My eight year old is being bullied and threatened at school by another girl her age. What should I do?

Question

My daughter came home the other day very upset because another girl had struck her in the face. The other girl told her if she told the bus driver or any adult, she would come over to our house with a knife and kill my husband and I as well as our dog. My daughter has had many problems with this girl and I have called the school MANY times. I really do not feel they are addressing the issue. The next time something like this occurs, is it too much to call the police? What would you do?

Answer 1

I agree with Rita that your daughter needs to learn to stand up for herself. But if the girl is threatening your family, you should handle this with caution. Chances are she's mostly talk, but some kids do cross that line and it definitely sounds like she isn't afraid to get at least a little violent.

The first thing I would do is try to find a way to get to know the parents. Perhaps they are good people who don't know their daughter is like this - she could have some kind of mental problems or just being cared for by the wrong people after school. Then again, the parents could also be the problem and tattling to them could just make things worse. ... Get to know what kind of people they are before deciding that you are definitely for or against talking to them about it. You might simply tell them that your daughters don't seem to be getting along well on the bus and suggest a meeting in a public place to try and figure out exactly what is going on. (preferably without the kids right there)

And no. It is not too much to call the police when something like this occurs. I would tell them about the problems that you have been having and ask if they know about anybody else having problems with this family. They may or may not be willing to release information. Police have talked to me about certain people who my daughter spends time around in the community. All I had to do was let them know that I was concerned about a few things and trying to figure out the appropriate action to take.

Hopefully this girl will get help and/or outgrow her violent tendencies soon. In the meantime, I would also suggest you seriously look into alternatives to the bus. I had to start coming in to work a few minutes late most days so that I can drive my daughter to school in the mornings. Nobody was specifically targeting her, but there were some 'big kids' on the bus that she was scared of.

Answer 2

She needs to go to a teacher and YOU need to go to the school.  Threats like that are not tolerated in school districts.  Your daughter also needs to learn self defense and to stick up for herself.

My nine year old was threatened last year and the principal didn't take it seriously even though two kids (admitted) threatened to shoot him.  I had to threaten the school with media attention.

Go to the police now and the school so that they can't say you never tried to bring attention to the matter.  Don't wait for the next time...do something NOW.

Teach your daughter to stick up for herself.  My sons know that if someone hits them it is perfectly fine with me and their father if they get in trouble for hitting back.

Answer 3

I would take that little ***** and her parents to court!

Answer 4

I wouldn't wait until next time. If the school can not address this situation properly, then it is time to call the police.

Answer 5

Call the kids parents. She obviously needs anger management. Find a bigger kid at the school to teach this bully a lesson!

Answer 6

No teaching your daughter to stand up for herself only causes more problems. Believe me I know. I hate to hear you are having problems, a kid so young is easily harmed emotionally from those things. I had to take mine out of school. I would not let her get by with that this time because that gives her more reason to do it again. If she thinks she got by with it then your daughter could be in for alot more trouble with the girl. I would call the school and see if they can handle the situation first and if I were you I would follow up to be sure that it is taken care of. If she has more problems out of the kid then go talk to her mother. If that doesn't help I would definitely call the police to see where you stand. You can now sue for this type of thing as well. It is hard to get a bully to leave kids alone. I had to take mine out because I thought like may others that he should learn to stand up for himself. Not a great idea. He slowly started standing up for himself. He would snap back then it moved to where he was more confident in himself and would let know what he thought easily. He was picked on because he took up for the kids and befriended the kids who were made fun of. When he started standing up for himself it got worse. Then kids started hitting and it went down hill from there. I told him if you can't get away from them or the teacher is not helping you then hit back, do not let them hurt you. Well that opened another can of worms. Once he hit, the other kids who picked had to find out who was biggest I guess and then he was pushed into a fight alot more often. It got to where they were picking fights from the he got to school until he left school. One day they were jumping off the steps in music ont his back, then hitting him and he did nothing(it takes alot to make him mad), then in gym they started up again and again he did nothing, then at recess they started again and about ten kids cornered him up and he had no choice but to hit back he did. Well when he did one of the kids got a bloody nose, lucky hit. So he was sent to ISS for 3 days. the teachers would do nothing and it wasn't just him they never did anything. A kid broke his finger on the playground and my son happened to be walking by and saw the kid laying on the ground crying so he asked what was wrong then helped him up and walked him to the teachers and when he got to class he was in trouble because the teacher had left him out on the playground since he wasn't in line. Oh yeah and it's supposed to be a great school. I hope you have luck with getting it straightened out but if you don't hopefully you will not let her stay in that school and be mistreated by others. No kid should be treated badly like that. Good luck

Answer 7

i go to the school and if they dont do anything go to the police she wont stop until someone is hurt.

Answer 8

Wow, Yes do call the police or the girl's parents apparently she has issues. they are WAY to young to be dealing with theese kind of hormones

Answer 9

It's time to have a face-to-face w/ the principal.  Explain to her that you've called multiple times (best if you have dates) and tell her that this needs to be addressed at the school level, or you will be going up the chain of command.

Our school has a very strong anti-bullying stance - it extends to words and gestures.  But an actual hit, and a threat takes this up a notch.

Document your meeting w/ the principal w/ a follow up note and send a copy to the administrative offices if you don't a suitable response.

Be aware that you may not be allowed to know the punishment - but your daughter will see what happens and can report to you.

Answer 10

I would just go to the police..

Answer 11

What kind of an 8 year old girl says something like that? She obviously has some big problems already, which I'm assuming are from her upbringing.  I doubt there is very much the school can do to discipline her, unless her family is willing to pitch in and fix their daughter.  But she may not have the best parents if she is doing things like that, especially at such a young age... so... because of that, and because I doubt contacting her parents yourself would help much, I would say calling the police might be your only option. It is kind of a severe reaction, but it could possibly have to do with the safety of you and your family, as well as the well-being of your daughter.  Good luck, I really hope you figure it out.

Answer 12

I would call the police. That's aggravated assault, doesn't matter that she's 8. Someone needs to step in now before the kid actually does follow through with her threats! Good luck!

Answer 13

My son's school has a NO TOLERANCE policy. You can teach a kid to defend themselves, but don't teach them to just fight, like someone else said. If the bus driver didn't see it or hear anything from anyone about it, they won't do anything about it. My son is 8 & he got a "write up" for teasing his own cousin, who rides home with him, 'cause the driver heard him say " I'll slap you into China Town" which is obviously a silly saying & I think he said it was in a cartoon, or movie, BUT I told him just don't say anything like that on the bus or at school& play around at home. The bus driver said it was a "threat". So check out your school's policy on "NO TOLERANCE" If they won't do something to keep that kid away from yours, I would talk to police, no doubt. Also make sure yours knows nobody will hurt your family if she tells! :)

Answer 14

I suggest calling the school and setting up a conference between the principal, her parents and you and both of the girls. Most kids that age blow things that other people say out of proportion. not trying to call your daughter a liar but i do believe hearing both girls stories are better than hearing only one. If she in fact said what your daughter stated then that girl needs counseling, but then again if your daughter just made it up to say it and you do go farther without knowing the actual truth to it, you can get that other girl into something she probably doesnt need. You will know if it is made up if your daughter switches up her story at the conference. On another note, make sure both children are interviewed seperately. that way they dont know what each other has said and it will more than likely come together somehow to the truth.

Answer 15

Teach your daughter to stand up for herself.  Teach her to fight and the art of self defense.

Her self esteem will greatly improve and help her in her future career, life and relationships.

Answer 16

you just need to go up there yourself and tell the teachers to there face and tell them that they need to get this girls parents up there and yall need to have a meeting. And if nothing doesn't stop after that then you need to get the police involved

Answer 17

i would not wait for it to happen again. I would definitly be trying to find out this little girls parents names and give them a visit to let them know what is going on with their child. If this were my little girl doing this to another child, I would definitly be VERY upset and discipline her as needed. I have taught my 9 year old to stand up for herself but there are some things that she should not have to deal with. As in your case, we teach our kids to be respectful to others, but when another child tells your child that they will have a knife and kill their parents and animals, then that has croosed the line. Find out the who the parents are or call the police, they will find out who the parents are.

Good Luck.