My daughter just had emergency surgery she had a blood clot and blood in her brain from an accident at school?

Question

thank God she is doing well at home but every day she cries during the day,,she feels self consious because they had to shave some hair off plus she has alot of swelling in her face,,she is stuck in the house she wishes she was me ect. her friends have been coming over every day and have been wonderful,, i have been trying so hard talking to her,,does anyoe have any experience with children and the emotional aspects of it on them afterwards??? she has all the mirrors covered up with sheets in the house because she doesn't want to look at herself

Answer 1

I'm very sorry that your daughter is going through this.

You know, and she probably knows intellectually too, that the swelling will go down and her hair will grow back.  The emotional fallout from an unexpected, probably life-threatening, and debilitating surgery is likely to be as much due to the shock and the suddenness as the physical effects.  That's not to minimize the physical aspect, you understand, but I suspect that there is more than that involved.

You don't say how old your daughter is, but I'll assume she's no older than typical college age, and it sounds like she had been well before this accident.  It's not easy for a young person to come up against the idea that they, too, are mortal.  

It is wonderful that both you and her friends have been there for her.  I'm going to suggest that when she is physically up to it, that you arrange some counseling for her with a mental health professional who deals with her age group and has experience with serious illness.  Although I certainly hope that any danger is over, it can be very difficult for a young person to come to terms with something like this happening to them.  Someone who is not directly emotionally involved with her and who has training in dealing with the psychology of medical issues could be of great value to her.

I wish you and your daughter all the best, and hope she has a very quick and complete recovery.

Answer 2

Try talking to her about her qualities that are not reflected by her appearance.I know that doesn't always work.Try showing her some pictures of successful,confident,beautiful  bold women or if you can't get pictures just give them as examples.

Answer 3

Why are you asking us?

You're a mother, give her support, but don't get too close.

Buy her something nice, but not something that pertains to her condition.