My daughter still wets her bed?!?

Question

Well here is the deal: My daughter wets her bed every night here at home, but when she stays at her aunts house she goes all night without an accident! It irritates me alot I have tried not saying anything to her and not pressuring her, giving her rewards, making a rewards chart with her, cutting off her liquids an hour and a half before bed time, getting her up and making her go before I finally go to bed. Why can she hold it there all night and not with me?! What is the deal has anyone else had this problem? The difference her and at her aunts is she has a twin bed there and a toddler bed here. We are upgrading her in 2 weeks? Could that be the difference? HELP I am so tired of the messes and smell!

Answer 1

I would ask the aunt what she's doing....does she have a nightlight? (maybe your daughter's afraid of the dark)  Does she make her go pee right before bed?  Does she limit liquids after a certain time?  See if there's any other variables (sorry, I'm an engineer...that's how I think).

Answer 2

Sounds like your daughter didn't do it at your aunt's for fear of embarassment.  She's either extremely comfortable or extremely lazy in your home, lol!  I know you haven't been saying anything to her, but maybe now's the time to start.  Maybe she doesn't believe you think it's a big deal or a hassle because you don't say anything.  Start making her help pull the sheets off her bed, make her change her own pajamas, etc.  If she has to do the work, she's going to be much more likely to start trying herself not to wet her bed.

If all else fails, start setting your alarm and getting up every three hours during the night and making her go into the bathroom.  I know that is a huge hassle and might cause you a little bit of sleeplessness, but she'll get the idea, and very quickly.

Answer 3

Is the room that she sleeps in at her aunts house closer to the bathroom? Ask the aunt if she does anything that would effect that. But if she keeps wetting at home, but her in nighttime diapers and if she's doing it to make you mad or to be funny, she'll stop once the diapers are on. Kids hate being put in diapers. How old is your daughter? About the twin bed and toddler bed thing, she probably wakes up in the night and can't get out of her bed to get up and go to the bathroom. But in a twin bed with no bars, she can get out and run to the bathroom. I think upgrading her bed is a good idea. Hope I helped!

Answer 4

First off, its just as unpleasant for her as it is for you.. I doubt that she would do it to get back at you. At the age of 4, there really is no concern whatsoever with her wetting the bed at night. A doctor wouldn't even be that concerned if she was still having daytime trouble. She is only 4, still a toddler, and potty training principles are new to her. She doesn't have the higher reasoning that we do that would allow her to think "If I wet my bed, it makes more work for mommy".

I used to wet the bed when I was a kid (until I was 9), and I very rarely wet while I was out of the house. I can tell you exactly why too. It had nothing to do with a matter of "will", as I never recall "wetting" the bed, I always woke up with it wet. The reason is simple.. when you are away from home (especially if you are a young child), you don't sleep as deeply because you aren't as comfortable with your surroundings. No matter how comfortable she seems, being away from home will disrupt her sleeping cycles.

The good news is, since she is having some dry nights (even if they are only away from home) it is a good indication that she is probably growing out of it, and you probably won't have a bed wetter.

I just want to ask as well, did you or her father wet the bed when you were younger? You may need to ask your parents, but bed wetting is largely genetic. Don't be surprised if you didn't, because at your daughters age over 30% of kids still wet the bed at least half the time. If one of you did wet when you were younger, there is a larger probability that she will be a bed wetter for at least a couple more years (likely about the same time you would have grown out of it).  

If it doesn't clear up, diapers/pull-ups make a lot of sense. They don't send a message of "permission" as many people think, because your daughter is unconscious when she wets the bed, so she has no idea if she is wearing a diaper or not. I mean, it comes down to the fact that if she hasn't been dry at night, why was she ever out of diapers? They make things easier for her because she gets a sound sleep at night, and they make things easier for you because you don't have to deal with the laundry. I understand that they are an extra expense, but so is the extra laundry. Regular (non pull-up) diapers cost a lot less, and since she is asleep anyways and probably not going to wake up to use the potty in the near future, they may be the best option. If she starts waking up in the night and wanting to take it off then you may want to switch to pull-ups or try just underwear at night.

Its not easy. Her Pediatrician will not be concerned at all until she is 6 or 7, as it is completely normal for kids her age. Just encourage her by letting her know how proud you are when she has a dry night, and NOT getting angry at her for wet nights. Hopefully she will grow out of it soon and it will be a memory that you can talk about when she is older and has kids of her own! Best of luck to the both of you!

Answer 5

She is still so young buy her pull-ups or goodnights that will

help with the mess.

Answer 6

maybe she likes the attention. or she's afraid of punishment from her aunt. or maybe it i the bed, perhaps she feels like a baby in it, their for feeling it is all right to wet the bed

Answer 7

This may be a significent question to answer your question, HOW OLD IS SHE?!