My ex best friend wants back into my life?

Question

first of all we are all g*y males in our mid 20's.

I met him when I was in the 5th grade in 1995 and we became best friends. We got along so well and even got our parents at the time to be friends and they still are to this day. Well everything started going downhill in 2001 once I met my first boyfriend. My friend didn't like him and would tell me everyday that I should leave him so one day I finally had enough and told my friend that if he can't accept my boyfriend that he can leave. My friend chose to leave and to stop talking to me all together. We didn't talk for 7 years until he called me 2 days ago and told me that he had a hard time finding me. He told me that not one day goes by that he doesn't think of me and miss me. The thing I am worried about is that I've met a cool new male friend in 2003 and he's my best friend now and I know for sure that he'll never walk out of my life. I hangout with him every day after work and I enjoy our time that we spend together. I've kind of moved on and i'm scared to let my ex best friend back into my life now. Should I forgive him & give him another chance?

Answer 1

I take it you're g*y and that your boyhood friend and you were friends wih fringe benifits. My take on this is that he had deep feelings for you when you met your new (past) boyfriend and was jealous for fear of losing you and the fringe benifits and was afraid to let you know and fear of commitment to you or anyone at the time. Out of hurt and jealously when you gave him the choice he left. He most likely regretted not telling you and not having you as even a friend most likely left a void in his life. Now he wants to regain your friendship. One thing Seven years is a long time to hold a hurt. Forgive him, let him back into your life, but also let him know that you have a great pal in your new buddy (I imagine, [might be wrong] you and he are fringe benifiting). You may be afraid he'll try and tell you who to see again throw a wrench into your new friendship. You are both adults now, he may have moved on too and just wishes to re-kindle what you had without reservations, after all his folks and yours are still thick, maybe he sees your folks and that's a reminder; even afraid you'll come by with them and he'll be there and uncomfortable.

Do you have commitment feelings for your new best friend? Fear maybe he may learn of past fringes and be scared of you cheating?

Just questions as your question leaves many.

Possibly with a good chat over coffee just you and your past pal you can find out what exactly he wants in a friendship with you. If it's just pals, what's the worry so long as he knows you make time for your best bud? If you don't have a commitment and learn you still like your old pal and whatever you guys did before you might want to do again, maybe that's your fear.

I'd give him a second chance to be at least a friend.

Answer 2

Yes, you should forgive him and let him back into your life.  It does not have to be as your 'best' friend, but as a good, almost lifelong friend.  They are hard to come by.  He made a great effort to get in touch with you and let you know he has missed you.   I wish I could find my best friend from high school and have just such a conversation with him.  

Answer 3

Its been seven years. Hopefully hes grown up since then and he has obviously realized he has made a mistake. Give him another chance.  

Answer 4

You should absolutely give him another chance.  

Answer 5

yes give him another chance and forgive him if he's truly sorry

he doesn't have to be your best friend again but a good friend

and he seems sorry over his past mistakes and has grown up from the last time you seen him.

forgive him and give him another chance because he sounds like a true friend looking for you and missing you every day

and friends like this are very rare to have

Answer 6

i think you should give him another chance. It's sweet that he made the effort to get back in touch with you and it says alot. For him to want to reach out to you again after 7 years is touching! you don't meet friends like that every lifetime i would love to be able to gain old friends back!!

Answer 7

im sorry to say this...

honestly its your fault.

you dont pick a BF over a best friend EVER

he clearly didnt like him, and u actually chose a boyfriend.....?

but w/e its water under the bridge. . .

apparently u have a new chance WITH HIM

Answer 8

As lame as this answer may be; do what your heart tells you. I have been in a similar situation, in which I forgave the person. it worked out for me. Hopefully all goes well for you.  

Answer 9

forgive him.

Make new friends but keep the old, for one is silver and the other gold.