My daughter wants to have two weddings, one in the USA, one in Australia. Is this OK?

Question

We live in Michigan, his family lives in Sydney. Not just two receptions but two ceremonies! I think she is crazy but she has a friend that did this and it all worked out fine. What do you think?

Answer 1

i personally think that one is enough (it dont make sense to have 2 anniversary dates.)

Answer 2

Sounds a little hectic but I'm sure it's do-able. It will be more convenient for those attending obviously. Austrailia people won't have to fly here and visa versa. As long as it is planned well I don't think it would be that big of a deal.

Will you be attending both ceromonies?

Answer 3

You know usually I'm completely opposed to that.  But in the case of Australia and US--you would seriously be in a situation of deciding whose family is more important.  Does his family get to watch, her family, or have it in Europe and no one does?  When it's a situation like my family is in Texas and his is in Michigan, I think the bride and groom are seriously materialistic and that anyone who wants to travel can.  But seriously MOST of us CAN'T travel to Sydney Australia--even with a year's notice to save up!  That's a lot of money.

I see nothing wrong with it.  She wants both families to be important and get to witness her in her wedding dress.  Wear the same dress and save money where ever you can on decorations/flowers.  I think it's a very sweet idea to try to make both parents happy.  She sounds like she really wants to make this marriage work.

Answer 4

If the money is available, then I don't see a problem for it.

If we had things done my mother in law's way (whom I love with all my heart!) we'd have THREE ceremonies, the legal one we've already had, one in Puerto Rico (My family) AND on in Albania (where they are from, but no longer have family there, so I don't see why...?)

So far, I think we'll only have two.....

(We are planning a ROV for 2010, since our families didn't get a chance to see the first time around....)

Answer 5

hey, whatever works

Answer 6

Why would she want to spend so much money??

Answer 7

NO! god how much money do you have!?!? I would just have them pick a place that they both like and have it there.

Answer 8

It's ok, but i think the second ceremony would be awkward.

Answer 9

It's her marriage.  I don't see anything wrong with it,except the cost, but if they are footing the bill - that isn't really your worry.

Answer 10

Sounds expensive, but otherwise, why on Earth would the word "crazy" enter your mind?

Answer 11

ive done it! it was beautiful! i understands what shes going thru'!

Answer 12

I dont see why not.  wherever they plan to love would be the real and legal ceremony.  the second wedding they wont need a real licse or priets, just an officinat to go through the ceremony with them.  but everyone is entitiled to see the wedding.

Just be sure she doesnt expenct you to pay for both!

Answer 13

As long as she can afford it, she can do as she pleases. If neither family is able to travel to one location, it might be nice to have two small weddings so all the relatives can participate.

Do remind her to look into the legal issues - a marriage ceremony is a legal transaction (that's why the officiant needs to be licensed for the marriage to be legally recognized, and that's why married people get tax breaks and insurance benefits, etc). There are almost certainly regulations about length of residence that will need to be addressed, depending on which country the couple lives in, and other issues that should be addressed (for example, some countries require that a couple be married in a civil ceremony before a religious ceremony in order to be legally recognized). Doing some investigation beforehand will save her a lot of frustrating paperwork afterward.

Answer 14

You can't legally get married twice.

I guess they could redo their vows in the second location, and have it blessed or whatever if its a religious ceremony.  It seems fairly pointless to me.  I'd encourage her to go with two receptions, one ceremony, and use the money for the second ceremony to help get very close family all at the one.

Answer 15

A lot of people do this. A friend of mine from Texas fell in love with a German man, so they are having a wedding in Texas for all of her friends and family, than another in Germany where they will be living for all his friends and family.

kheserth: It's not about legality, but family and friends celebrating with you. It's like a vow renewal except thrown thrown like a wedding. A lot of intracultural couples have two ceremonies since oftentimes one will be legal for one culture, but not for another, so there are cases where it's not only legal, it's necessary.

EDIT: So many people are opposed to this...I'm not for people who go to the courthouse then have a huge wedding later, but this is different. Two different countries, for goodness' sake.

Answer 16

they should have a wedding that is neither in  michigan OR sydney, pobably work out cheaper than two seperate weddings!

OR have a small family ceremony then two massive parties/receptions in each place.

it kinda ruins the romance of it all if u have ot say ur vows for the second time once ur already married

Answer 17

It sounds as if your daughter is choosing to have two weddings to accommodate her fiancee's family. If so, that is a beautiful and respectful thing! It is important for both families to see the ceremony and celebrate. I think it is completely acceptable! I had a cousin who got married in Hawaii (ceremony and reception) with only her immediate family. Then returned to NY to have another local church ceremony and reception again! A coworker of mine married a Chinese woman. He flew to China to  have a traditional wedding there, and returned to the states (without her family) to have another ceremony and very small reception.

Nowadays anything goes! It's a matter of personal preference (and budget of course!).

Answer 18

maby if they could agree on a place, have 1 and have the other family fly out.

Answer 19

i think she just wants alot of attention

seriously one is enough

Answer 20

It's possible. Each country has its own laws under which marriages rites are conducted to be considered legal.

Only one will be legally recognized though. The couple has to decided which one.

Answer 21

Obviously not! How much money you want to waste!? One wedding is enough, dont ruin the moment by dooing it twice!