Why are even the parents bad-mouthing her?  Did she do something that would make people look at her in a bad way?  Or is it just some typical teen personaility trying to be mean, to be cool?  

I think that you need to make sure that your daughter didn't do anything to make the kids not want to play with her.  Then look at the parents, maybe their children told them something that your daughter did so they don't want her hanging around their children, even if you know it's a lie.  Who knows?

Well I think you need to talk to the parents and figure this out, we don't know the whole story so what can we do to help you?  Just talk to the parents and then explain how all this is making you and your daughter feel.. But don't say that your daughter is upset or something that would make her look like a baby because then some kid would make fun of her even more.  Just rationally discuss it like parents do, so no hard feelings are there.  And try to get to the bottom of this so your daughter can once again play with all the other neighborhood kids.

I am a teenage girl and I know what it's like to be left out.  It doesn't feel good and seeing the other kids play makes it even worse.  So as a mtoher you need to be there to comfort your daughter when she is hruting over this, tell her it's okay and just sit with her and talk if that's what she needs.  But you need to let her talk about it, just listen.  And if she crys let her cry.  Because if you were to say something about her feelings she would feel even worse and probably hide her feelings and not open up and then later on in her life she'd have a bunch of hidden and built up anger and she may use that negativity negativley.  So, my point, just talk with her before you talk to the parents so you have the full story on her side and you know what to and what not to tell the parents.

Good luck and I hope I could help!!

Answer 2

get her out of that poisonous neighborhood!  we girls have enough problems with our self-image as is.  if she wants to swim, have her join synchronized swimming.  those were the best years of my whole childhood.  you you get to see them all the time and and you all depend on each other and you become really close.  and make sure she tries out different teams so that she can find the one where she best fits in.  it's a ton of fun.  and if synchro isn't for her, then choose something else that is.  but a sports team is great. justt make sure it's kind of small or breaks off into small groups.  otherwise the competition becomes nasty and the team gets really divided (for example, doing speed swimming.  it's too individualized and the coaches play favorites).  just get her involved somewhere else than your neighborhood.  

and watch how your daughter is interacting with people.  she may be doing something to drive them away without really meaning to.  my friend had that problem.  she was just really socially awkward and came across as rude.  most people wouldn't talk to her or hang out with her.  it turns out she has Asbergers(?)  which makes it really difficult for her to interact with other people.  she got help and now it's much easier.  she actually joined a sorority this year!  

good luck! i hope things improve for your daughter!

Answer 3

ok this is coming from a teen to.  I am going through a similar situation but one of the parents of one of my so called friends gave her some good adivse and that was to stay out of it if at all possible because by the time you get involed they will be friends again.  And i know you want to cause my mom did to but she has learned to just let me rant and rave to her and voice her opinion once or twice and let me deal with the rest.  It will make her tougher and she will find out who her true friends are. Trust me

Answer 4

Psh, who cares about those neighborhood kids? Me and my bros don't go out to the other kids AT ALL and nobody hates us. If she WANTS to be friends with them, she should just go over and talk to them about something they all have in common with