My eldest brother was so unfair.He favor my youngest bro than us.

Question

I have 4 brothers.They are 21,17,15 & 8.I'm 16.We live with our mum.My dad died 6 years ago.Here how it goes.My 21 bro beat me up for mistakenly accused me smoking weed this evening.After dinner,my mum asked him to appologize to me but he never did until now.I just knew it that he wouldnt appologize.A nother thing happen in our house.My 8 bro failed his math test.As education is seriously taken in our house fail was rarely accepted.If the one who failed is me or my 17,15 bro.My eldest bro will yelled and hit us with the exam paper and only stop when mum interfere.But, just now he just reminded him nicely to study hard.He favor him so much.My eldest bro laid hand on me,17 and 15 bro since we were kid.But he never even raise voice to the youngest.He is so unfair.Why he like the youngest more than us.WHere we went wrong.

Answer 1

I think the problem is that your father passed away and your brother is playing the role of "Dad."  Remember that he can walk away from all of you, and he is sticking around so give him points for that.  He probably didn't apologize to you, because you probably do smoke weed behing his back, admit that.  I know it seems really unfair, and it is, to your older brother, and your mother as well because all of you don't have a dad now.  It's really important to boys, especially.  It's not easy knowing how to be a "man."  I feel for your situation, but also for all of your brothers, especially the eldest.  He's trying to keep it together for all of you and help your mother, raise you all.  It's a really difficult situation, it hard to balance this out because your family of "off balance."  Don't take offense at that, because my family is off balance as well.  That's why I know it's not going to be easy.  Make your own way, try your best, you will need to grow up and get your own life.  Start now.

Plus, your eldest brother probably favor the youngest brother because he doesn't even remember your dad.  The rest of you boys at least, have memories of your dad and got to know him.  Can you see why your eldest brother might be sympathetic and more kind to the little one?  It's not fair, I understand that.

I can understand feeling down, it's not the best situation.  Though really, smoking weed isn't good for you.  My brother did the same thing and honestly he freaked out one time, cracked you know what I'm saying?  It happens, some people might already have some weak link in the brain, and smoking weed might cause it to snap.  The situtation is a downer, right?  I mean, it's the whole family thing.  Everyone is feeling down, that's might be why you like weed too.  Learn how to chill without weed, you can do it.  That can lead to heavier drugs too.

Honestly, the best thing, do good in school, get good grades.  All you boys have to pull up from this.  You'll need education and money to not stay "down."  It doesn't seem like it right now, but your brother cares for all of you or else he wouldn't hit you.  He's trying to get you all to do well in school.  He's mad too, think about it.  He had a lot of responsibility, too much for his age.  He should be dating, thinking about girls, not worry about what you're smoking or how your grades are.  Talk to him about it later, when you calm down, or ask your mom to talk to him for you.  Wait till eveything calms down.

He probably has a connection to the youngest one, that's how people are.  Talk to your mom about that, maybe she can get him to understand that playing favorites isn't that cool for the rest of you boys.  The youngest one probably seems like his son to him, your eldest brother is like a dad connection because the youngest was only 2 y.o. at the time your eldest brother started to be "his dad."  The issue is you boys want that too, but the difference is the age, it makes the connection DIFFERENT.  It's NOT fair, but that is likely the "why."  However, make your mom understand this, so she can try to explain to your eldest brother.  He can't change it, the age difference and the connection, but he might be able to understand that is not fair to the rest of you.  Is your mom dating, hope she picks the right man and maybe remarry?  Do you have an uncle or grandfather that you can trust, be careful about that.  Sounds like you have a cool mom.

From what your wrote, it's a father son relationship, he raise him when he was pretty much a baby.  I believe that, yeah, he favor the little one too much.  It's not easy for your oldest brother either, he's trying to be the "man" of the house.  Try to find  mentor, but be careful about this.  Some men will try to take advantage, and lead the wrong way.  Talk to your mom to make her understand, be careful who you trust.

Plus, often in big families the ones in the middle don't get as much attention.  Happens all the time, there is five kids in my family too.  Good luck to you, I know it's not the best situtation.  You sound smart though, take care of yourself.  Watch out for your other brothers too.