My daughter was violated by another girl today. She kissed my daughter in the mouth. I am stunned. What to do?

Question

I am stunned at what happened. She asked my daughter if she could kiss her and my daughter told her no but she proceeded to anyway. This was in the afterschool program and my daughter is 6 the other girl is 9. I need help. Don't know which way to go.

Answer 1

I would go into school tomorrow (call first) and have a meeting with the principal and perhaps also with the after school teacher/director.  The girl is 9, so I think she should know better.  When my cousin was little he started to try and kiss everyone 'with tongue' and when asked about it he said, "well thats how they kiss on tv"... but his mom was addicted to soap operas and he was also 4 years old...  I think 9 is a little too old to let that just fly past.  When I was in first grade an autistic kid on my bus unzipped my pants and reached down them- and it's still effected me to this day.  For your daughters sake, please go notify the school- the others girls mother probably has no idea what happened or even that something may be going on more with her daughter.

Answer 2

This little girl is probably being subjected to some sort of inappropiate behavior at home. The after school program must be notified of this incident!

Answer 3

Relax.  Let it go.  They are just kids.  If you are concerned just have somebody like the girls mother or a teacher tell her it is not good to do that when another person says no.   Kids will do stuff.  It does not mean anything is seriously wrong with the kid.  Don't make a lot of trouble for the kid.  Despite what people may say it does not mean anything is seriously wrong.   You daughter was not violated.  Please!  If the girl was 14 it would be a different matter but this kid is only 9 and stole a kiss.  It is not like it was genital contact or anything and even then kids will do things.  Don't read too much into it.   The little girl most likley just needs a little instruction on boundries now that she is experimenting like this.

Answer 4

what kind of activity is that girl exposed to at home? and everyone needs to b in a meeting first thing in the morn

Answer 5

Your daugther was not "violated"!!   She was kissed.  That's all.

The other girl might know what she's doing, but your daugther doesn't.   She doesn't know anything about sexuality yet.  She she knows is that they touched mouths.

You need to report the "inappropriate behavior" to the afterschool program director to see what will happen.  In this day and age of "Zero tolerance", it will probably be bad.

Answer 6

Go to the school first thing tomorrow and let them know.  This isn't appropriate and some action should be taken.  Teach your daughter that you will support her and that when she says no, it's okay.

Answer 7

Make sure you do not make your daughter feel bad about what happened to her. but Tell her it was so wrong of the other girl to kiss her and that you are going to take care of the situation for her. You as a parent have the responsiblity to tell the school immediately and I am surprised you have not done this already. This girl has probably done this to other younger children, stop her NOW!!! This girl is being abused at home for sure and she needs help for herself as well. She needs to be taken out of school and her parents investigated as well.

Answer 8

I would call the principal and have him talk to the girls mother.

Answer 9

Violated? Are you kidding me. Just go talk to the leaders of the after school program and or principal. Let them keep an eye on the situation.

Answer 10

i work in an ASC as a director and this thing should not be happening...you need to tell the ASC about the incident so they can follow it up. Children of 9 understand right and wrong, and for a 9 yr old girl wanting to do this to a 6 yr old, tells me that something innapropriate may be happeing with the child in their own home. children services needs to be notified so that a follow up can be done to make sure that the 9 yr old is not being abused in any way. to make a report to childrens services is anonymous...so no one needs to know who it was...but if you tell the ASC about this incident and discuss ur concerns with them, it is mandatory for them to make a report, if they feel that something else could be goiong in this childs life.

as for ur child, reionforce what is appropriate and what is not.remind her that she did the right thing to say no, and she did nothing wrong and absolutely everything right. make sure that you reinforce to her that if she does not want any one to do something to her that she must always say no, just like she did, and tell someone...especially her carers at ASC.

kep ur head up...and goodluck

Answer 11

I would speak to whoever was supposed to be supervising them and get a better idea of what happened. Maybe ask for a meeting with all involved including the 9 yr old and her parents.

Answer 12

violated by a 9 year old...what is the world coming to? ignore it, it was probably a one off.

Answer 13

That is very disturbing. You most defiantly need to speak with he girls parents. Ask the after school program's supervisor to make SURE the two girls do not come together. Speaking with leaders helps very much. This girl might be experiencing some difficulties at home, such as her mother not paying much attention to her. This may cause her to need someone to comfort her.

Answer 14

wow! as a nine year old she should've known better! you definitly need to step up and i think you're very right to feel this way! i would too. try talking to the after school coordinator or whatever is teaching your daughter. where was she during this? why wasn't she supervising?

Answer 15

This is uncalled for. First, alert the teacher for this after-school program, then alert the principal. You should then tell the parents, or have the principal alert them. This should stop IMMEDIATELY.

Answer 16

You def have to go to the school and talk to your daughters teacher as well as the priciple.  I'd even suggest having a meeting with the girl and her parents if it's possible at the school.  Or request that the girl is seen by the schools social worker to determine wether or not they feel this was just an innocent playground thing or if she' being abused at home. Tell your daughter she did the right thing by telling you and that she didn't do anything wrong, the other girl was wrong.  At such a young age this could be difficult and confusing for your daughter.  I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.  Good luck with everything.

Answer 17

That doesn't sound right. I think you need to address this with the school head and ask for his/her advice on this. The 9 year olds parents will need to know about this inappropiate behaviour. Your poor 6 year old must have been horrified.

Answer 18

well thats not violated because both kids dont even know wat they doin and also some kids try to do wat grown ups do

like there was a case where 2 kids of 7 years old were having s*x and it was only because they sow theyr parents doining !! and no one could do nathing about it because now this days u see thing on tv or where eva u go  !!

u should talk to u daughter and tell her whats wrong and whats right