My daughter is suddenly scared of her room, how can we get her to sleep?

Question

For the past three weeks or so my daughter , ( 2 years old ) has been really scared to go to bed, or even be alone in her room. I don't know why she suddenly hates it there, but she will not fall asleep in her own bed, which she has been doing for over a year now. We never had any trouble of her going to bed or sleeping through the night.

I don't know what to think about it, when she wakes up in the night she is crying & shaking, for her nap during the day she won't even go into her room, she just stays up until she falls asleep in random places because she is so tired.

We tried leaving the light on, allowing her to play till she falls asleep, but it doesn't help, it always ends with her crying & screaming herself to sleep, which i hate, i want to be there for her, help her, but it doesn't work, if we stay in her room with her she simply won't go to bed, & she doesn't sleep in our bed.

The crying herself to sleep thing won't be okay for much longer, as we are expecting another baby any day now.

what can i do to make her happy again,

is it normal that she suddenly gets this scared? is this a normal phase or did something happen to scare her?

Answer 1

You could try changing rooms to show her there is not problem. It can sometimes be quite small things that start to scare children as they develop their imagination. If she sees you are safe, it might assure her.

Answer 2

All mine went thru this and it is easier said than done to ignore them.  You have to find out why first then fix it did maybe she get bit by something in her bed (spider or ants) is she scared of monsters--I tried a old febreeze bottle and taped alabel over it and wrote monster go away spray on it and let her spray it under her bed and in the closet and that worked wonders no more crying.  Hope this helps

Answer 3

wow, I'v never heard of that before. Is it possible that something has scared her? Noises from the loft? Cat jump on her in her sleep? I hate to ask this, but you're sure no-one has approached her in her own room in a way they shouldn't?

It's a pain in the bum, but why don't you try giving her room a makeover? We recently let our daughter choose her own paint (with some encouragement away from the brighter colours!) and we drew love hearts all over her wall with stencils. She loves her room now and is very happy to go to bed there. Even just rearranging the furniture may help, making it look like a different room?

Try spending some time in there with her during the day, doing fun stuff. Even just reading books together or playing might help.

Good luck.

Answer 4

is it the dark? have you tried nightlights you can get nice disney ones.

it seems she is getting her own way have you tried giving her a teddy bear and when taking her to bed tucking mr teddy in aswell and saying teddy will go sleep with her? so she thinks she not on her own? you shouldnt let her play because this will just encourage her not to go to sleep. also have you tried playing a tape ( rosie and jim or something sinilar ) or a disney video for her to fall asleep to?

Answer 5

She is crying because she has learned that's what gets her what she wants, if you stop responding when she's crying in her room, she'll learn to just fall asleep there. I know it's going to be hard not to help your child , but it's kind of a necessary training method.

Answer 6

It doesn't have to be monsters, the simplest things freak little kids out. The dark can be pretty terrifying, as can strange noises, dodgy shadows... Could she have simply had a bad dream one night? Or a night terror?

My daughter went through this at about 2 1/2, she suddenly became very scared of her room, would either refuse to go to bed or not let me leave until she was asleep, then would wake screaming in the night and would only settle in my bed. And no, it is not fun trying to sleep with a wiggly kid.

If she won't tell you what is wrong, if I were you I'd speak to your health visitor just to reassure you and keep on trucking, but be resolved to solve it. Bedtime should be as cosy as possible, just keep on the sweet talk and don't play to her too much, you know her room is safe don't let her feel you have any doubts about that but she is not being silly. Why not try letting her choose some new bedding or a new nightlight, you say she is already but really make an effort to make her proud of her room, put some of her new pictures up, spend time playing in there (sneaky games that involve lying on the bed and pretend sleeping! Oh wake up princess, its time to dance! When all the cows were sleeping etc..).

Maybe you could try staying at a relatives for a couple of nights - just for a change to distract her and when you get home maybe change the routine slightly, maybe have stories and drink in a different room. Then be firm, normal bedtime, she cries, give her a few minutes, then put her back to bed and tell her its bedtime, then leave, and keep doing it! Again, and again and again.. It's very hard and requires oodles of patience but it's your choice, now or with a new baby..

And remember the extra extra big hugs for the big girl she is for when she does sleep properly. And she will. Everything is a phase, she used to sleep there fine and she WILL do again. Sometimes you have to be firm to be kind, her being tired all day is good for noone, her especially. Bedtime is bedtime not messing around time.

By the way with my daughter is three now and over the past six months has spent god knows how many nights in my bed when I gave in :P, but they slowly decreased and now I see her when she comes to wake me with a big cuddle - in the morning! She is exceptionally proud of being a big girl who can sleep all night through in her bed.

And it turned out by chance that what had freaked her out in the first place was a friends older child playing in her room pretending to be a snake on her bed. One night my daughter was getting settled in bed and suddenly sat up and said - there's no snakes in my bed- with a kind of aren't i so silly look! I had no clue..and she's always liked snakes!

Good luck, she'll get there. She did it before, she can blumming well do it again!

Answer 7

Kill the monsters under her bed.  They’re probably terrorizing her, or talking her ear off.  How is she supposed to get to sleep?!

Either that or give her a good stiff drink before bed.  Monsters are always a little more tolerable after I’ve had a few.

Answer 8

Well, you may try asking her what she is scared of first. (This is what I do to younger kids that I babysit.) Take just a reagular spray bottle and label it- what ever she is scared of "go-away spray." For example, I had a child that thought there was monsters in her room and no matter how many times I tried to convince her that there weren't I found this technique and made "Monster-Go-Away Spray" and just filled it up with water and sprayed it in her room!  

Answer 9

hmm how strange....?  i'm just thinking, maybe she's testing you to see how you'll react because you're expecting a new baby (congrats btw!) and she wont be the only baby any more?

also tied to that, she might not want to miss anything you and dad are doing? and she wants to be your baby still?

could you change the routine a little bit maybe so she doesn't link the drink and book to screaming?

maybe have a 'sleepover' in her room? so you go to bed on her floor with her at bedtime.

i dont know.... but good luck x*x

Answer 10

My friends daughter was like this for a while and it turned out that a poster she had on the wall of Fifi and the whatever its called looked really strange in the moonlight and was really freaking her out.

They took the poster down and now she is fine.

If this doesn't help though, how about spraying or having some lavender pillows in her room to calm her sleep, this works for me and I used to suffer with really cranky nightmares.