My daughters grades are slipping weekly..?

Question

First off let me tell you we are an Army family and her father just changed his MOS which means when he is done with his school we have to move. Well since we told my daughter she has become obssesed with hanging out with her best friend who lives two houses down from us. The best friend has no structure at her home and is very defiant my daughter has started to act like the best friend very mouthy etc and on top of that because she is so over the top about the friend her grades are starting to slip she has gone from straight A's to B's in the past two weeks and her weekly test scores are getting worse by the week. So my question is do I send her to stay with my parents where there are no distractions to finish out the school year? We have tried banning the best friend but with her living two houses down it doesn't really work plus they have several classes with each other. I just want my daughter to get back on track!

Answer 1

After reading CSMs Wife's response...there is nothing left to be said.  She has been there done that and survived.  GL.  Now, what the h**l is wrong with our kids...lmao...ur kid has an excuse for some of her issues...Good Luck and be safe

Answer 2

I think it would be a big mistake to send her to be with your parents, there is already going to be the upheaval of moving, she doesn't need to feel like you are getting rid of her, even if it's just for a bit.  And I don't think banning the best friend will work either.  I'm not sure what grade she is in, and whether she goes to school on or off-post.  My daughter goes to a DODDS school and the counselors there will work with children who are having difficulties due to deployments or upcoming PCS moves.  See what your school offers.  You can also contact ACS for advice.  I bet your daughter is acting out because of the upcoming move and she may not even be aware that is the reason.  Be sensitive to her, but still firm, set limits and follow-through, even if it's hard, she needs the stability you offer as her Mom and the person who disciplines her.  Good luck, we have our own PCS move coming up and my daughter isn't happy.

Answer 3

drugs

Answer 4

talk to your daughter and her teacher.  set rules about homework and stick to them.  encourage the friend to spend more time in your home to instill better study habits.

Answer 5

Your daughter is obviously tired of being an Army brat so she is rebelling It's hard to blame her but you need to talk to her and her teacher and nip this in the bud now...

Answer 6

Firstly, it sounds like typical teenage behaviour to me and is probably being made worse by your attempts to curb her socialising.  She is probably quite distraught at moving AGAIN and of course she wants to spend as much time with her friend as possible.  You also don't need to be upset if she's getting Bs - this is still well above average.

Maybe instead of smothering her, you need to sit down with her and discuss your concerns.  Perhaps you can come to a compromise regarding the amount of time she spends with her friend as opposed to studying.  

Remember that she is probably struggling to come to terms with the move as well as just going through the general hassels of being a kid.  Give her a break, let her be herself but set some ground rules.  And remember that it won't be that long before you move away anyway and no doubt it will all sort itself out then.

Answer 7

Make parental decision and follow through.

Answer 8

Get her a tutor that usually does the trick.

Answer 9

I grew up an army brat and I know from experience the older you get the harder it is, you make friends and never know when one of you will be leaving to go to the next base.  you do not say how old your daughter is but chances are she is not thinking about school or the grades all she is seeing is she needs to spend as much time with her friend as she can now because she will be leaving soon.

Sending her to your parents would be a solution for you but probably not for her and your parents.  She would resent being taken away from her friend prematurly and would likely be a pain to her grandparents.  I know been there done that.

Sit down with her and tell her that the grades are unacceptable and ask her why they have been falling.  Let her tell you what is on her mind and listen to her then explain that no matter what else is going on she is a kid and her main job at this point is to get a good education.  Then tell her that you have noticed the changes in her attiutde and it needs to stop.  Set up a plan for her that she has to come straight home from school and get all of her homework done and study for a set amount of time and then she can go see her friend but if she continues with the attitude then you will have to restrict her time there even more.  Banning the friend isn't always the best choice as much as telling her if she wants to spend time with her to do it at your house where you can monitor the attitude.  If after a few weeks it doesn't change any then bring out the big guns and give her the choice of either straightening up her act or you are sending her to grandma.

Answer 10

If I were in your shoes, I would have the friend come to my house where there is supervision.  The first hing would be to have both kids sit down and do homework.  Yes, it is an extra burden on you with two kids doing homework, but at least you know your child is doing her homework.  It is a compromise.  You are ensuring that her educational needs are met, and she is still getting to spend time with her friend.  Keep in mind this plan may make howmework time a little longer.  Plan for snacks. Once the homework is done to your satisfaction, you can release them for free time together.

One more thing...this is natural for these kids to do this.  The next phase will be a big fight.  For some reason kids tend to get into a big argument just before the PCS.  The last PCS I tried to get my son to go to his friend's house to say goodbye and he said that they were not friends anymore and "it didn't matter because they will never see each other again anyway."  Be prepared and Good Luck.  

Army Family Strong!!!