My daugther will not clean her room what should i do?

Question

i have been at it for a while telling her there will be a reward if she does it or making games out of it now she just sits and scream i have took toys away and grounded her i have tried so much any ideas on how i can get her to clean her room ...i don't want to be a pushover mom who just does it for them

any consequences that could work to so she will just do it next time?

Answer 1

Take away her ability to sit down for a day or two.

Answer 2

How old is she?  Regardless of her age, if she sits there and screams instead of picking up like told, I'd say she needs a spanking for disobedience and rebellion.

If she's younger, you may also need to have a training period with her, starting small, and consider making a rule that she needs to clean up as she goes (i.e. get one thing out at a time).

Taking stuff away that she won't pick up is a good natural consequence.  If she isn't impressed by them being temporarily taken away, I would consider bagging up the bulk of it and permanently sending it to Goodwill.  Her character development is more important than having stuff.

Answer 3

When i do not clean my room my parents used to take my cell phone, ipod, or computer away from me and then i will clean then they will give it back to me so if your daughter has something she really likes like one of those things then take it away hide it and don't give it back until she cleans her room, it always works for me.

Answer 4

my dad used to do this. i was the same as your daughter.

he got all my drawers, toy boxes, shelves, under bed storage everything...and emtied it alll into my room. If i didnt clean it all up it would be chucked in the bin.

I soon tidied up let me tell you...and i never messed my room again in fear of my toys beign chucked in the bin.

It does sound harsh but honestly, it taught me a very good lesson, one that is much needed in life (:

Answer 5

Ground the bum until the end of time if you have to.  Too many parents are gutless.  Stand your ground.  There is no negotiating with kids.  You rule the roost.

Answer 6

How old is your daughter?

This boy I used to babysit was and angel.  His mom was a military women and she resorted to giving her child a cold bath when he would get out of line.  It worked for him.

Get a trash bag and pick up all the toys on her floor.  ALL of them!  Have her watch you throw them in the trash.  Put her to bed.  get the toys out of the trash, but leave them bagged up for a month, so she thinks you threw them away.  (this only works for soo long),

My oter g/f discovered her son was only effected when she took away half of Nascars (his fave toy).  If she took all of them it didn't matter.  She'd take half and he would have to earn them back.

If you have the space in your house you can take ALL toys except for books out of her room.  Keep them in baskets or on book shelves in a common area and she has to earn the privilege to lay with them.

Take everything away expect 2-3 toys and make her trade for what she wants to play with.  As she learns to pick up she can have more toys at once.

Time Outs. Real Time outs.  Sit on the floor with her and put her hands on the floor if she's a toddler.  A bit older?  Her nose needs to touch the wall.  Starts mouthing off?  She has to hold a quarter to the wall with her nose.

Depending on her age of course, but my rents did CRAZY things.

We got bread and water one time for dinner.  That was fun.

They took the door off my brother's room b/c he was alwas getting into trouble.

Once they took everything from his room except for a matress.  No pillow no sheets and no door.  He starightened up.  Granted he was a teenager so could undertand the consequences.

Good Luck with your daughter.  Try not to yell.  Sometimes just offering choices are good. ie

"Do you want to pick up all your toys and get icecream for dessert or do you want to leave your toys on the floor and go o bed early (or not watch cartoons, or no dessert, etc)."  Eventually she'll come around if you stick with it.  By the way, if you offer her icecream for dessert for picking up toys and she doesn't do it, eat some icecream for dessert and remind her that you and daddy cleaned your rooms so you get some, but she doesn't.  She may run in her room and clean right away,

Good Luck!!!

Answer 7

When I was younger, my mother would ask me to come to my room with her, but she had a garbage bag. She told me that I could either throw everything into the bag myself, or she would do it, but either way, I had to earn everything back from the bag one by one with good behaviour. Anything that was on the floor or out of place went into that garbage bag (or two or three). If I had good behaviour, such as listened, or did my chores without being asked, or only asked once, after one week, I earned back one item from the bag. My mom even took my door, and that was the last thing that I was allowed to earn back..my privacy. If I could not keep my room clean, then whatever I earned went back into the garbage bag immediately.

This taught me to respect my personal property and my mom. This happened only twice before I caught on that I wanted my stuff and my privacy. Rarely was my room ever messy again, and if it was, it only took my mom asking once for me to clean up. I knew I didn't want to lose my things or my privacy again.

Answer 8

my daughter and step son tried that c**p with me. i calmly walked in to the kitchen and got a trash bag and said you clean it or i will. still nothing so i loaded up the bags full they thought i threw them away but i put them up several weeks later once they decided they was going to do as they was told. and it was more then once  they had to prove it to me. i brount out the toys. you should not have to pay off your kid for doing something that should be done. if she does not learn how to respect what she has now what makes you think she will respect it down the road.

Answer 9

When I was a kid, I had a bad reaction to my parents' divorce. I refused to clean my room absolutely. If my mom said "clean your room", I would just sit in the floor with my arms and legs crossed and my head down pouting. They sent me to the school counselor, then a psychiatrist. The doc told my mom that she had to make me clean my room. I mean literally pull me to my feet and make me bend over and pick up each item one  by one holding my arm and opening and closing my hand if need be. Forcing me to clean it. It taught me that my mom meant what she said. Anytime after that if I would try not minding, she would physically make me perform whatever the command was just to show me I would do as I was told. She had to do it four different times before I finally got that she wasn't going to give up and let me have my way. I am over 30 now, and have two of my own girls. It didn't leave any emotional scars, and it has shown me how to raise well behaved polite girls with firm parenting rules. Maybe you should give it a try. Kids should understand that they have jobs just like we adults do. It is not fair if she has to clean up her siblings mess, the same way it is not fair for you to have to clean up her mess. Chores are not an option, they are a requirement to being a member of your family. If we didn't wash dishes, we didn't get to eat out of dishes. That only took one lesson to sink in. She put our food directly on the table and offered us no utensils. Get creative, they will. Good luck, and I hope I have helped.

Answer 10

age old problem..

you will have to say  what you mean then do it !!

if you tell her she cant go out to dinner till her room is clean and she has not done it   then you leave her at home with a pb&J sandwich and go to dinner without her !!  get a sitter if you have to .

I tell my kids that they can only come out of their rooms to eat/use the bathroom, until the room is clean - Kids have a hard time with organization, please show your child how to organize  then watch them do it  and toss out the garbage. Dont expect perfection  a made bed is made even if it is a little sloppy - that will come later  dont be a perfectionist

many times the child is overwhelmed because it has become the bomb!...do not allow this ....have your child clean  up her room for 20 minutes every day - set a timer so that she can see  how much she can get done in such a little time.

example:

2- minutes to make the bed

5 minutes to hang clothes

5 minutes to clean up books/toys

5 minutes to vacume

set a time  every day for this to be done  

reward her with flowers to put in her room or a friend to come and play because her room is clean - she has to earn things

  

Answer 11

How old is she?  This is what I have done in the past...  I sent my kids away for a sleepover and grandma's.  While they were gone, I cleaned their rooms, got rid of a ton of stuff (donations and trash) and had it organized.  When they came home, we started a new rule.  Pick up your room before bedtime.  If something is out of place, I get to keep it.  The very next day, I had a new nintendo DS!!  I played it in front of the kids, I locked it in my room and I told them that they could only have it back if their rooms were clean for one week straight!  I still have to remind them to pick up every now and then, but I will take that over the fits they would throw!

Answer 12

take everything away that is on the floor do not give them back.  i literally threw my girls toys away including a nice barbie doll collection.  i saved only books and clothes.  it's up to you if you want to save them for a later time but make it much later!