My ex's GF won't let me talk to my daughters dad!!!!?

Question

I am 25 and have a 4 year old daughter. My ex and I split 2 years ago because he was caught cheating with his nieces 18 year old friend. He begged me not to leave him and said that she was nothing to him and that he wasn't even attracted to her. I could not live like that so I kicked him out and he went straight to her and ever since then they have been together. From the start she has caused problems between my ex and I and communication between us. I filed for custody of my daughter after I kicked him out. He had started partying with all her teen friends, drinking and driving, even showing up drunk in the middle of the night with her in the car to come and see me while he was loaded. I was granted in trim custody 8 months after our breakup and he only then started taking our daughter then and the first time ever that he took her when (I live 2 hrs away) he called me from his cell saying that he wasnt driving my daughter back to my house that i had to come get her on the highway when i refused because I was in the middle of cooking his gf took the phone and started yelling and calling me names. I do not talk to her or deal with her at all. i go through his sisters to talk to him and try to get along. I try emailing him and he refuses to answer. She answers instead. Telling me that i ned to talk to her and that I am to not talk to my ex at all. It has been 4 months and a couple weeks that my daughter or me has heard anything from him. I am waiting to get money together to pay the money i owe to the lawyer to finish the custody order. I live 2 hrs away from my ex and My daughter is 4. What should I ask for visitation agreement. Should I have to deal with the gf at all. Should she be involved in the decisions. My Bf of course has only been around 4 months and has not had to be involved in anything because my ex and I havent been communicating. My ex pays child support that is garnished from his wages. I don't know what to do. I didnt do anything to him. He cheated on me and he treats me with such disrespect. He said I let go of the family that if i would have just let him get whatever it was out of his system things would have gotten better. 6 months ago I visited while i was there at a friends place my daughter went to her dads and he called me because they had broken up and he wanted me to come over. I went and he kissed me told me he never stopped loving me. But when I said I needed time to heal and think he went straight back to her when i left town again. I am happier now and my daughter to, he isnt consistant in her life and its frustrating. He drinks a lot because she is so young she likes to go out a lot and they are ofton out at parties. My ex also has 2 sons with an ex wife. I keep in touch with her because my daughter and her sons are related. I dont know what to do please someone help.

Answer 1

First of all you don't have to deal with her at all! Tell your ex to man up. If he wants to see his daughter, he needs to deal with you directly, he has to be man enough to tell that chick to stay in her place. He is a wuss to let her even talk to you like that. I can only imagine that she possibly talks about you like that, in your daughter's presence, which is not only uncalled for, but disrespectful. If he can't man up and tell her to stay in her lane, he would not be seeing my child. Everything would be dealt with through the court system. I wish I would go pick my kid up on the side of anyone's road, you'd hear about me on the news for sure! He is obviously playing games, you are a mother and need to be strong for your child. Do not let her see you putting up with stuff like that from them, she is at an impressionable age and you do not want her growing up thinking that being passive like that is ok. Her parents' relationship is the one that will be etched into her memory for years to come, I understand you want him to be a part of your daughter's life, but if he is not willing to keep your daughter out of such a hostile environment, then good riddance. You and your child deserve better. Make sure you ask for full physical custody as well as legal custody, offer him supervised visitation, untill he cleans his act up. Best of luck.

Answer 2

your ex sounds like a t**t.  my son's father had a crazy GF like that once, but he set her straight by telling her i was his son's mother.  she has no say so in the communication between the 2 of you.  me & my ex were court ordered to go out to dinner once a week (just us) and talk about our son.  you can imagine what a hit that was with his GF.

if he wants to be a t**t...just ignore him.  you have the best part of him running around your living room.