My elderly neighbor....?

Question

who is a very sweet lady; but is 25 years my senior. Likes for me to pay her a visit occasionally. She has 6 adult kids (so that makes them around my age); and she gossips about them constantly. This makes me uncomfortable...how do I let her know?? Or should I stop visiting as regularly.

Answer 1

she is probably doing it because she is lonely and her kids do not take time to see her anymore. i would limit visits

Answer 2

you just have to change the subject, there isnt much else you can say without hurting her feelings. or just dont say anything when she is talking about them.

Answer 3

she is probably just lonley. Just listen and be her ear.

Answer 4

tell her u forgot to switch off the oven at home n leave.

Answer 5

You might try saying to her " mrs. x, I love to come and see you, but i want to know how you are doing, not your kids...my pastor has warned me about my gossiping too much and I need to make sure I don't participate in that sinful activity...so please don't tempt me!"  Then just keep asking her about herself or talk about yourself.  Maybe talk about gardening or some other hobby she has.  

Keep on visiting her.  She gossips because she thinks there is nothing else worthwhile for her to say.  Let her know different.  and God bless you for being a friend to a difficult woman.

Answer 6

First you state that she is a sweet lady, then you act as though she is a pain in your neck. Perhaps she is just lonely, her children may have busy lives and not be able to visit her very often and she is just looking to have a little conversation with you. Remember, what comes around, goes around. If you live long enough you may one day be a lonely OLD lady looking to have a companion. Perhaps her being 25 years your senior, she has a lot of knowledge to share. Your loss should you choose to ignore her.

Answer 7

Stop by, but put a time limit on it.  For instance, go, but say you're very sorry, but you'll have to head out in 30 minutes (or 15 or 20)  to make an appointment or meet a friend (it can be an imaginary friend, or get 'stood up' and go for a manicure instead.

This way, you can do something nice for your neighbor, but not get sucked in to much of be in a situation you find uncomfortable.  You also do not have to be available if you don't want to be.

It might make this situation easier to navigate if you can remember a bit about which kid is which-a few vague questions about things she's told you about her kids may go over well, especially if you need to cut time short-it makes you seem interested.

Answer 8

That is too bad you should just tell her the way you feel.

Answer 9

If you have kids, start bragging about them.  There is nothing like a proud parent to get another parent going about how great her kids are.

If not, you may have to firmly change the subject when she begins complaining. If this doesn't work, let her know how you feel - it might upset her for a bit, but I doubt that she will run off her regular visitor and listening ear.

Answer 10

Ignore the gossip, and try to remember the facts about her kids.  She might be lonely, and just need to chat, but not know what else to like to chat, but not know what else to talk about.  Her family is all she has to talk about, unless you can find other common interests.

Answer 11

She is elderly......her kids may not visit her a lot  and she feels a bit left out.she is confiding in you and also using you as a sounding board.She probably values your visits and the company.Just listen and hear her out...or try and change the conversation around.