My daughter won't quit crying at swim practice....?

Question

She's 7, and loves to swim. We signed up for swim team this year (at her request) and now every day of practice she cries and cries. I told her she can't quit until she quits crying, but now it's been 6 weeks and she has maybe gone 1 week without crying. She's actuall good, and places really well at the swim meets in her age group.

What should I do.... make her stick with it or what??????

Answer 1

no offense but this is horrible parenting. allow your child to choose the activities that she wants to do. maybe at one point she wants to swim..but now she doesnt. at least she now has the life long skills of knowing how to swim and that is by far more valuable than a few medals.

when i was a kid i was always changing my mind. one year i wanted to dance, the next year i wanted to join the basketball team. my parents always allowed me to do what i want and i came out more well rounded than my friends whose parents made them stick to 1 activity.

she is obviously depressed at the swim meets. something has got to be done about it. best advice:  talk to her in a caring way and see why she is crying.

Answer 2

My kids love to swim but have no interest whatsoever in swimming competetively.  Have you asked your daughter what the problem is? If it's a personality conflict with the coach or other students, perhaps you could switch teams or work to resolve the problem.  If she just doesn't want to do swim team, it's probably not helping much to force her to go.

Families handle this in different ways, and it can depend a lot on your kid (some kids take forever to warm up to any activity, and for them, persisting can be a good idea ... some kids are really stoic, and for them, if they're crying and miserable it probably really makes a lot of sense to pull them out).  In our family the rule is that the kids choose their activities at the beginning of each season, and they're expected to give them a real try.  If they've never done the activity before and gave it a fair shot but it turns out they hate it, I'm fine with their quitting.  If they've done it before (so they know what to expect), I do expect them to finish out the season in what they've selected unless there's a real problem (bullying, injury,etc.) but they certainly don't need to sign up again the following season.

Answer 3

Hang on - she loves to swim but she cries?

Are you sure she doesn't have an allergy to chlorine? Maybe try her with some googles.

I don't think you should force her to do anything she doesn't want to do but try and find out what aspect of the swimming she doesn't like. Is it the competiton side? In which case why not pay for some private lessons so she can carry on but without being pressured into winning?

Answer 4

have you tryed asking her why she cries?

maybe she doesnt like her teacher

start there and see why she cries then work from there.

Answer 5

It depends what the problem is.  Has she done this before (other activities, school etc?)  How did the situation resolve itself then?  I would try to help her work through it but if it doesn't improve by the end of the season, or after a few more weeks (depending on if the season ends at the end of school) I would let her pick another activity.  

You should make sure she is not simply allergic to chlorine.  If this is the most often that she has ever swum, this may have triggered an alergy not apparent before.

Answer 6

take her out of the swim team.and if she asks for it again without a trace of a smile or grin firmly say no.

Answer 7

Tell her that if she doesn't stop crying you will give her something to cry about and if she doesn't stop give her a very sound spanking.  After you finish spanking her make it very clear to her that she was spanked because she cried so much and that if she ever does it again she will get another spanking.

If she starts about her swimming class again after you spanked her ask her if she wants another spanking.  

She will say no, and then you should tell her that if she doesn't stop you'll spank her.  This will probably get her to stop, but if it doesn't you will need to spank her again.  

If done right it is very doubtful that she will ever do this again.  This method works very well and if you make yourself clear enough to your daughter after that first spanking (and spank her hard and long enough) she will probably never do it again!

And yes, you should make her stick to it.  If you don't she may try to get out of other more important things after she signs up for them, and this could cause trouble for you and her later.  Make her stick it out and then don't sign her up for it next year.

Answer 8

if she's been crying for 6 weeks let the poor girl quit. don't be one of those parental pimps who try to force their kids into athletics even though they're obviously distraught and unhappy. she may love to swim but that doesn't mean she loves to be instructed on doing it in a competitive way. she may want to leave now and start again of her own accord when she's a little older and can handle her anxiety against possible failure, embarrassment, etc. if you force her to do this, the talent she has, may be lost forever because she might never want to swim again. so let her choose before she resents you for what you are doing. poor little girl.