My daughter is overweight and I am not getting any support from her father or his family on the issue.?

Question

She is 8 years old is 5ft tall, wears an 8.5 shoe & weighs about 147.

My husband and I are keeping her active, in sports, being good role models, and supporting her in becoming & staying healthy. Her father is morbidly obese, as is his whole family. I have provided them with information from her doctor about her weight & childhood obesity. This has not helped them to relize that she needs exersize & healthy foods. My next step is to take her to a specialist.

How do I get these people to see what they are doing to my child?

Her aunt has had gastric bypass & is gaining her weight back! Why can't they see the problem?

Answer 1

One of the best ways to loose weight is to run or bike everyday for an hour. And you may not know but your daughter might be getting overweight because of the liquids she drinks. Make sure she only drinks water and NO sugary drinks. If she eats celery she can loose weight faster than not eating anything at all. I hope I helped!

Answer 2

This hits home for me...My daughter is 8 and wheres a 6 womens shoe and weighs 125...she is really beautiful but she struggles everyday.  I really try hard to keep her healthy and keep her on track.  You have to maybe put in her head that she can tell her dad, "dad I want to eat better so I can feel better about myself"  tell her when he says it's ok to have 2nd helpings or pop and candy that she needs to think twice...I know thats difficult too....I am overweight as well and her dad is overweight....however I excersise with her and try to teach her when shes with me.  Shes already jealous of her sister who is stick thin and only 4yrs old....This world is hard to live in when your an overweight kid....I wish there was an affordable weight loss program...anyway good luck I know it's very hard

Answer 3

It almost seems like you are blaming your husband and his family for your daughters obesity. It's good that you are keeping her active and excersizing with her and her father needs to understand that he is killing his daughter by feeding her such foods.  

Answer 4

that's not that bad gosh your makin' her sound like a flippin' giant...

but it really doesn't matter if she's a little overweight it's not like she's gonna die she only 8 and she shouldn't be worried about that kinda stuff so you shouldn't talk about it in front of her and 5ft tall is pretty tall for an 8 year old and if you didn't want her to be overweight than you should of thought about that before you got pregnant cause if he's overweight than its obvious that she's gonna be over weight and you should.nt talk about his side of the family cuz that's really non of your business but she'll alwayz be chubby cuz it runs in his side of the family...

...Sorry...

Answer 5

I'm assuming you share custody of your daughter with her father?

You may want to talk to a child custody lawyer.  It sounds like you've tried talking to them about it, maybe try bringing her father along to her next doctors appt. so the doctor can talk to all of you about it, so everyone's on the same page.  

I would definitely see a specialist either way, because your daughter is genetically related to a family that has extreme weight problems, so there might be an underlying medical problem like hypothyroidism or something less common that you'd want to rule out first.

Size 8.5 shoes is quite large, she is probably going to grow up quite tall, so it's probably more important for her to be getting all the nutrients she needs instead of doing any extreme dieting to lose weight.

Answer 6

This is very difficult, trying to tell the fathers family about your child's problem and what you think may ultimately lead them to believe that that's how you feel about them. it is obvious that you would be concerned about this as obesity in children is a very serious problem, it seems like your trying to do the right thing by making her do exercise, and having a healthy diet. but if she has a role model that is also of large stater she won't notice that there is a problem, as she gets older and hits 10 things like weight becomes an issue, she will compare with friends and will want to do something about it. so you should try and have this problem under control by then. Personally I think your doing the right thing by targeting the father he should not only try to help himself if wants to but support you in having a happy HEALTHY daughter. You should try to explain the problems with obesity without scaring anyone as it can be a very sensitive subject. but if talking about it alone does not work a dietitian may be your only answer.

Answer 7

stop feeding the poor girl and dont buy junk food

Answer 8

I get the message.  You hate your ex-husband for what he is doing to your daughter.  Just pass the buck.  My son is overweight and I take him swimming three times a week to do laps.  He swims them with me, so the message is: We are in this together.  In the past year he has gained no weight.  Try living by example instead of spreading more hate.

Answer 9

Even after telling them they do not understand then I would ignore them. You know that you are doing right so go ahead.. Take care of your girl... Obesity needs to be taken care as early as this otherwise things are mess later on. You are doing everything right ---- make sure you take control of what she eats and nobody else feed her junk food.  

Answer 10

well ur daughter is very tall for her age, she is more than i weigh, i am 13, 5'2'' and weigh 105. she will always weigh more because of the genes and because of her tall height, but 147 is 2 much. go to the specialist, ask for some help, its going to be harder for her to lose weight because of the genes, and it may be she has to take some pill or something, but ask the doctor. obviously there is no way her father is going to help, so its time for u to step up to the bat. good luck, and i hope this helps!

Answer 11

It's preety easy. While She's at home, Have her drink water instead of sugary soda,and juice. Fast food is junk, there's hardly any fiber In Mcdonalds. When you make her Lunch or dinner, to determine how healthy it is, look how much color is in it. You need variety, Color. Start packing her  a dinner, and sending her with it.  

Answer 12

Sometimes obese people can't see through all the Ding Dong induced haze that has fogged up their brain.

It sounds like she is in joint custody which makes things difficult because she probably eats like c**p whenever she's over there.  I'd just do my best to educate your daughter about proper eating and try and pack some healthy alternatives (carrots, fruits, etc.) the next time she visits her father.

Answer 13

Maybe you should talk to her and see how she feels is easiest for her to deal with the situation.  If daddy doesn't want to help, you two can do it on your own.  She probably wants to learn to help herself when you're not around, and you can help her with that.  Instead of letting her visit her father's side of the family, invite them over so you have the upper hand on fixing dinner.  I know its hard, but you have to address it to her about her health.

My little brother just turned twelve, and he is learning to watch his weight on his own.  He wanted it so badly, at a young age, I don't know what happened, but I'm worried he might have been picked on at school or something, but he is doing well.   He watches what he eats, and has self control to say no.  Of course he sneaks junk every now and then, but only when we have it in the house.  I remember when he came to visit and we had to rush dinner, so we ordered pizza.  I'd say he had 2 max, but by morning time a lot more was gone.

Just make it fun, eat healthy but make sure its filling, so she doesn't feel empty all the time.  Salads.. make it chicken caesar, nice big sandwiches (like subway).  My boyfriend loves that, he used to be big when he was younger too.  Do a little research, there lots of help out there, just be consistent and devoted.  Forget the other side of the family.  Make it a girls secret!  Make it fun, so it doesn't overwhelm her.  It's okay to have sweets and junk every now and then just limit yourselves.  Do it with her.  

Answer 14

My cousin was very obese as a child, as was his mother, and most of her family, and his father was always trying to help, but nobody would help him! We tried to help, but nothing worked. My uncle decided to feed him four smaller meals a day, and proper portions, and healthy food. He followed the food guides, and on special occasions, or once a month, he got to eat some junk food. It didn't work until now. He's 13, and isno longer obese. Sometimes they say he just had to grow into his weight! Just make sure you comfort her, and don't try to treat her special, because you want her to feel normal, which she is, and don't want to hurt her self-esteem. Good luck, and I hope I could help! <3

Answer 15

Its gentic! You need to take him to court

Answer 16

The longer she remains overweight, the harder it will be for her to get down to a healthier weight.   Granted, she's very tall for her age, but because of her size she is very likely to go through early puberty, much sooner than she's emotionally ready for it.

However, if she is only with her father two nights a week, she is with you and your husband the majority of the time.  If out of 21 meals a week only two meals are fast food, that in itself will not make your daughter gain weight.   Just make sure that the 19 meals within your control are healthy ones.  

Since your husband's entire family is morbidly obese, it is likely that some of your daughter's problem is genetic.   The best you can do is to see that she stays healthy by eating healthy and exercising when she is WITH you.   Love and accept her as she is.  

Answer 17

You talk as if you're not a part of the child's life, take the bloody food away from her and kick her fat father up the ars*e. she doesn't need a specialist, there's no mystery illness here.

Answer 18

Give her water to drink instead of soda

Give her less food

Don't give her refined carbohydrates (white bread, crisps, white rice, ect) because they increase appetite

Edit: Get her to watch lots of poppy TV with super thin lead females. S-s-s-s-socailcontitioning

Answer 19

tell them exactly what you posted i just wouldnt say it in front of her bc it would probably hurt her feelings

if she reaalizes shes fat and has told you<<ask her to start a diet but deff. nvr be mean and accept what she wants to do

the docter would probably be the best thing

Answer 20

If you guys don't do something now she'll have major health problems later in life when she's an adult. =(

It could be genetic, though. At least some of it. Try to make her even more active in sports and get her to eat less and healthier. Maybe consider making her vegetarian? Don't eat that much meat, bread, or sweets-eat more fruit and vegetables. Taking her to a specialist would be a good idea so you can get more advice on how you can help your daughter and if you have the money. It will take a lot of time and effort to help her lose weight, but I'm sure if you guys work hard at it she'll be able to. =]

They probably can see what their doing to your daughter, but they just don't WANT to think it. Maybe they are too lazy to take care of the problem. =(

Answer 21

They see and know there is a problem. They choose to do nothing about it, and nothing you do will "make" them see  anything. The sad thing here is that their continued enabling of her to indulge in unhealthy lifestyle doesn't amount to child abuse or neglect, so complaining to the court probably won't do you any good. All you can really do is encourage your daughter to make good decisions and live healthy despite what the other bad influences are in her life.