My defiant and constantly lying 5 year old....?

Question

i've punished. i've listened. i've tried to spend more time with him. nothing works. i don't believe in spanking or the like and i am seriously considering totally ignoring him. what other options do i have left??? thanks for any input.

Answer 1

ignore him

Answer 2

Ignoring him will reinforce the idea that he HAS won and that you no longer care.

You haven't run out of options, you just refuse to try the one that will work.

Spank that brat's butt , FORCE him to realize who is in charge and that he WILL do what he is told or else.It is NOT abuse unless you do it in anger and for every little thing he does and you break bones or draw blood and leave bruising.

You can whip him hard enough to draw tears and turn his skin a bright pink, that will be enough to get his attention.

When he behaves, he will realize he has nothing to fear, when he misbehaves, he will realize he has screwed up , but he will think twice before he does.

Right now he KNOWS he OWNS you and HE rules YOU!

Now, are you going to let a 5 yr old rule and own you?

Do what you have always done, get what you have always got.

Or are you going to grow a back bone and some guts, bite your lip, take that belt and wear his bratty little butt out and teach him there ARE consequences to be feared for bad behavior?

Or does the judge have to do it later?

Answer 3

Does he have ADD or some other personality disorder?  my cousin was always loud and defiant, would hit his friends and would swear and make my aunts life h**l. he was on ritalin for many years, and they diagnosed him with defiant oppositional  disorder, and gave him tranquilizers, and he has finally mellowed out now that he's 17.

Still, he has been suspended from school many times for fighting, when they threatened to expel him for good, then she shaped up. Sometimes thats what it takes.

no matter what, you need to keep control. they say the worst thing you can do is let him have his way, even though it seems like the only solution sometimes. don't let it break your family apart, it caused a lot of problems in my aunts marriage

Good luck, I know how hard it is

Answer 4

First of all, it's totally normal....he's asserting himself, learning his identity and pushing the boundaries to see what he can get away with. It also gets him a lot of attention, he avoids getting in trouble and got away with it. He lies because it works for him.

make it a non-issue...just like hitting or swearing, it is not tolerated and results in punishment. It doesn't need to be discussed or negotiated. You lie, hit, swear, bit throw things, you get a time out, period. No discussion, no big deal, no "why, but, if...." If it doesn't serve him anymore and it is more trouble than it's worth. He'll stop. If not, maybe try sitting him down and telling him some stories about what happens when you lie. Like the "Cry Wolf" story.

Answer 5

Please search "opositional defiant desorder".

Get help now.

Answer 6

When punishments fail to work at 6 years old was when I sought the help of professionals. I took my daughter to counseling to try to figure out the root of her anger and behavior problems. I took her to a pediatric specialist for tests and we found her to have ADHD, among other things. Once we found theright medication for her, the defiance calmed down. She still lies and we are still working on that 5 year later.

I would talk to his doctor about what is going on.

Answer 7

What kind of things is he lying about? You should be so firm with him and tell him that lying is wrong and if he doesn't tell you the truth then he won't get his favourite treat/toy. Maybe you could make a star chart? Find something he really loves, like a toy or sweets and promise him he can have them if he is a good boy. Decide on a few things he has to do each week like being polite / being honest etc and if he does them he gets a star on his star chart. I know this worked for a few things for me when I was younger and I liked the way it was a little game as well - I felt excited about getting a star and then a prize for being good.

Another way would be to completely ignore him when he lies. When he starts, turn your back on him and until he apologises and tells the truth, you ignore.

Or another technique - the naughty step. Every time your son is naughty, sit him on the naughty step and make him sit there for a minute. After a minute, if he doesn't apologise and tell the truth, he'll stay there for another minute. Soon, he will so badly not want to sit on the step he'll start being on his best behaviour!

Good Luck with it.

Answer 8

The other ideas are good .. but when I was little everything went back to the "la llorona" which is a old tale of an old lady who drowned her babies in the bath tub & at night you can still hear her cry.. and she goes out and looks for little kids who are bad.

YUP that was our (mexican) good night story!!

And anytime we acted up they'd replace the "bad kids" with lying kids, potty mouth, etc..

I haven't had to use this story on my 4 y/o yet.  LOL

And when that doesn't work.. there's always La Lechusa ... I just mention those two words and my kid cringes and listens!!

Answer 9

Well, I'd say a mouthful of soap for the lying every time you catch him at it.  For the defiance, I'd say make him sit in the middle of the floor in a room without toys, tv, games, or whatever else.

Answer 10

On top of the answers you already received, I just wanted to let you know what worked for me when I was little. My grandmother always was really good at the guilt trips and such, and what always got me was when I "dissappointed" her. Maybe you could try that. Good luck!