My ex bf, him lying and doesnt want to be in our sons life, what can i do?

Question

I've had a hard time with telling my ex that i had his son. He sent me money for an abortion, which was too late(i was in my second trimester). I didnt even want to do it at all. I was gonna give him away. But I had my son on Jan 11. I didnt tell my ex till 2 ago. My ex didnt want to commit to me because he wants to life his life as a player and being a manwhore on craigslist in Hawaii(hes in the navy and hes 29) he just doesnt want to let that lifestyle go. He's making excuses not to be in our sons life, how am i gonna tell my son.... that his dad doesnt want to be around.. I didnt even sue for child support yet. He just wants me to go on with my life.. thing is its not about me its about our son.

Should I sue, because I've given up on trying to make him understand. like about more than 10 times.

Answer 1

He will only understand if he wants to and you will not be able to change that ... ( sad to say)

  yes you should file for child support. After a few of those he might rethink what he is doing....

Hopefullyy you will find someone who will love you and your son. I know from experience that having a good man around helps make up for a bad father. Not having an active father is hard but if you raise him with all the love you can give him... he will not let that stand in the way.

Answer 2

At this point you need to do what is best for your son. You can't make his father be there for him but you can take legal action to force him to take care of him financially.

You are in a hard position. Focus on the things you can control and try to let the others go. Your child's father doesn't sound like the best guy but I would still not say negative things about him to your son as he gets older.

These things are the result of your choices. Now you must make better choices to improve your life and the life and future of your child.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Your ex may one day realize that life is more than having fun. As he gets older he will think about his son. Make him make take the step. Otherwise your son will have a dad that bounces in and out of his life and he will worship his dad and wonder why he doesn't make time for him.

Give you son a good role model to have as a man. Whether it is a Grandfather, uncle, friend or some heroic character from a book or tv.

Don't tell him his dad didn't want to be around. That will only hurt his feelings and hurt his sense of self worth. A good answer is your dad is far away or just busy. Be the strong loving one and he will know as he gets older how lucky he was to have you. You may one day even get a fathers day gift from your son as well as a mothers day gift.

By giving your son a loving home, a symbol to become as a man and teaching him what a real man acts like you will be giving him more that a self centered, inconsiderate person ever could.

And by all means make him pay support.

Answer 4

Bella my dear you need to cut him out of your life once and for all. You made the right choice having your son.Now start your new life together free of the poor choices from your past !

Answer 5

take him to court for the child support.  remember you can't make him do what he doesn't want to do...that is raise a child. He didn't want one in the first place.  the kid is better off without him.  

Answer 6

put his loser *** on child support and find yourself lose the oser s***w him if he doesnt want to be apart of your sons life better for you why do you want a man like him to be apart of your sons life so your son can grow up to be like him  

Answer 7

Sue him hes a grown man that needs to learn to grow up and start acting like a adult this might be the thing that gives him that wake up call

Answer 8

sue the b*stard ! he deserves it