My daughter was adopted from Russia. She is now 9 years old.?

Question

We want to celebrate the date of her adoption by having a family "adoption day" to honor her. Do any of your adoptive parents celebrate in this way? If so, what do you do together to celebrate that day?

Answer 1

We do celebrate our adoption anniversary. I had a talk with my DS about it after reading some adoptee stories about why they don't like it. (I can sort of see their point of it being very adoptive-parent centric -- especially the term Gotcha Day. We started celebrating it before I thought that much about it. I'm trying my best to phase out the term Gotcha Day though!) At 7 years old, DS says he wants to celebrate it, so we will continue to do so, and revisit it at various points. If he decides he doesn't want to do it, I will certainly respect that.

We do not celebrate with gifts though.

After court (we also adopted from Russia) we bought some ice cream to celebrate. I believe it was the first time DS had ever tasted ice cream and he was immediately a fan. As our Adoption Anniversary celebration, we make top-your-own ice cream sundaes with all sorts of fun toppings (chopped cookies, candies, etc.)

We don't make the whole day a "big deal"... but we have an extra-special dessert to mark the occassion.

(DD is 3 and her ice-cream treat of choice is homemade ice cream sandwiches between chocolate chip cookies, so that's what we do on her adoption anniversary.)

Answer 2

I think celebrating her adoption is wonderful. With her being from Russia, I'd try to incorporate some Russian traditions, foods, etc. It's important for all children to be proud of their heritage.

My adoption date was a family day...we celebrated us being a family. We always did dinner and a movie...I got to pick.

Focus on celebrating the family...you'll be fine.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Erm... I am too young to be an adoptive parent but my cousins where adopted so i sort of no what i am on about.

          They celebrate it by going on holiday or having a little bit of a second birthday but the whole family gets presants instead.

Answer 4

No - and for me - I'm glad we didn't.

To be adopted - I lost my family of origin - and although that is an extremely happy experience for adoptive parents - it is also filled with loss for the adoptive child - as to have an adoption - a child must have lost a great deal.

Have a yearly family day - not on any specific date - just pick a month that works for the whole family. And honour the love of your family.

Seriously - adoption days and 'gotcha' days are all about the adoptive parents. Not really about the child.

Just my honest opinion.

Also - be aware that birthday's also can be painful for adoptees. (just giving you a head's up)

Not trying to bring you down - but many adoptive parents just have never thought about the whole implications of this - as so many just do it - and others follow along.

Here is an article written by an adoptive parent - putting things into a different perspective - relating to when you bring an adoptee to your home - I hope you will consider it's parallel to adoption.

http://www.a4everfamily.org/index.php?op...

I wish you and your family all the best.

Answer 5

just checking.. Is this the first year she will have been with you?

My husband's parents celebrated his adoption day, mine didn't.

Usually they just had his favorite foods, or went out to eat that night.

I think it's a neat idea, and we celebrate my son's adoption date as the date the agency was finally out of our lives, by going out to eat with his birthmom.

I think celebrating an adoption day is important, especially for a child adopted from abroad, because so often their birthdate is unknown, or fudged.  However, if your daughter has been with you for many years, starting to celebrate her adoption day now might be a little awkward... why this year, when we didn't celebrate LAST year?

Answer 6

I have a friend who has a Gotcha Day for her two girls she adopted from China, the youngest they just got this spring so she hasn’t had a Gotcha day yet. But it sort of like a 2nd birthday, they get some presents, do fun activates, go out to eat or have a favorite meal fixed.  Her oldest daughter loves it what kid wouldn’t getting presents another time a year.  I sort of wish my parents had done it for me.  Your daughters 9 years old so she should be old enough to decide  if she wants to have an ‘adoption day’ or just have it be a part of a family day.

Answer 7

i wasn't ever adopted but u could maybe bake a cake balloons

Answer 8

Many do, and call it "gotcha day".  I celebrate with my daughter and it is just a special day that we do something together.  Most of the time it's easy like lunch or dinner at someplace we have never been, or an outing we have talked about.  Even if its just an hour or two just special.  Enjoy!  S

Answer 9

You could celebrate by honoring her culture. I assume you traveled to Russia to get her. Perhaps you learned some Russian culture, food, etc. If not, find out. Let her be a part of it.

Show her how special she is. I'd keep it family only.