My daughter was in drug rehab and sober, I searched in her purse?

Question

and found pot last week and confronted her with it. She is angry with me. She is 21...lives with me.... She spent time in rehab and went thru tons of counseling for her addictions........Was I wrong to look in her purse? I smelled pot a few weeks ago in her room which prompted me to look...she claimed to have kept it in her purse. ... single mom

Answer 1

Tell her if she can't stay drug free and live by the rules of your house, she should pack her trash and move out on her own.  

Answer 2

You were right.."she" lives in your home...has to live by your rules.  If she wants her privacy..get her own place.  She is old enough to make her own decisions..but not in your home.  HUGS!!

Don't enable her addictions....TOUGH LOVE!!

Answer 3

If she's living under your roof and you are supporting her, I believe you have the right to look if you are concerned.  You want to make sure she's not harming herself and going back down the wrong path.  I can understand her anger...but I believe you did the right thing.  I was only 21 seven years ago, and I side with you.

Answer 4

wow. you have alot to handle there. my suggestion is ultimatum, stop or else sorta thing. tough love mom is whats best.

Answer 5

If she lives with you I think you have every right to search her stuff. She needs to know it's NOT ok to be doing that in YOUR home. If she is going to be doing it she needs to go back to rehab or move out.  

Answer 6

She lives under your roof, your rules.  You have the right.  If she would be busted while at your place, you could also be in trouble.

If she doesn't like being searched, then she should move.

She's not ready to give it up..looks like she needs more rehab

good luck

Answer 7

Being 21 she is an adult, however she is still your daughter no matter what her age and becuase you love her and know her past track record, checking up on her is not wrong in my opinion.  I don't think you did anything wrong...you just want to make sure she's ok.

Answer 8

If you had concerns for your daughter who's been though rehab for drugs, you did the right thing by looking in her purse. You found something she shouldn't be having, since she's supposed to be going off drugs.

Answer 9

In a way it was wrong but you were only looking out for her best interests.  She may not understand that right now but she will in the future.

Answer 10

It's your house. You are legally responsible for what happens in your house. If pot is illegal where you live, then the responsibility for having it in your house rests on you.

When your daughter shows you she can be trusted, you should trust her.

Answer 11

Regardless of whatever she has went through, she is an adult, and you are going through her purse.  You really think that's ok to do?  If I were her I'd be pretty angry with you too.  

Answer 12

she lives in your home...she has to live by your rules, I don't care if she is fifty, she still owes you the respect due someone that houses her.  if she doesn't like it, she is perfectly free to move out and take care of herself.  You might want to consider that you are enabling her if you continue to put up with her behaviors.

Answer 13

Try to enter her in the best rehab center, many people there can help her with such condition.

Answer 14

Do you know drugs are given to help drug addicts kick there drug of addiction.

Better then a rehab place is to find the cause of the need for self medicating. Many have had been raped or something they are dealing with. The addiction is just the outer side effect. Like a plant that has yellow leaves, you can see the leaves but can not see what is in the soil turning the leaves yellow, get it?

Many "drug addicts" today have had a long family history of family addiction. A mother,father,siblings with addictions or medical problems diagnosed or un diagnosed.

Since you asked if it was wrong to look in her purse, then you think it  was wrong and looking for someone to tell you it is ok. Only you can answer if it is ok to go through other peoples belongings.  

You yourself may want to get into counseling along with your sister. Might help you and your kid out as much as it will help your sister.

Wish you well.

Excuse me I thought this was your sister, but my words I stand by.

Answer 15

I do think it was wrong to go through her purse.  She is an adult.  It was an invasion of her privacy.  Surely she wasn't in rehab for pot?